I'll admit that, upon finishing the Old Testament, I felt horribly depressed. Can you imagine what the world would be like if the Bible stopped there? What would the point be? Also that was a lot of reading. I just about got sick of reading about the abject failure that was humanity. And it's not even sin that bothers me; it's human stupidity. We're all so helplessly stupid. I even feel incredibly stupid most of the time. I can barely even contend with my own stupidity most days.
When I finished the Old Testament, I felt like I lived in a pointless world that was locked in a repeating cycle of stupid for eternity. Suicide actually sounded good. I'm serious. Living had no meaning, because doing any good in the world would ultimately be undermined by someone in the next generation... or even this generation. There is no reason to even exist if the Old Testament is all there is. You would still have the righteous and the sinners, but the human experiment, as a whole, would ultimately be a massive failure.
I'm rambling.
"Matthew" is the fortieth book of the "Holy Bible," and it was written by Matthew himself. It is the first book of the much needed New Testament and the very first time we see the name Jesus. From the moment I started reading it, I didn't feel like killing myself anymore. Of course, I pretty much had an idea that this story existed, but give me a pass. I had to pretend that Jesus didn't exist to fully understand the Old Testament to begin with. I research stuff in weird ways.
The tone of the "Holy Bible" has completely changed at this point. Matthew writes this book as a very carefully researched essay with all of his facts and notes pristinely jotted down so that there is no mistaking what the story is about. He does this to a fault. By fault, I mean that he ended up spoiling the story almost from the very beginning.
Throughout the story, the author goes out of his way to say exactly who Jesus is and who he becomes. He constantly says that he will be betrayed and by who. And yes, I KNOW! I KNOW! I don't care! Stuff like this annoys me! I had to wade through the muck that was the Old Testament only to have a book that did nothing to please my spoiler-avoiding tendencies! I freaking hated it!
Even so, the story it told was what I needed to see. I needed to know that there was a point to all of this, and that's what I got. The story of Jesus Christ is mostly here. I do have a few notes I want to make, and then I'll wrap this up.
1. I had no idea that the food multiplication scene happened twice. The way it was pitched in Sunday School suggested that it was a miracle that happened once, but that was not so. This proves once again that Sunday School is pretty much worthless.
2. There were a lot of prophet's that were quoted to make a point that the things that were happening surrounding Jesus were fulfilling their words. I liked this, but many of them were not prophets that I was familiar with, such as Jeremy. But that is not the end of this note:
As it turns out, most of the prophets are actually ones from the Old Testament, but all of the names are spelled and pronounced differently here. (I don't actually care why. I'm just glad I figured this out.) Jeremy is actually Jeremiah. Jonas is Jonah. So on and so forth. It's all there.
3. The part about prayer was fascinating, but I was a little confused. Jesus says we should not be repetitive in prayer, and I agree! I do think people say the same things over and over again in prayer and it's a bit silly. People should pray to talk to God, not just as a muscle-memory habit. But then he gives a boiler plate prayer to say that would be incredibly repetitive if overused. I guess it's for dumbasses who can't think of anything else, but I thought it was a noteworthy moment.
Also Jesus debunked public prayer pretty harshly. He said that people should pray in the solitude of their closet. I agree. I have always felt uncomfortable with public prayer. Half the time, I feel they are doing it so that other humans can hear them doing it. Praying in the closet completely makes that impossible.
4. There was a surprising scene where Jesus was seen talking with Moses and Elijah. To be a fly on the wall! Good lord, I would love to know what they were saying. Mainly with Elijah though. I just find him to be more interesting than Moses.
5. As was seen much in earlier books, Jesus throws out the perfect sanctity of the family. Of course, you can prioritize them, but you don't have to bury yourself in their sin. And a friend can be just as close as any family member. I love this.
6. The scene where the disciples rebuked the children but Jesus wants the children to be left alone: seems to me to be a cry against extreme reverence that the church often exhibits. On the whole, it seemed like Jesus was promoting a childlike innocence even in adults. Adults do get more cynical and sinful as they grow up.
7. There is an extreme effort on part of Jesus to rebuke the authority of the Church and place it entirely in the hands of God. The idea that someone within a Church can be more authoritative than God is antithetical to Christ, but it does sometimes feel like churches push that a little or a lot depending on the denomination. Jesus is promoting a direct relationship with the Father on an individual basis.
8. It was clearly stated that there is only one unforgivable sin and that is to blaspheme the Holy Spirit. As pointed out in my own book "Our Divine Comedy," it is because the Holy Spirit is the personal friend of God the Father. It's a big no-no.
9. Don't cast pearls before swine: the one absolutely crucial suggestion made by Jesus that no Christian ever freaking bothers to enact. If you know someone won't listen, then shut the hell up.
10. Jesus was asked to give a sign to them which was a silly thing to ask. Jesus himself was not only a sign but a fulfilling of their own prophecy. And even if he did give them their "sign," what would it matter? People see amazing things to this day and still don't believe. It would have been pointless. Those people were still lost somewhere in the Old Testament where nothing really matters.
11. The very beginning of the book simply explains the lineage from Abraham all the way to Jesus. I think I saw this as a child and was bored to tears for lack of understanding. As an adult, this is an amazing thing to read. Matthew really did his research!
12: Lastly, I thought of this one while I was editing this blog: When Jesus died, a whole bunch of crazy shit happened. There were earthquakes and people crawling out of their graves. This wasn't very much expounded upon, but I did get curious about it. Were they alive for good, or was it like a temporary zombie thing? Either way, the death of Jesus had a massive impact on that area. The potential energy released from abruptly shutting down his perfect life must have been massive.
I so freaking recommend "Matthew," especially if you just waisted tons of the hours of your life reading either the Old Testament or "Gulliver's Travels." Yeah, I'm bringing that book up too. They kind of share the same theme. Either way, it's good to be back in a world that makes sense!
This blog was written on January 10, 2022.
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