The Bully

"The Bully" by T.K. Wade (From the pages of "Wild.")

Going out into the forest should never have to be as nerve racking as it was. Jack never thought so anyways. The poor bunny had gotten to the point where he never wanted to leave home. “Please don’t make me go!” he would plead to his mother. “You don’t know what it’s like!”

Mother rabbit shook her head. “Now, Jack, you need to spend more time with the other rabbits! Honestly, I don’t know what’s so horrible about it. Is there something you aren’t telling me?”

“N-no. I just don’t like it there. Don’t make me go!”

She nudged him away from the warren. “You’re just shy! Go on! I’ll see you later!”

Jack moped to himself as he hopped into the forest. This area was usually pretty safe and was a good meeting place for the bunny folk of the area. The only problem was that there was someone who would always meet him part of the way.

“Prepare to get eaten!” cried the horrible voice from an unknown location.

Jack stopped and trembled. “Go away! I’m not afraid of you!”

The voice laughed. “I don’t care if you’re afraid or not; I’m still going to eat you!”

“Please, just leave me alone! This is supposed to be a safe place. Just… Just go away!”

The voice bellowed out from right behind him, “Die!”

Jack nearly had a heart attack. He jumped around and stared Bobby Badger right in his big, scary eyes. “Please, don’t eat me! I’m scared! There I said it! I’m scared!”

Bobby laughed and pushed the bunny over. “You should have seen your face! It was priceless!”

The poor bunny was panting out his sorrows; he was thoroughly unable to calm himself down. Bobby growled and asked, “You haven’t told anyone about me, have you?!”

Jack quivered, “No! No one! I promise!”

“If you do, you’ll regret it!”

“I won’t!”

The badger poked him roughly in the chest and jeered, “You’re nothing but a nothing, you little twerp! Someday, when you’re older, I’m gonna eat you for real!”

The poking was pretty bad, and the threatening remarks did not make it feel any better. Jack was completely at the badger’s mercy–which seemed to be the case even when he was at home. He coughed and tried to swat the large badger paws away. “Agh! Stop it! That really hurts, Bobby! Please, stop!”

The badger did anything but stop. In fact, he poked even harder. “Why don’t you make me?! Hey, why don’t you tell me your name again! I love hearing it!”

“No!”

Bobby jabbed into the bunny’s chest even harder. “Tell me your name!”

The bunny screamed out, “Ow! Okay! Okay! It’s Jack!”

“Jack who?!”

The bunny’s eyes filled with tears. “Jack… Rabbit. My name is Jack Rabbit.”

Bobby broke out into a fit of laughter. “I still can’t believe your mother would be that stupid! It’s like you don’t even have a name. She’s just calling you what you are! You really are a nothing! You don’t even have a name!”

Jack silently cried to himself as he lay there. The whole thing was as humiliating as it could be, but unfortunately, it was nothing new. This is what he always had to deal with, and it was all he thought about regardless of where he was. Jack took the chance to run away. He could hear Bobby calling to him from behind, “Remember, Jack Rabbit! You’re a nothing! Nothing but a nothing!”

Jack sat under a tree. His friends were there, but he was too upset to play. The only things on his mind were those final words, “Nothing but a nothing.” He knew that it was a lie. He knew that Bobby was just trying to make him feel terrible. But despite that, he could not help but wonder if it was true.

Of course, he thought about telling someone. There were a lot of bigger or older rabbits that could do something to stop Bobby. Jack was just too scared. Even though it was ridiculous, it always felt like Bobby was always there watching for him to slip up. All the help in the world would be useless if he was already dead.

What was he to do? He was just a little rabbit. Jack felt terrible, and he saw no end in sight. Was this how it was always going to be? The rabbit sat there and cried, for in that moment, he really felt like a nothing.

-Author Notes-

This parable was more of a vent. I never had to deal with bullying in my school; they were way too strict for it to ever happen. Still, I saw what was happening on the TV and heard about it from others, and it made me pretty angry. The cases that especially reached me were the ones involving suicides. I am sure that–at some level–those poor kids believed all the bad things those bullies said. That particular aspect was what this story focused on.

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Rodent Spotlight: Chinchilla

Today, I am going to begin with the fiction portion of the blog for a very special reason. Back in 2004, I was an amateur artist trying to make stories with cute little comics. One of those comics was based on a dream I had, and I called it "Animal Daycare." The idea was a group of baby animals meeting together at a daycare facility. There actually was not very much story to be found in these strips; however, the fun of it was found in the character known as Poncho.

Poncho was a baby chinchilla who was exceptionally nervous. He was prone to passing out if anything at all startled or upset him. When I first drew him, I did not know much about the creature he was inspired by. I winged it. Looking back, he really does not look very much like a real chinchilla; although, I think the tail is pretty close.

Now, here is where things get weird. Before I write these blogs, I always do a hefty bit of research into the species so that I can get my facts together. It may actually be the first time I truly sat down and researched the chinchilla. What I found made me very happy. As it turns out, I created Poncho's personality with accidental, yet flawless, precision.

Chinchillas are the very definition of timid. They are easily surprised and shocked, and they tend to be disturbed by anything that seems out of the ordinary. When they are especially stressed, they can go into convulsions for a brief time--this is similar to how Poncho would occasionally pass out. I can imagine a chinchilla enthusiast would have been impressed with how I designed him--even though I invented his personality entirely off of a dream. Maybe, I'm psychic!

The sad thing about Chinchillas is that the very thing that makes them cute is also something very bad. Their nervous natures are the reason they are very swiftly becoming extinct. It all has to do with an inability to cope with a very dangerous and cruel world. It also doesn't help that their fur is considered quite valuable. Chinchillas may be small but their fur grows out so long that that it makes each one of the poor little guys an easy target. I can't help but feel bad for them.

Later in my endeavors as an artist and writer, I teamed up with Coy Fields II and made two comic books entitled "Hollow Glen." For no reason whatsoever, I made Poncho a main character--a sheriff deputy no less. It was the same chinchilla from "Animal Daycare," but now we had a chance to expand on his character in some wonderful ways. He was still timid, he was still nervous, and he still passed out on cue; however, he now had a part in an amazing mystery in a very strange town. I do plan to continue that story someday, and I am sure I will have a fun time writing all the Poncho scenes more than any other. It is especially fun knowing he resembles the proper rodent so much. Rodents are often stereotyped as timid, but chinchillas will always be the real deal.

Thank you for reading this blog. If you enjoyed it, you can leave a comment below, or you can email me at tooie@tooiekangaroo.com. Also, you can read the Poncho comics by clicking the links below. Adiós!

-Poncho Comics-

Animal Daycare
Hollow Glenn Issue #1
Hollow Glenn Issue #2

Pride

"Pride" by T.K. Wade (From the pages of "Wild.")

Richard was relaxed. He felt the grass between his claws as he idly drug them across the ground. He gazed up slightly at the friendly sun. It was hot but pleasant all the same. It was brief moments of peace like this that could really raise a lion’s disposition.

The cool wind that blew through his fur, the distant sounds of wildlife… it was things of that nature that made him smile. There was no reason to move; all he had to do was lay there and relax–just let the whole day pass him by with no troubles in the world. That is, until he would hear those familiar paw-steps coming his way.

Richard grumbled and turned his head away from the offending sounds. The stark voice of his mate blared out at him with all the charm of a dying cicada, “Of course. It’s so typical! Lying down on his fat ass again, while I’m off working all day! Just typical!”

The husband groaned and covered his ears. “I need the rest, Nancy! I have the entire pride lands to worry about!”

“Oh, far be it for me to interrupt such an important session of you worrying! Lord knows, we’d all be doomed if even one of your muscles were suddenly to move!”

Richard grumped to himself as he stood up. “All right, I’m up. Are you happy now?!”

“Yeah, I’m happy. I spent all day waiting for that one glorious moment when my dear and wonderful husband would… stand up! Help me drag dinner over, would you?”

Richard was shocked. “You mean you didn’t bring it up the hill?”

“Oh, then forgive me. I spent half the day trying to find and kill one. Where are my manners?”

“Hey, you act like you do all of the work! My life isn’t sunshine and roses either, Nancy! I’ve got hardships too! In case you haven’t noticed, I just happen to be king around here! That’s a lot of pressure!”

Nancy rolled her eyes. “King, my ass. I do all the work around here.”

“Killing food is women’s work! Leave the important stuff to the man!”

She scoffed and walked passed him. “You men are all the same! You sit at home and do nothing all day, and you actually think you’ve done something! Do you wanna know what happened to me today?!”

Richard asked under his breath, “If I say ‘no,’ are you still gonna tell me?”

Nancy cursed under her breath and went on to say, “I was trying to kill an antelope for you, and two of those damn hyenas came by and nearly took the thing from me! I could have been killed!”

Richard thought about that for a moment. He then asked, “The antelope wasn’t torn up too bad, was it?”

Nancy could only glare at him. Only a moment later did he realize why. He groaned and turned away from her. “As if I wasn’t in constant danger.”

“Oh, I have no doubt that everyone in the pride lands would love to steal your noble title of furry lump.”

“Are you gonna get me my damn food or not?!”

“Get it yourself!”

“Maybe, I will! Maybe, I’ll do it just to get away from your nagging for one second in my life!”

“Go on! See what it’s like to actually do something for a change!”

Richard made his way down the hill. His grumblings were full of various swear words that are too inappropriate to mention. Was this all there was to life: a job that was not going anywhere and a wife that would never shut up? It seemed to Richard that there just had to be more to all this than what he was given.

In the distance, he spotted Pauline. She was a pretty lioness that always seemed to have an eye for him. It was true that he had thought about it many times but never had the guts to go through with it.

The voice from the hill cried out, “Hurry up and get that carcass up here, you lazy good-for-nothing!”

Richard winced and decided to do as told. Something told him that if he did cheat on her, he would be dead within a few days.

-Author Notes-

I got this idea after seeing an episode of “The Honeymooners.” I had also recently found out that the female lion is the one that does all the hunting, while the male is just happy to remain at home and eat the food. I actually find this scenario relevant with humans as well. Imagine a man in a reclining chair. He has a beer in his right hand, and he does little more than watch TV while the wife does all the cooking and cleaning. Confronted with his laziness, he will come up with every excuse in the book to avoid the real issue. Lions fit this scenario flawlessly.

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Check out my ebook "Wild" available for free at Barnes and Noble! Just CLICK HERE!

Rodent Spotlight: Harvest Mouse

Ah! The harvest mouse! Behold one of the tiniest mice in all the world. Also known as the European Dwarf Mouse, this little guy sees things from a very minuscule perspective. Mice are already known for being exceptionally small, but these guys win the prize at 6cm from head to tail.

There is something quite endearing about the harvest mouse. If you ever met one, you might take note about how affectionate they can be. If I was that small, I'd wanna make friends with anyone I could. You know what they say about friends in high places. Being so small can seem lonely. You'd have to live in those paws to understand what I mean.

Imagine if I was a harvest mouse named Sesame. I would spend much of my time staying inside of a little hidy-hole. When the world is so big, it's a very hard thing to build up the courage to face it. But staying indoors is okay. I have two other harvest mice who are my friends. There's Speck who trembles a lot, and also, there is Pinch who likes to talk about all the scary things in the world. It makes him feel better. We three are inseparable and love each other very much. We even like to twist our tails together to let each other know we are close by.

I can't even imagine being alone. Sometimes I have to go out into the world to look for food. I feel like one little pebble in a rushing stream that is just trying so hard to take me away. I always wondered why it had to be this way. Friends as small as me are hard to come by. There are, of course, insects to talk to, but I always end up eating them on accident.

There are days... There are days when I sit at the entrance to my hidy-hole with Speck and Pinch looking up at all the trees, and I wonder where it all ends. It doesn't seem to end. Speck doesn't think it does, but I do wonder. When the world is so big, it still somehow feels like it has you trapped. It's like everything around you is trying to step on you. I really do like being in my hidy-hole.

I'm not sure anyone will ever write about us. I don't even think they know we are here. Maybe, they do. If they did, I'd sure love it if they'd write our story. Maybe someday, people will notice us and make sure we don't come to any harm. If a human tried to make friends with me, I wouldn't mind. But until that day, I'm just gonna sit here in my hidy-hole with Speck and Pinch and imagine of less oppressive times--like a world where everything is as big as we are. It's okay to dream.

Thank you for reading this blog. If you enjoyed it, you can comment below, or you can email me at tooie@tooiekangaroo.com. Squeak.

The Bad Boy

"The Bad Boy" by T.K. Wade (From the pages of "Wild.")

The flock of females was in a tizzy over the new boy duck that had been seen near Gallow Lake. Serena fluttered as she told the other girls about him. “Oh, I’m not joking about this at all! They say his name is Tucker, and he waits around Gallow Lake–all handsome and stuff. When a girl comes by, he calls you over, and who knows what happens then!”

Mary giggled. “His name is Tucker? That’s so cute! Where did he fly from?”

“Nobody knows, but I hear he’s one of those bad boys. You know the type: quiet, handsome, takes what he wants. I almost drop eggs just thinking about him!”

The flock giggled so loudly that it could be heard for quite a distance. Mary was the worst of it. She was normally the shy type, but this mysterious duck from Gallow Lake had really overtaken her thoughts. She asked, “Have you seen him? Is he still there?”

Serena quacked, “Oh, I’m sure he is, but between you and me, I don’t think I have the guts. Only a few girls I know have been there, and well, they never wanted to leave is all I can say! That boy has charm beyond reason! It’s almost scary!”

“He sounds so dreamy!”

“Come on, Mary! You know you wanna go see him so bad!”

Mary blushed. She really did, but like Serena, she was scared of what the bad boy was like. Did that mean that he was not nice, or was it just a euphemism for being dirty? She was not sure but really wanted to know. “I gotta go. I’ll see you girls later!”

All the girls giggled, especially Serena, as she flew away. “Face it, Mary! You won’t know unless you go see him!”

Mother was less understanding. “I absolutely forbid you from seeing that duck!”

Mary huffed. “But Mother!”

“No ‘buts!’ I’ve been hearing some pretty strange things about this Tucker fellow. Women seem to have been disappearing lately. I don’t want you going over there!”

“Mother, this isn’t fair! You can’t keep controlling me like this! I’m not a duckling anymore!”

“I’m only telling you this because I care about you! Stay away from Gallow Lake!”

Mary lowered her head. There was something so hurtful about being restricted like that at her age. It just was not fair. Begrudgingly, she nodded to her mother duck; however, she had no plans on actually obeying.

The next day: Mary flew over towards Gallow Lake. She was not going to do anything; she just wanted to look at him. At the very least, it would be a chance to tell her friends what he looked like.

As she got close to the lake, she landed on the ground. It took a few glances before she saw the single duck in question. True enough, he did look quite handsome, but he also looked very lonely. Devilish thoughts ran through her mind.

She suddenly heard him call to her, “Hey, pretty duck! Come down and play with me!”

Her heart skipped a beat. Was Tucker calling her? Something was just so alluring about it. Was she really going to do it? She decided that she was not going to let her mother control her anymore. This had to be done. Mary flew right over and landed in Gallow Lake.

“So, you’re Tucker, right? I’ve heard a lot about you. Where you from?”

Tucker said not a word; he just looked at her with those pretty duck eyes. She blushed at first, but then something just felt off about it. She asked, “Are you all right? I’m not bothering you, am I?” He remained silent. The more he did not talk, the more Mary was suspicious.

She swam up close and gently pecked him on the beak. Her heart sunk within her. “Oh, no. Oh, God. You’re not real.” She turned and flapped her wings. “He’s not real!”

She took off into the air, quacking at the top of her lungs, “He’s not real! He’s not real!” A loud bang was heard from nearby, and Mary fell back to the water with only one final thought: she should have listened to her mother.

-Author Notes-

There comes a point in in a teenager’s life where he wants to rebel. There are a lot of temptations out there, and a lot of them are influenced by that person’s peers. Sometimes something looks so good, but ends up being a trap. That was the reason I used a duck decoy to illustrate that concept. The parents usually make good calls on these things and listening to them at these critical moments would be advisable.

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Check out my ebook "Wild" available for free at Barnes and Noble! Just CLICK HERE!

Rodent Spotlight: Naked Mole-Rat

During much of my research into the fascinating world of rodents, I have seen many spectacular specimens; however, there is one rodent in particular that seems entirely separated from his cousins in form. The naked mole-rat has to be--without a doubt--the ugliest rodent I have ever seen in my life. I actually have difficulty looking at them, and I have heard that many other people feel similarly. Some of the pictures almost make the creature look like it is the rotting corpse of another rodent. Talk about horrifying!

Supreme ugliness aside, I did find that the naked mole-rat had some very unusual aspects that made me double-take a few times. Firstly, they feel no pain. I'm not joking. They do not feel any pain at all. That's just... weird! Can you imagine going through life without feeling any pain? I sure can't.

Another odd thing about them that is totally off the rodent charts is their longevity. A normal rat lives about one full year. A naked mole-rat lives a whopping thirty-one years! On top of that, they are almost entirely impervious to diseases and even cancer. Incredible! Rodents--as a whole--are not known for their ability to live very long.

Wait! I'm not done surprising you! The naked mole-rat are burrowers and usually live underground in colonies of about 20 to 300 individuals, but that isn't the weird part. True, that IS a big colony, but many rodents live underground. The weird thing is that they operate a lot like bees. They have the queen mole-rat who yells out the orders while the worker mole-rats serve her with unwavering loyalty. They don't come up for air very often either. Too much carbon dioxide? No problem! These guys hardly do any breathing to begin with. They don't do a lot of seeing either as they are almost entirely blind.

All right. Now, for fiction. Congratulations, Mr. Mole-Rat. Despite your horrible ugliness, you exist within two works that I was able to track down. In the Disney show "Kim Possible," there was a naked mole-rat named Rufus who was the pet of the character Ron. He was surprisingly cute, for a mole-rat, but that was likely because he was drawn somewhat unrealistically. Nothing wrong with that. We will also ignore the fact that naked mole-rats are not recommended as pets. Rufus was a good little agent and quite agile and sneaky. They even made a very cool rap for him aptly called "The Naked Mole Rap." Clever! I really enjoyed it!

My very first introduction to the species was in one of my favorite episodes of "As Told By Ginger." Yes, I know this is primarily a girl's show. I loved it, and I am not ashamed to admit it. In the episode called, "Family Therapy," Carl--who is usually quite happy to be dealing in revolting things--finds that he has a phobia of naked mole-rats. He cannot even bring himself to look at one. Quite a charming little plot-line, and I encourage anyone who is interested to see how it resolves on YouTube. In this episode, the rodent was presented in its realistic form which would account for Carl's fear--this coupled with the fact the creature crawled up his pant leg uninvited.

I am happy to say that I did write a story about a naked mole-rat--just recently too. It was called "Three Rats," and one of those three rats was the rodent in question. I painted him as a dreadfully hideous creature but with a wonderful heart which meant more than anything else. I believe that this is a good way to portray him, but do not dismiss the possibility of an evil mole-rat. There is something to be said for how "Dick Tracy" portrayed villains. The uglier they are, the meaner they can be. Still, this is one creature with potential, and I believe it has--by now--been appropriately recognized.

Thank you for reading this blog. If you enjoyed it, you can comment below, or you can email me at tooie@tooiekangaroo.com. Egad!

Motherhood

"Motherhood" by T.K. Wade (From the pages of "Wild.")

It was something that you could almost always find on a mid-Monday afternoon. Mothers from all around would gather near the golf course in Alice Springs, and every last one of them were kangaroos. Of course, their sons were there too.

As usual, Maggie was the center of attention. Her boy was proudly propped up in her pouch and seemed happy to just peer about at all the onlookers. His mother was the big talker of the bunch. “I’m not bragging when I say that Ricky here is no stranger to fame. Wins just about every contest he enters and puts those other boys to shame.”

Surprisingly, the other mothers were not terribly bothered by the outright swanking. Not that she was enjoyable by any means, but Maggie was the one who started this whole thing. She was given a lot of leniency for this reason.

Jamie decided to throw in a compliment just to keep her from getting testy. “He’s growing up real fast. The little joeys gonna leave the nest soon enough.” Everyone present was a little surprised to see a look of horror in the boy’s eyes.

Maggie rubbed Ricky’s head to calm him down. “What’s all this talk about leaving? You’ll scare the poor boy. Ricky’s just a babe. Cut him some slack, girls.”

Gertrude–one of the tubbier of the bunch–took the chance to speak up, “Now, Maggie, you have to let go eventually. All our boys are out playing. Why, just recently, my little Beckley kicked one of them golfers right into the drink. Never saw it coming! He’s a real kicker, he is! Can your boy kick, Maggie?”

Maggie huffed. “I don’t see how kicking any human proves anything! My boy has sensitive feet!” Ricky backed up his mother by nodding profusely.

Jamie rolled her eyes. “Sensitive feet have nothing to do with it, Maggie. You’ll smother the poor boy if you’re not careful! I mean just look over there at Julie Sue.”

Of course, everyone looked. Julie Sue was one of those mothers who was hard not to look at. She was getting on in years and she had let her body blow up to some degree. But the worst thing about it was that her son–who could no longer be considered a child–was hanging halfway in and halfway out of her pouch. It was one of the most awkward arrangements that anyone had ever seen.

As everyone expected, Maggie was out rightly insulted. “What makes you think anything of the sort would happen to me?”

Gertrude answered, “Face it, Mag, poor Ricky is gonna just keep growing up and never move out of your pouch. And don’t you be blaming his sensitive feet when it happens!”

Maggie covered her boy’s ears. “Stop talking like that; you’ll traumatize him!”

Jamie huffed. “Come on, Maggie. Why don’t you just let him out for a bit? Let him get to know the other boys.”

Gertrude agreed, “Yeah, Mag, just let him play outside of your darned pouch for a change. Get him some grass between his toes!”

Maggie was usually the most stubborn of the bunch, but she was not used to being backed into a corner like that. She turned to look at Julie Sue again which only made her shutter. Even she figured that kid needed to get a life. The kangaroo grumbled and guided her son’s head up to look at her. “Okay, baby, these girls won’t leave me alone. How you feel about hopping around with the other boys?”

Ricky was not really sure what to think about that. He was so used to spending time with his mom, but then again, the thought of playing with other boys did sound fun. He decided to meet her halfway. “Can you come watch me?”

Maggie smiled brightly at that response. “Of course, I can!” As she hopped away, she said, “Now, don’t do anything too rough with them. Oh, and don’t kick anything. Don’t run too fast either. Come to think of it, maybe we should just watch them play rather than join in.”

Jamie winced as they hopped away. Gertrude grumbled, “If she keeps this up, she’s gonna need a bigger pouch.” Everyone nodded in agreement.

-Author Notes-

It should be apparent why I chose kangaroos to symbolize mothers. The issue I was trying to bring to the table here is the problem with overprotective mothers. Sensitive feet or not, if a child does not learn to break away from the nest, he will end up in a far worse scenario later in life. Mother and son are both to blame, but I give a special shameful glare to the mother who should have been more responsible.

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Check out my ebook "Wild" available for free at Barnes and Noble! Just CLICK HERE!

Rodent Spotlight: Guinea Pig

Here we have one of the more popular and well-known pets of rodentia. The guinea pig is a very fun creature, and I should know. My sister used to keep one when I was very young. These tubby little critters are quite friendly and easy to get along with. It is no wonder so many people enjoy keeping them as pets and giving them silly names.

Guinea pigs are very cute. Like their namesake, they are quite fat. They have a comical look on their faces which is very endearing. Also, they can have a variety of hair styles; although, perhaps I should say fur styles. But you have to admit that that sometimes it really does look like hair. You can imagine how the girls love to groom and brush these cuties. Sometimes they even get decorated with little bows and flowers. Aww!

But what about guinea pigs in fiction?! You likely imagine that they are quite cute and dressed up in the stories we create. The answer to this is a clear and resounding... not really. Turns out the only guinea pig story in fiction that I could find was a Disney movie called "G-Force." Quite literally, this was a movie about commando guinea pig secret agents who had been specially trained by a government funded program. They also had really cool technology and even these awesome rapid transport rodent balls they could drive down the street.

Even still, there was a scene where a human girl was playing dress up with one of the agents. It was insanely cute but somewhat bordering on disturbing as well. The secret agent stuff was a lot cooler, and even the plot was not really that bad. Okay, so it was a silly movie, but its one of the very few things these piggies have to brag about.

Personally, I just do not think I would go the secret agent route. That seems more suited for mice, rats, or gerbils. In reality, guinea pigs are really not that athletic. I see them more as merchants. I love the idea of a tubby merchant who travels about selling his wares. They would spend a lot of time in the tavern as well fattening themselves up with the money they make. Still, I am glad to see they have been immortalized in fiction. Not every rodent out there has had that pleasure.

Thank you for reading this blog. If you enjoyed it, please leave a comment below, or you can email me at tooie@tooiekangaroo.com. Ho ho!

Family

"Family" by T.K. Wade (From the pages of "Wild.")

Timmy the coyote hung his head down low as he moped right into the den. Peter, the boy’s father, took notice of his sulking kid. The boy tripped over a pile of bones and just laid flat upon the floor. This was followed by a very sorrowful sigh.

Obviously concerned for his son’s well-being, the father asked, “Is there something wrong, Son?”

The boy sighed again as if trying to gain even more attention. “Oh, it’s nothing, Pop.”

Peter trotted over to his son and helped the boy to his feet with a well-placed bite to his scruff. “Now, what did I say about keeping secrets? Tell your old man what the problem is.”

The little coyote rubbed his nose with his leg and said, “It’s Billy from the other valley, Pop. Told me I was good for nothin’. Can’t even catch an ol’ jackrabbit.”

Peter chuckled. “Is that all, son? That’s nothing to worry your little head over!” The father ruffled up the boy’s head fur. “I’ve seen you catch plenty jackrabbits!”

“But Billy doesn’t know that! I bet he’s been telling all the other guys… and maybe even the girls. None of ‘em are gonna like me anymore.”

Kate trotted from deeper inside the den. “Honey, I got dinner all trussed up in there…” She gasped when she saw her son. “Timmy! You look awful! Are you sick?!”

Peter blocked her from getting to him. “Now, now, dear, the boy is just having problems with his friend. I’m pretty sure this is a matter his father can help him with.”

“What kind of problems? They aren’t biting him, are they?”

“Oh, I don’t think so, dear.”

Timmy peeked around to see her. “Well, actually he did nip at me a little. He looked like he was gonna do more, so I ran away.”

Kate forced her way past Peter and checked him over. Peter grumbled, but he knew that there was little he could do to stop her now that a potential injury was involved. The mother said, “You do have a few “boo-boos” on your bottom, dear.” She licked at them.

Once more, Timmy let out a sorrowful sigh. “What do I do? Catch a jackrabbit in front of him?”

Peter sat down on his haunches and replied, “Things like these tend to cycle out of control, son. You need to stand up to him or you’ll always be afraid. Who knows, he might get some of the other boys in on it… then where will you be?”

“But gee willikers, Pop, Billy’s so much bigger than me!”

Kate cocked her head. “Big-nosed Billy? Dear, he’s just as small as you are.”

Peter concurred, “Yes, dear, I was just getting to that. He’s just putting on a big front. But I’ll tell you a secret, Son. He has one major weakness.”

Timmy asked, “What’s that, Pop?”

“He’s not my son. You can take him any day.”

“You want me to take him?”

Peter smiled proudly. “Well, naturally I expect you to kill him. Just give him a good hard bite to the neck. After a few jerks, he’ll go right to sleep.”

Timmy looked up to his mother. “Mom, do you think I should do it?”

She sighed and nodded. “Your father is right, honey. You should go out there and break his neck. At the very least, the other coyotes will respect you for it. Just try not to track too much blood into the den when you come back. I just cleaned.

Timmy hopped into the air with newfound courage. “That’s what I’ll do! I’ll kill him, and he won’t be makin’ fun of me no more!”

Peter chuckled. “Go get him, sport!”

Timmy darted out of the den to take care of business. Peter stood next to his wife and let out a happy sigh. “There he goes, dear.”

She nodded as a little tear rolled down her furry cheek. “Our boy is growing up.”

Peter quickly snapped out of it and asked, “So, what’s for dinner?!”

She giggled and walked towards the back. “I think his name is Robert.”

“Sounds delicious, dear.”

-Author Notes-

After watching an episode of “Leave it to Beaver,” I had the idea of presenting a similar story but from the perspective of vicious coyotes. The moment where the father encourages his son to murder the one who is bullying him is intended to come across as shocking while still realistic. Nature is a very hostile thing, and there is no problem in the animal kingdom that cannot be solved by simple murder.

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Of Murridae

"Of Murridae" by T.K. Wade (As told by Petalweight the bard.)

Hark! But doth my ears perceive the clanging bells that cry freedom?! Murridae rings with such tidings and beckons all those beyond to her happy borders! Come and be merry within the land where many prosper and find joy! For it is here where the sun shines brightest! You cannot declare otherwise!

A young nation born from a tribe overseas–we came seeking new lands and were nary met with disappointment! It is here we built upon vacant soil and from such an effort we made Rodopolis! Castle and king reside there, and from those great walls did we run about and take claim to these empty lands! Why not?! What is empty soil worth of itself–but that we must plant our lives upon it!

And now, miles uncalculated have we driven ourselves from where we began! Cities and towns litter the map, and more seem to come about! Prosperity and invention are evident, for we have already taken to the skies on the backs of ravens! Is not Murridae greater than the Old World?! Aye!

But pray! Do not forget our greatest accomplishment! Be ye blind and deaf?! For years that have come and gone, this country has seen many a marvel, but one cannot breath and fail to admit the truth! For Murridae would be so much lesser a wonder without a certain jerboa named Petalweight! Aye! You heard me! Dare you denounce me?! Nay! You embrace it! I know it and so do you!

Who else among this country carries words as I?! Who else among these abundant patrons has more of a graceful form?! Ha! But not even the Great Jerboa himself could attest such merits! Consider yourselves of times fortune, for you all are my contemporaries! Cry out that you have seen me! Shout that you have heard me! Weep when I am gone! For these are the words of Petalweight, and as a product of Murridae, let it be known that we truly live in a remarkable land!

-Glossary-

Murridae: The country in which Petalweight lives. It is populated by many races of rodents.

Rodopolis: The capitol city of Murridae.

Old World: The people of Murridae originate from a far off land overseas. I never actually gave the place a name. Teehee.

Jerboa: A species of rodent with long tails that have little puffs at the tips. Petalweight is a jerboa.

The Great Jerboa: Jerboas believe there is one god that ultimately represents their interests. The other rodents believe in this god as well but believe him to be one of many gods. They call him Irritum, the god of vanity.

Rodent Spotlight: Fancy Rat

Not every rat in the world is known for crawling around in filthy gutters, eating garbage out of trashcans, and spreading diseases. Some rats rather detest the lifestyle! We call these rodents fancy rats and for good reason. These rats live far above the greasy proletarian caste of rat society.

I first heard of these remarkable specimens while perusing the DVD special features of the movie "Ratatouille." At first, I thought it was a joke, but then I started hearing the term "fancy rat" in other places. The designation basically refers to a particular species of brown rat that is commonly kept as pets. Oh, yes! No garbage for these little princes. Only the best table scraps will do!

It wasn't always the easy life for the fancy rat. They had to fight their way up to current luxuries. In the 18th and 19th century, fancy rats were bred to be used in some very gruesome blood sport. They were forced into great arenas and made to fight other rats as well as bigger creatures like dogs and cats. It was all very cruel, but some rats actually survived to continue the bloodline even to this day. Now, the fancy rat is treated with far more respect.

Fancy rats are evenly tempered and get along fairly well with others of their high society ilk; however, they will sometimes get into tussles with each other. I'm sure this is going back to their fighting roots, but they usually don't rough it up too badly. It's all about who gets the first of the food now-a-days rather than who gets to live.

We do not see many fancy rats in fiction, but the door is wide open for the possibility. In my unpublished novel "Rat," I had some fancy rats portrayed. In stark contrast to the main characters, these rats had grown very dependent on the humans for just about everything. There was some jealousy when the newcomers were added to the cage, but I can understand that! The affections from the great human overlords will be split between them! How dreadful--but not as dreadful as living in garbage cans! Bleck!

For better or worse, being a fancy rat is a remarkable status that all rats would likely wish for. Sadly, most of them must be content with the paw they were dealt. And besides, with as much garbage we throw out on a daily basis, they will likely never starve to death out on the streets.

Thank you for reading this blog. If you enjoyed it, you can comment below, or you can email me at tooie@tooiekangaroo.com. Pinkies up!