Marsupial Spotlight: Koala

I just know that there is some person out there who is surprised to read that the koala is not a bear but--in fact--a marsupial. So why do so many people call them "koala bears?" Simple! They look like bears--big-nosed, frowny, tree-climbing bears. This is one of the reasons I have said that there is a lot of diversity when it comes to marsupials. The koala looks nothing like a kangaroo other then the fact that they are also macropods--this meaning that the females have pouches for their young.

The koala is a chubby animal with a general body length of 33 inches. They can also weigh as much as 33 pounds. (That's right; the same number for both.) They have very dark, curved noses which is one of their most noticeable features when contrasted to their beady, little eyes. They also have very rounded, fluffy ears which adds to their iconic appearance. Their "hands" have something you may find weird and wonderful. They have two opposable thumbs which assists them with climbing trees. Just to clarify: that is two thumbs and three fingers. The idea of this makes me think it would feel weird to have one grab my arm. The koala also seems to have a perpetual frown on his face. No joke in the world is clever enough to fix this. Don't even try.

Now, for the fun part: personality. More often then not, koalas are personified as being very sleepy. Is this based on reality? The answer is: yes! Koalas are one of the most useless animals ever created--as they pretty much remain asleep for 20 hours every single day and only wake up to do a bit of eating. As I am sure 4 hours of eating eucalyptus leaves must be very tiring for them, they pretty much have to sleep off all that hard work. Yes, I know it must sound like I am being mean to the poor things, but the truth is that I really am being mean to them.

Another hilarity about the koalas is how amazingly stupid they are. As a matter of fact, the koala has one of the smallest brains in proportion to body weight of any mammal anywhere! "Why is that?" you must be wondering. Apparently--and I am not making this up--their skulls have to be extra thick because they have a tendency to fall out of trees a lot while they are sleeping. These guys come with their own black box!

Like many marsupials, they can only be found in Australia; however, koalas are generally found on the eastern side. As I previously suggested, they absolutely love eucalyptus trees. It's like cheese to a mouse for them. But you may be surprised that they do have a social period of their day. They all get together and make noises at each other for no more than 15 minutes, then its back to sleeping! It's good to see animals so active in their community.

Koalas are no strangers to fiction. I have a few that I love personally. The first of these would have to be the 1987 cartoon "Adventures of the Little Koala." This show was actually an anime that was produced in Japan after all the girls there went nuts over some koalas that were showcased in one of their zoos. The series was actually a major influence on me. I ended up writing my "Cottontail Pines" stories with much drawn from that show. It brought together many cute animals living together in an adorable village, which is similar in aesthetics to what I have done.

In 1984, I was introduced to another translated anime called "Noozles." Let me be clear: I love this show. There is not a day that goes by that I want to get this show on DVD; however, it just doesn't look like it will ever happen. This was both a children's show and a scifi all in one. It was about two trans-dimentional koalas who travel to our world and make friends with a young girl. In the presence of adults, they turn into plush animals, and the girl can bring them to life by pressing her nose against theirs. They have strange magical powers that are indigenous to their race, and sometimes they would take the girl to their world which was really, REALLY strange. I'm talking "Alice in Wonderland" strange! It was brilliant, and I--to this very day--think fondly of it.

In 1981, the world was introduced to "The Kwicky Koala Show." This was weirdly a Hanna-Barbera show done by Tex Avery. It is very similar to his Droopy cartoons. Kwicky Koala is a very slow-speaking creatures that constantly outwits a wolf by being able to run away super fast. It's cute! Sadly, Tex died during this project and it only produced 16 episodes.

There are more--I assure you--but I am leaving you with my favorites. Koalas are really well-loved. Despite the fact they are quite stupid, they are cute, and in this world, being cute is enough to save you from extinction. For me, I see them as lazy good-for-nothings, and I would write them that way. They seem to be competing with sloths for who can sleep longer. I have not actually written a koala into a story yet, but believe me, I am quite capable of doing so.

Whatever you think of the koala, they are quite amusing. It is fun to look at them hanging around their tree... for a little bit, anyways. I mean--after all--we can't just stand there and watch them sleep all day. We have things to do in this life. Let us strive to be better than the koala. Let us try and be smarter as well. Just remember that the difference between humans and the koala is that the koala can't help it.

Thank you for reading this blog. If you enjoyed it, you can comment below, or you can email me at tooie@tooiekangaroo.com. Zzzz.