Oh! What words are there to say, dear Petalweight,
when the very essence of love and duty are at stake?! It seems that nothing but
nothing will do, and verily, I shall fail for all attempts at its undertaking!
Shall I cry to the heavens as I very well did with my thoughts that morning in
Clawstone?! Shall such a caterwaul bring me aid of divine origin so that my
words will be all the more illustrious?!
Oh Munus, forsake me not! I have finally found
myself ensnared within the binding throes of doubt! I fear what lies before me
in yonder, glorious abode which surely holds her comely countenance! Whether
loves or hated by all whom live among our country, this woman is apart from
them all, and my life to hers is but a stark difference than any other
combination! This day would always have clashed into destiny!
Hidden within all that wood, and brick, and metal is
a vision more beautiful than the Great One himself! To speak her name would
cause a stammer brought upon me by my own beating heart! J-J-Jubilee! You see?!
It cannot be said without an incessant pounding! I have been reduced to a
blatherskite, for my heart has consumed my very talents!
Hist! I am not worthy of her, I fear! I didst
partake in the ocean of love, and despite how glorious it was, I threw myself
hence into the flames of lust! Meaningless lust! Mooncalf! To find such
brilliant reflecting light and drown it with tar and fettered shackles: it is
the errand of fools to play the role! Curses to whatever part of this wretched
poet that would find his diamond and so cast it to the cliffs for bits of glass!
Think no pleasant thoughts of me, oh, worshipers of True Grace!
But I am not the same rodent who has since been
driven out of halls of blue flame. I have traveled abroad, I have seen men
fight and die, I have explored the world beyond the heavens and have seen more
than you might expect. I have made a covenant to a gift-giving mouse of the
stars who has granted me far more than any jerboa should possess. This house
which lies before me holds my destiny, and this destiny calls the good in me
that we must soon dance.
Mock the passage of time with solemn footsteps to my
forward clash. Damn the beating of the fevered heart which plagues the actions
of someone who must do what he must. The intensity of not knowing. The growing
pain of possible rejection. Am I to be crushed by whomever she has chosen over
me?
There has been much time. To be sure, this is but a
fool’s errand as she should not deserve to be unaccompanied throughout such a
lonely life upon the earth. I consider not this man to be a rival but a reaper
of the last fruit that I should have taken, and now, it is lost if such a
tragedy has occurred. But even through all this, I must confess to her what
spirits wrestle within my heart for her–dormant they may have become–but that
time has awakened them once more, and the truth must be told.
And as these destinies come to a most certain
clatter and chime, I find myself at peace with myself. I shall knock upon this
door, and in doing so, speak my heart to this woman so that–at the very
least–she will know that I love her.
