Fairy Tale Spotlight: Exodus [Book Review]

Here we have Exodus, the second book of the Holy Bible. Also written by Moses, but this is a bit stranger, since the book has everything to do with him and his brother Aaron. I was a bit apprehensive about this one because I have always had fits of hilarious anguish whenever I think about the "golden calf incident." I figured since I already dealt with it in my own book "Our Divine Comedy" that I would be in a better mental state to deal with it. Boy was I wrong!

The problem with reading this book is that you deal with the plagues and the miracles of God pertaining to the Egyptians and the Israelites in a very slow, meted out, and nuanced manner. Putting myself through that only to land on the golden calf scene seriously hurts. I honestly am embarrassed to be apart of the same human race as the ridiculous people who perpetrated the act. It was not just sinful; it was downright stupid. Actually stupid does not even do it justice. There isn't even a word in existence to describe the sheer massive level of stupidity those people showed.

But let's please just move on before I have an aneurism.

Interesting moments of note were when God noticed the golden calf situation. The book suggests very heavily that God was having evil thoughts concerning things he wanted to do to the Israelites in his anger. Moses begs god to repent of his evil thoughts, and God is apparently convinced to do this. This seems kind of weird to think of God having evil thoughts and repenting of them, but please understand that all things came from God, both good and evil. Satan would have never existed but for him. And even so, all God does is righteous... even if its evil. That's just how it works.

Damn it. I'm still talking about the golden calf scene.

Oh, and note that Aaron's brother built the golden calf! He did it because the Israelites had likely formed up into a mob and scared the crap out of him. Notice that God never held the building of the calf against him. Aaron actually became one of the priests of the tabernacle.

Still talking about the golden calf...

A lot of people criticize Moses for having a bad temper. Once he convinced God not to do evil things to His people, he pretty much goes down and forces them to eat the calf, ground up into powder. Hilarious! I like this guy! Just think about the little man-children he had to deal with. I don't blame him, and I doubt God did either. Heck, God probably thought it was hilarious.

My biggest criticism of Exodus--yes, I can do that--is that there is this awful redundancy having to do with the building of the tabernacle and all things related to it. I don't mind hearing how it is to be made, but don't tell me twice. The second half of the book is really just them going over the details of its building a second time while it was legitimately being built. It was unneeded fluff. All Moses had to do was say that the things were built according to God's exact specifications. Reading through it all again was boring, and I got literally nothing out of it.

The first half of the book is where all the action is. And then there's the golden calf thing. Yeah... That there... That was a thing that happened. It happened, and it's all your fault. You humans. You're all a bunch of dumbasses. Great job there. Yeah.

I recommend the book.

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