Wednesday, December 29, 2021

Fairy Tale Spotlight: Ezekiel [Book Review]

"Ezekiel" is the twenty-sixth book of the "Holy Bible," and it was written by Ezekiel himself. I always like it when that happens. I have a personal fascination about people who write their own stuff. I like to critique their writing styles. As silly as it sounds, I especially like critiquing writers of the Bible. I feel like I am doing something both wrong and right at the same time. It makes me giggle a little. Sorry.

"Ezekiel" is the personal prophesy of one of the "doom and gloom" prophets of the Old Testament that speaks of the fall of Israel at the hands of Babylon. Like in "Jeremiah," I celebrated this because they totally had it coming. Never in my life have I seen people so stupid... Actually I've seen them other places too... sometimes in modern day.

The thing that sets "Ezekiel" apart from other prophets is his very peculiar visions of cherubim. They are these strange 4-faced creatures that attend to God personally. They look so strange that Ezekiel stumbles over himself trying so very hard to make sure that the description is correct. A lot of people struggle to imagine a proper picture of what he saw, and I guess that means that it is just something so alien that... I guess you just had to be there.

It was very clear from the writing of this book that Ezekiel was seeing a vision. This means that he was not actually in the presence of these alien creatures but merely seeing them from wherever he happened to be here on planet Earth. God chose to let him see a number of things which included an exceedingly boring man made of brass. (More on that later.) There was also a vividly described field of skeletons that have all of there muscles, sinews, and skin slowly reform on them until all the people were revived. This was a parable prophesying the return of the Jews, but damn did it sound creepy! Like awesome in its creepiness! There were some top notch CGI effects used in that one!

The writing of "Ezekiel" is extremely precise even to the point of massive redundancies. It was not as bad as Moses, but I could tell that it was very important to the prophet to make sure everything was as accurate as possible. Many of his sentences have included redundancies as a means to make things ultra clear, and I'll give him credit for doing that. There is also an awesome repetition of "And they shall know that I am the Lord!" It solidifies the anger of God towards these idiots that just won't stop doing the horrible, stupid things that they are doing.

On the latter note, God's ire has pretty much topped off. Ezekiel seems to be the conduit for his anger. I can imagine the man did a lot of yelling. I bet he had some terrifying eyes just to make God's point. It would have interesting to hear his actual voice. I bet he sounded like Alex Jones.

As to the man of brass, he introduces the reader to the final section of the book which is a redo of the Tabernacle dimensions and the laws concerning sacrifice. I had to go through all this twice in the books of Moses, and I really did not need to go through it a third time. It was a pain to read and I was glad when it was over. No real ending to this book. It just stops, and I was glad when it was finally over. All the good stuff in this book is on the first half. The final part of this book is extremely boring and redundant, although that was not the fault of the author at all. It's just a mere fact for someone reading the Bible as a whole.

All said, I do actually recommend "Ezekiel." The first half is rife with strange imagery. And the anger of God is actually rather fun and full of masculine energy. But after you get to the man of brass, I wouldn't blame you if you just moved on. Unless you have an interest in ancient carpentry, there's nothing really here for anyone.

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6 comments:

  1. Your objective critique of the Bible is refreshing. It is sincerity. Those who review it refusing to question it or adamant to denounce it are not to be trusted.

    Crazy Ezekiel! I laughed when you compared him to Alex Jones. Interesting that he was given visions rather than made actual witness, yet his mind was still overwhelmed.

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    1. Yes, he probably did sound like that. It fits with the writings.

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  2. The visions of Ezekiel are an interesting read, just imagine trying to describe the divine without any true reference yea his mind was blown. I agree he would be yelling a lot, funny now I would be disappointed if he didn't sound like Alex Jones haha.

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  3. Accuracy is essential to prophecy. It is important to not just give a general feel, but to go into specifics. For when it comes to pass, the details will proclaim the divine authorship.

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    1. Oh, I have no doubt it will make sense later. Even so, we kinda still have the ability to make some clever assumptions about it.

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