Fairy Tale Spotlight: Our Divine Comedy, Pt. 23

In the beginning, the beginning was the beginning. It began in the beginning, was the beginning, and continued eternally as the beginning. "I am here to be baptized," said Jesus.

John was confused. He could only stare at this man before him as they stood within the water. "What?" he soon said. "Seriously?"

"Yes, John," replied Jesus.

"Now he's just putting words in his mouth," said God as he looked away from the computer.

Chris walked up and said, "The real thing is happening right over there, God." He pointed back at the table.

"I'm busy right now, Cory. Besides, I have like thirty of these blogs left to read. Really fascinating stuff too. Did you know that there is some idiot in the year 2018 that thinks I'm a crazy asshat?" Chris was unusually silent. God stared at him until his eyes formed into slits. "You can disagree with him anytime, Fauntleroy."

Chris sighed and simply said, "Eeehaw."

"Close enough. Now, what you might find very interesting about this particular blogger is that he and Lucifer had a little argument over a chat."

"He did?" asked Chris with some surprise.

"It's all speculative, of course." He looked at Chris for a moment. "Eh. Speculative is a word that means 'To pull out of ones anal region.' Ha! Remember that time I pulled that star out of your butt?"

"Damn, that hurt," frowned Chris as he rubbed his rear.

"Haha! Am I great at party tricks or what?! Anyways here's the chat, Xavier. Have a look. But hurry up because your new shipment of organic hay is about to arrive."

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Lucifer: Did you know that the things that you are doing are blasphemous?

TK: How so?

Lucifer: You are besmirching the name of the Holy Father with this blog. You are purposely making him look like an idiot.

TK: I'm writing a comedy.

Lucifer: But its a comedy that you believe. You even seem to believe that he reads your blog.

TK: I am assuming that, since the Circle connects to all points of the Line, that he has the ability to keep track of my blog at the very same time that he is dealing with the John the Baptist incident. I am also concluding that, since he is God, that his technology is AT LEAST up to par with the mid 2000's... hence the computer.

Lucifer: None of this is in the Bible. People will read your blog and assume that you are a rebellious, anti-religious heathen with his own agendas.

TK: You don't understand my agenda.

Lucifer: Enlighten me.

TK: I woke up one day and realized what this world was and why it was. And I could not help but laugh. Much of it is funny. There is serious stuff too, but I could not help but laugh at the silliness of it all. And most importantly, I knew that it was all real. Also, Lucifer, I am not against the Bible and religion. Much of what I am doing is a validation of all the things that are taught in church. I am merely being extremely irreverent about it.

Lucifer: Many could consider that to be a failing.

TK: I am not responsible for anyone but myself. I judge myself.

Lucifer: And you seem to judge God as well.

TK: No mortal man can judge God. No man has the perspective needed to do it.

Lucifer: Yet you dare to judge him and his ways.

TK: I am merely trying to relay something I saw in a vision. I am trying to show how funny it was.

Lucifer: Your blog is filled with lies.

TK: My blog is filled with jokes. The jokes are my own and I find them funny. I find the universe funny. I find that God himself is funny. But those are subjective feelings. People never bother to identify with God. They never seem to want to see the world from his perspective. They never seem to care about his feelings. They dismiss his mistakes as genius (not that they can do anything about it anyways). The universe in their eyes are a bit too simplistic and closed off. They cannot relate to the universe in this way.

Lucifer: So you create fiction in order to relate to a falsehood.

TK: I create satire based on what I believe is true.

Lucifer: All the while blaspheming the Holy Father.

TK: I am a storyteller. I saw these things in a vision.

Lucifer: You are a sinner.

TK: For writing this blog?

Lucifer: Yes, and you should be ashamed.

TK: I am not ashamed, but I may be insane. I am not fond of being sensible. I just want to put out what I see for the world to see. If I am to be judged, then so judge me. If I am to be punished, then so punish me. I can only be who I am. If I am driven to do something, then I feel that I must do it.

Lucifer: You also judged me.

TK: There's a reason for that.

Lucifer: Name it.

TK: We are the same. We are both first tier creations of God. We have the same perspective. I have judged you and called you, not only evil, but also batshit crazy. In your very first act as God's most beautiful angel, you created communism. You brought a negative into existence and have been decreasing its value ever since. Good job. By the way, that was sarcasm.

Lucifer: You'll learn someday. You are not only a sinner but quite an immoral, little brat. All humans will learn the truth someday. I will show them. And you, TK, shall end up alone and forgotten by everyone because you simply did not conform to the world the way you should have. Goodbye.

TK: Fine, bye.

-----

Chris cocked his head as he read the blog. He whispered to himself, "Wait... Do I know this guy?"

"Great news!" shouted God. "The organic hay arrived! Strap on your feedbag, Barny!" To be continued.

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