Decessus and the Jerboa

"Decessus and the Jerboa" A fable by T.K. Wade

A jerboa visited a graveyard to rebuke the death god, Decessus. “I will live long and not fall by your hands, for I do not believe in you.” Decessus replied much to the astonishment of the jerboa, “Believe in me or not, when your time comes, you and I shall meet.”

-Author Notes-
This fable was written as a part of what I call my "Tooth and Tail" universe where rodents are the people of the world. Decessus is the notorious god of death in this world. Jerboas are a type of rodent with a cute puff at the end of their tail. In this world, jerboas tend to have a very high opinion of themselves and often do not even acknowledge the gods. The exception is for their own god who is only known as The Great Jerboa. Interesting note: The Great Jerboa is actually just another god called Irritum--being the god of vanity. He is acknowledged by all other rodents and is mainly detested.

This fable is really written to denote the worthless vanity of the jerboas, as well as how the act of ignoring a god does not negate his existence. Thus the folly of the jerboa.

Mustelidae Spotlight: Tayra

This week, we have an interesting Musty to talk about. The Tayra [pronounced tie-rah] is a very unusual creature found primarily in the Americas. It is really the only Musty of its kind and does not have any cousins within its genus; although, there are a number of subspecies. It's just one big tayra family!

Tayras are very long and limber musties. I can actually imagine them eating their own tails twice over from how they can curl up into a perfect circle. They run about 28 inches in length from head to tail, and please understand that this tail is usually about 18 inches long--and quite bushy too! Long and flexible--what more could you want in a musty?!

Now... as you may remember from some of my other blogs, the great majority of these creatures are burrowers. I suppose that is how most people think of them as well. Weasels, stoats, and martens all love to dig underground and keep hidden until they are ready to go out and hunt. Where tayras do burrow now and then, that is not entirely what they are into. This creature actually loves to climb trees and sometimes even live in them.

The tayra has these fascinating short, curved claws which are not really all that great for digging. In reality, they are for climbing and running. Yes, you heard me. They are great runners! So... instead of being sneaky, these guys can actually chase their prey down--even if its straight up a tree!

A sort of comical thing about these guys is that they have a very wrinkly face. South American natives often refer to the tayra as a "cabeza del viejo" which literally translates into "old man head." Poor little guys! I actually don't think its that bad. How do you feel about it?

Tayras don't really exist in fiction. Hey, it happens. Sometimes, we just need to help the little guys out. I actually really like these musties, and despite them being hardcore predators, I do not see them as being ill-tempered as most musties tend to be. Tayras are actually very friendly when domesticated. They are playful and active which is not always the case with creatures like this.

If I were to create characters based on the tayra, I would make them lighthearted rouges. They are agile, dexterous, swift-of-foot, and generally very friendly with their peers. I think this musty creates a nice contrast to all those many species that tend to be sneaky and depend upon stealth to capture their prey. Here is one who dances about--flexibly avoiding harm--and if he has to, he can chase someone down. I think it would be fun to see this guy in action!

The tayra may not be a well-known creature, but it is certainly not one to dismiss. I have found that there are a lot of animals out there that could do with a little help getting noticed. I suppose that is why I call this blog a spotlight.

Thank you for reading this blog. If you enjoyed it, you can comment below, or you can email me at tooie@tooiekangaroo.com. Thanks!

"The Mysterious Cave" has been published on Smashwords!

Awesome news! "Adventures in Cottontail Pines: The Mysterious Cave" is available FREE OF CHARGE on Smashwords! It can be downloaded in multiple formats at: 

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/571924

Here is a synopsis:

Welcome to the magical town of Cottontail Pines, where animals talk, and there is always a friend around the next corner. In this story called “The Mysterious Cave,” Flopsy the bunny loses her special flower outside of the town’s border and convinces Blacky the grumpy skunk to help her find it. Unfortunately, the evil wolf, Fang, catches them out in the open and chases them into a cave. But this cavern is not as ordinary as you might think. In fact, the two animals might just find something magical! Find out what happens in this exciting and cute children’s story by T.K. Wade!

Enjoy!

The Mouse and the Rat

"The Mouse and the Rat" A fable by T.K. Wade

While gnawing on a delicious seed, a mouse noticed a rat scurrying around nearby. Wanting to give him a piece of his mind, he approached the rat and said, “You rats are disgusting. You should be more civil like us mice.” The rat smiled and thanked the mouse for his advice before promptly devouring him.

Mustelidae Spotlight: Skunk

Now, here is a musty that I am sure you have heard of. The skunk is forever scent-nonimous with bad smells. Where the ferret just smells bad, the skunk has the frightening ability to pass on that trait to their enemies. Without getting too far ahead of myself, let's talk in more detail about the wonderful world of skunks.

Skunks are omnivores who enjoy a good walk through the forest. They pretty much go where they please, and don't worry too much about predators. Skunks are burrowers, and similar to their walking habits, they make their home anywhere they deem advantageous. I like this about skunks. It's not so much they are are defiant, but that they are just confident that no one would dare mess with them.

Skunks have a very cute stride. They walk kind of like a cat wearing baggy pants. Their tail bobs about this way and that which probably should act like a little waving warning flag to those who happen upon them. I've heard their personalities are very catlike. Some people have domesticated them for this reason. They are very independent and most often friendly as long as they are being fed on time.

Unlike what is often scene in cartoons, skunks don't carry their stink with them; although, I am sure they probably don't smell like flowers. Right under their iconic racing-striped tails, the skunks posses two anal scent glands that can fire off a rather nasty mixture of sulfur-containing chemicals such as thiols. The result of this is a smell that is so horrible and long lasting, it will entirely ruin the predatory ambitions of any animal attempting to kill the skunk. I have heard that a bath of tomato juice is the only way to relieve you of the smell, but this is just not true. It simply masks the scent temporarily.

The skunk is no stranger to fiction. In general terms, skunks were often shown in cartoons as cute but temperamental creatures who--although small--were to be feared for their terrible ability. In an old Uncle Remus story, a skunk wanted to stay with a bear in his cave to get out of the cold, but the bear would not let him for lack of space. Undaunted, the skunk explained that he was perfectly capable of making space, and after entering, he easily accomplished the task by driving the bear out. This is how the more generic skunks were commonly portrayed; however, the more mainstream skunks had an interesting variety as far as their personal temperaments.

In the Disney film "Bambi," the skunk known as Flower was anything but irritable. He was actually very shy and sweet. I dare anyone to watch this skunk in action and have anything but love for the little cutie! In the newspaper comic "Pogo," there was a very pretty french skunk known as Miz Ma'm'selle Hepzibah. I REALLY liked her as a feminine character. I never understood why she always courted with Porky Pine--being that he was such a grumpy person. Maybe, she wanted to bring out the best in him.

One show that I really enjoyed watching was called Skunk Fu. The main character, who was just called Skunk, was very eager and self-obsessed while being trained in the martial arts. His ego was often the cause of much of trouble in each episode, and he was usually tasked with cleaning up the very mess he made. I really like this character. The show had a great run, but it doesn't seem like anybody really talks about it anymore.

And now, I must tell you about a certain skunk that I have always been scent-a-mental about. Pepe le Pew! By far, this is my favorite cartoon character of all time. I also own every episode on DVD. I love this guy! He's a french skunk who continually falls in love with a poor cat after having a white paint mishap. Pepe is cute, passionate, and he has no idea what the word "no" means. When he falls in love, it's do or die! If it wasn't for that terrible smell coming from his rear, I don't think any girl could resist his charm.

In the show "Tiny Toons," there was a feminine version of Pepe Le Pew. She was a purple skunk by the name Fifi La Fume. Fifi was a girl who lived in a toxic waste dump; although, I don't think she really noticed how bad the smell was given she had her own problems in that area. She had some self-worth issues and was always looking for someone to be her boyfriend. Interestingly, she ended up with Hampton the pig who was a clean freak. I have always wondered abut this pairing but have not yet decided on its appropriateness.

Wow, look at all those famous skunks! I barely have time left for my own ideas! I personally already have a skunk in my published fiction. In my "Adventures in Cottontail Pines" books, I created a very grumpy skunk named Blacky. He was the local pessimist and always tended to make a big stink about everything. Get it?! I enjoy his character because he allows me to express a more selfish side which we sometimes see in children. That said, there is no doubt that he is still a good person at heart.

I love skunks. I have ALWAYS loved skunks. No matter how they are written into fiction, they are still amusing to us all. And besides, how awesome are those racing stripes on their tails?! Because they have made a name for themselves with their infamous tail spray, we will likely never be rid of them in popular fiction. And I am just fine with that!

Thank you for reading this blog. If you enjoyed it, you can comment below, or you can email me at tooie@tooiekangaroo.com. Oo la la!

To Have and Hold: A Poem of Rats

“To Have and Hold: A Poem of Rats” by T.K. Wade

We met in a crowded cage,

on a completely random day.

I never saw it coming.

He met me quite by chance,

with a handsome sneaky glance,

and asked, “Where are we to be going?”

“Going?” asked I then,

for I did not understand.

I had never seen him before.

He said, “Let me show you pleasures,

of great, unheard of measures–

conversed of only in lore.”

The quick well-spoken kind,

is not so easy to find,

and I found it hard to resist.

Although, I tried to flee,

so that I might soon be set free,

he caught me and said, “I must insist!”

When I asked him what he meant–

all my energy almost spent–

not to mention that I really didn’t care.

He peered right in my eyes,

and took me well-aside,

and this is what he had to share:

“I need you.

I want you.

I crave you in ways untold.

Come with me.

Play with me.

Only you do I wish to have and hold.”

The words Oh! seemed sincere,

and I don’t think I could hear,

all the alarms that told me not to go.

There was no way to resist,

those red eyes and with a kiss,

I had soon become a girl with a beau.

But one day I did see him–

I’m fairly sure I saw him–

in the arms of another female rat.

At first, I wasn’t sure,

for I thought him to be pure,

so I dismissed it as a simple misjudged fact.

But then there came a day,

that surely got right in my way.

This rat was seen once more with her.

And if there was any thought.

that my fears were but for naught,

he spoke these words as he stroked her velvet fur:

“I need you.

I want you.

I crave you in ways untold.

Come with me.

Play with me.

Only you do I wish to have and hold.”

And now I want him dead,

I want to crush his little head,

and never will the world bemoan him.

I entirely despise

his beady little eyes.

I wish to make him pay for his sins.

And if I get the chance,

to stab him with a lance,

he will have gotten off too easy.

For all the grief he’s caused,

I will likely never pause,

and I won’t be the least… bit… queasy.

I hate him.

I despise him.

I wish him suffering untold.

Break him.

Kill him.

Only him do I wish to have and hold.

Mustelidae Spotlight: Mink

When I think of a mink, the term sounds distinctively feminine. In the dictionary--when not referring to the species of musty--the word is often used to describe a woman with very extravagant tastes. I was wondering why it was like this, so I read some information about the creature, but still found very little about them that screamed female; however, the feminine term is still very much in common use. Sometimes research is rough on me, but I did find some things that may explain it.

The mink is a mostly aquatic musty with brown fur. You almost always find them around water. In fact, they almost never roam away from the water for any reason. They tend to follow river ways looking for fish and other sea life to eat. As loyal to water as these animals are, you might be surprised to hear what their favorite food is--rabbits. Yeah, I didn't understand that either. It seems to me there might have been a bit of confusion on the part of the mink.

Anyways, I did find something really interesting about their behavior. The male mink absolutely hates sharing a space with another male. No really, if they see another male walk into his territory, IT'S ON! They'll be blood and teeth all over the place! However, if the same male's territory is invaded by a female mink, well... he might just let it pass. And wait! It's not because he wants a girlfriend, he just chooses to tolerate her. This got me thinking though: There really must be something about the female.

 Maybe, it really is art imitating life. I know for a fact that all minks have an ill temperament, but for some reason, the girls get a pass. It's like no matter how annoying she is, the guy just can't say no... but... I get the feeling that he really wants to. Isn't that interesting? Maybe, if they ended up getting hitched, he'd be forced to spend all his money on her extravagant tastes, but then I may not be talking about the musty anymore.

I am happy to say that there is a mink in fiction, and might I remark, a very lovely one. Her name is Minerva Mink from the hit 90's TV show "Animaniacs." Despite the fact that this was a children's show, this anthropomorphic, white mink was clearly a sex symbol. She was drawn as a shapely female, she was vain, and she had very extravagant tastes--even in men. What was rather amusing was how all the other animals of the forest would ogle her leading to some very annoyed wives. This sort of imagery was actually a common occurrence in "Animaniacs," and I always found it very amusing. Despite only having two episodes to her name, I still hear people fondly talk about Minerva Mink to this very day.

If I wanted to base my own stuff after the real animal, I would actually make them bad-tempered fishermen, but the temptation to explore their females in fiction is much too great. Clearly, there is something subtle but still very strong about their females. They seem to have a magic to them despite being fairly unsociable. But think very carefully before you tie that knot. You may end up entirely under her power.

Thank you for reading my blog! If you enjoyed it, you can comment below, or you can email me at tooie@tooiekangaroo.com. See ya!

The Meeting: Part Three (Adults only please.)

"The Meeting, Part Three" by T.K. Wade (Adults only please.)

Frieda stepped up to the three mice and asked, “You boys having a good time tonight?”

They all expressed their gratitude by opening their money bags and paying her at that very moment. Levin could not help but remark, “Just seeing such beauty made the night worthwhile!”

She chuckled. “I hope you don’t plan on using that line instead of a tip.”

Jonas laid down his piece of gold and said, “The night had been wonderful, Miss Frieda. We will not be bothering you much longer. The sun has set, and we will soon be off to our respective homes.”

Frieda shrugged and took their money. “You boys can stay a bit longer. Good conversation has always been welcome at the Cedardale Inn.”

Richard nodded. “Thank you, Frieda. We will leave shortly.”

The pretty mouse smiled and stepped away from the three. Levin faced the ex-soldier and asked, “And what story does the fighter have to tell before this evening comes to an end?”

Richard answered, “You know, there has been a lot of talk about rats at this table tonight. It seems that, by and large, the rodents that Muridae always seems to be at odds with are rats, and to a great existent, this is true. Mice, although they are known to go astray from time to time, generally stay out of trouble. A lot of mice believe in fate, and we pray and hope for good things to come in our lives.

“Now, a jerboa would tell you they are even more resistant to the evil ways of some rats that we have all heard of, but I tell you that it is even more likely for them. Rats may get along best with one another, but they still make a large effort to get along with other rodents, at least the civil ones. Jerboas, however, generally make an effort to keep away from others. I mean, we’ve all heard about the rivalry between the jerboas and rats, but what some people don’t take notice to is that this rivalry is also against us for the sole reason that we are not jerboas.”

Levin nodded. “I figured as much.”

Jonas seemed rather interested and added, “The jerboa god is known as the Great Jerboa. He does not even have a name. I sometimes suspect that this particular god does not actually exist. However, if he does, it would be a god of pure vanity. The jerboas generally do not even believe in the existence of the other gods.”

Richard began rubbing his head and released a long sigh. “One of my first assignments was as a guard for the town of Clawstone. This was primarily a rat community, but it was small at the time and needed some protection. The king figured that with as many rats that they had, it would grow in a matter of a few years, and I would no longer be needed.

“I remember that we had a problem of rats leaving for matters of trade, and they would not come back. Their family would go after them, and would return with absolutely no answers. You see, there was another town, a good hare’s ride away, which was a quaint little jerboa community with a very strong religious background. And yes, as Jonas pointed out, they worshiped the Great Jerboa.

“I saw it as my personal duty to get to the bottom of this, so I left to visit this town, which was apparently called Nestle. As soon as I arrived, I felt that something was just off. I can’t explain it. I didn’t even talk to anyone before I felt it.”

Levin asked, “What did it feel like?”

“It felt like walking into a potential ambush. It’s as if I could feel everyone in the town just waiting for the right moment to kill me. I’ve only felt that on the battlefield, never in a town, and here it looked like just a peaceful place; everyone seemed to be going about their business like you’d expect.”

Jonas just blinked and said, “That sounds very strange.”

Richard nodded with a confirming chuckle. “Yes, very. I went about asking my questions. Most of the townspeople acted as if they had no idea who those rats were. Some said they had seen them, but they had already left. What really surprised me, though, was the many who were out rightly trying to convince me that this was nothing to fret over. Levin, Jonas, I did not want to be there anymore. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong, and I started to fear for my own safety.”

Levin was on the edge of his seat. “What did you do?!”

“I left. I returned to Clawstone and told them what I experience. I then sent out a messenger to Rodopolis requesting a large group of soldier to accompany me back to Nestle. My request was granted, and in two weeks, I had reinforcements of about fifty men, mostly rats. I took them back with the purpose of inspecting the town for signs of the missing rats. I don’t regret this decision for a moment, because as soon as we were in yelling distance of Nestle, we were struck by a slew of arrows, poorly aimed, by the way.”

The two other mice were just in awe of his story. Levin exclaimed, “My… gods!”

“The city did not have a wall. None of its guards had been appointed by Rodopolis. I made the decision to storm Nestle and get to the bottom of this mess. Shields went up, swords were drawn, and a fight ensued. It was not long before Jerboa blood was spilt. I think this was probably one of the first real battles that I had ever been in. The problem about this battle was that… it wasn’t a very good one.”

Jonas queried, “Why? What was wrong with it?”

Richard was silent for a moment as he rubbed his temple. He answered with a question, “How many jerboas do you know of that serve as soldiers?”

Both Levin and Jonas began to laugh. Richard smiled and could not help but chuckle as well. He said, “They even outnumbered us. That town had to be over two thousand; we were fifty! We stomped their precious little arses into the dirt!”

Levin asked, “You didn’t kill all of them, did you?”

“No, at some point, they figured out what they were up against and surrendered. We did our investigation and found that they had been killing both rats and mice that had visited their town, which is shameful of them because they still had no problem trading with other towns when it suited them.

“We gathered up those responsible and they were transported back to Rodopolis to be tried. Real guards were then posted in Nestle to make sure the town did not fall back into their old ways. They are still there to this day.”

The other mice clapped and Levin shouted, “Serves them right! Great tale, Richard!”

Jonas added, “Jerboas really can be as bad as rats sometime, if not worse. I think some jerboas still feel like the town of Nestle did, but I suppose after that incident, they’d think twice.”

Richard nodded. “Exactly.”

Levin yawned with a smile. “Well I’d say this evening has been quite productive!”

Jonas agreed, “Yes, looking forward to next week. It has been a splendid meeting.”

As the three mice stood from the table, Richard patted them both on the back and said, “You two take care. I had fun.” The three mice said their goodbyes and left for their respective homes in Cedardale.

-Glossary-

Murridae: Kingdom ruled by mice and populated by mice, rats, and jerboas.

Jerboa: A rodent with a long tail with a poof at the end.

Nestle: The great city of jerboas within Murridae. It is built like a great tower towards the sky.

Great Jerboa: Jerboas have a monotheistic religion. They only believe in one god who looks just like them and represents grace above all things. Disbelievers call this god Irritum, the god of vanity.

Clawstone: A city of rats within Murridae.

Rodopolis: The capitol city of Murridae where the king resides. It is the largest city in all the country.

Cedardale: A central village within Murridae. It is a stopping place for many travelers. Well-known for its tavern.

Mustelidae Spotlight: Sable

Hey! Big surprise! I'm currently making notes out to write a story about musties! The main reason I am doing this is because I really have a terrible time finding other fiction of these guys. If you want something done, you got to do it yourself.

There really are a lot of musty breeds out there that need to be spotlighted, but it is rather frustrating to be one of the few people bringing them up. Take for instance the sable. No! Not the wrestler! The musty!

Sables are a drop-off breed of the marten, but you can be sure they don't get along with each other very well. The sable has a real attitude problem and is very territorial. In fact, I read that they are known for eating up any other musties who get in their way. Watch out, weasels, that sable has blood in his eyes!

Humans spend quite a lot of time killing them off, but it isn't just because the sable lacks good friendship skills. Apparently, their fur is highly prized around the world. In fact, half of the research articles I found of sables was about fur collection. But don't worry, this critter isn't anywhere near endangered.

The only time I saw sables in fiction was in the comic book series called "Mouse Guard." They were considered extremely dangerous--feral eating machines that did not care what they were putting into their belly. As a matter of fact, they loved to go after porcupines not caring if the quills stuck into them or not. You can imagine being a mouse and encountering this beast.

In the story I am currently working on, I have the sables in a feud with the pine martens--a feud that has been going on for many lifetime. The sables tend to constantly invade territory, and the pine martens just want to be left alone. It would take a great stoat empire to bring these two peoples under control, but you can imagine how annoying it will be to babysit them as these two will still be inclined to argue.

The thing I like about sables is their never-ending lust to feed and kill. Where most other musties tend to be more cognitive in their world-dealings, sables strike out for what they want and generally come out with blood on their teeth, This places them in a very dark corner of mustelidae.

Thank you for reading this blog! If you enjoyed it, you can comment below, or you can email me at tooie@tooiekangaroo.com. Snarl!