Fairy Tale Spotlight: The Thing that Couldn't Die

[Some spoilers coming up.]

The Thing that Couldn't Die is a black and white movie from 1958 that I recently watched. I watch a lot of old movies. I usually regret it, but not this time. Not entirely. It was worth my time for the most part. Let me tell you why.

The filmmakers were real big in taking supernatural and occult phenomenon and happily making them the centerpiece of their movie. You had a woman with psychic powers who accidentally finds an old lost box buried in the ground by none other than Sir Francis Drake. The box included the head of a wizard from, what I believe was, the American colonial period. But get this: the head ain't dead.

The horror element of the film comes from how this magical head uses his powers to manipulate the poor people at a ranch to restore him to his former glory and then... be evil a lot, I guess. I mean it was very clear that he was evil. I'm just sure what his actual end game was.

He was also very persuasive. The wizard, who was called Gideon Drew, had hypnotic abilities and was fairly easily able to bring certain people into his allegiance. Once in his allegiance, their personalities would shift to a darker, more... uh... evil sort of theme. I mean... just so you know whose side they were on now. It certainly helped me.

The funny thing about who the wizard picked to hypnotize was that it was limited to either men with mental disorders... or women. Any women. Even nice, friendly, kind-hearted ones. Both were fantastically easy for him to control. Oh, and if you were a good girl who cared about people, prepare to drop all that and go full on bad girl. Drop that blue dress for a black one! This is how Gideon likes his women!

Speaking of women, this movie has some great moments of psudo-lesbianism. When the girls started to get afraid, they... um... just... sort of... started sleeping together. In fact, some of the lines they shared made them almost sound like a married couple. I don't know if this was intended but I was not complaining. This may have actually been the best part of the film!

Some aspects of the film were dumb. I won't tell you the specifics, but the wizard's weakness was a bit too overpowered. It was as if Superman's weakness was a spoon. Like Superman can do anything, but there are spoons everywhere so he's pretty much screwed wherever he goes. There's not much point to give someone power if they are too easily destroyed in fiction. Lessons learned.

Also the reason Gideon can't die felt a bit forced. Apparently the guys who beheaded him really hated him so much that they punished him by making him live forever with his head separated from his body. I mean... I know that sounds terrible and all... but it also opened up the entire plot of this movie with him trying to come back in the modern era. Wouldn't have killing him be better all around? You get your revenge and he doesn't come back. Can't let God have a go at him?

Wait, is this movie worth it? Actually yes. You should see it. Why? There was a scene where one girl asked the other girl when she was coming to bed. AS IN WITH HER! And I guess the movie is pretty entertaining all around despite all the nitpicking flaws it has. It was fun. And the wizard was genuinely creepy. No, really. He was. There is something about a disembodied head, moving his lips with no words coming out, as he somehow takes over the minds of helpless women. Yes. Yes, I liked this movie.

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