Fairy Tale Spotlight: The Uncanny Collared Rat

Those of you who have owned some of the more basic pets may not understand the situation of which I find myself in. Indeed, there are dogs and cats who are among the most basic of animals that keep us company. And I should say that there are those who keep the type of the rodent variety, ie. the mouse, rat, or miscellaneous gerbil. One of the latter belongs to me, but he is of the uncanny sort of rat and I am here to explain why.

I called him Corky the Collared Rat. I capitalize his entire identity because he seems to me to be more than the commonplace variety rodent. There is a spark of yearning in those eyes when he looks into mine. And, indeed, he does look into my eyes quite much. It's a sort of look that speaks of untethered eagerness with a foundation of love. This recipe is garnished with the ever minute dash of what may perhaps be sentience, but I could never be perfectly sure.

Yes, I did collar him. It's a bit more than a ring around the neck, but also extends to a sort of harness that encompasses his entire body, yet the collar is quite present and seems to have given him a variety of pride, I suppose. He stares at me with maw agape and seems to be thinking words that I cannot hear. If I were to interpret the silence, I fancy words such as, "I'd do anything for you, master."

To this I would ask, "Why would you do anything for me, Corky?"

And he would perhaps reply, "Because you gave me this beautiful collar. This collar makes me love you more than anything."

In what may have been a self-induced stupor, I heard these words within the silence of my own mind. I pass him his tiny meal, and my imagination fills with humble thanks that still seem to originate from Corky's quiet. A sort of dedication of feeling strikes me when I peer down at him. I often do it closely. I look into those red orbs and wonder if the rat notices as he feeds on these specially made pellets.

"Thank you," I think. "Thank you for this wonderful food," I think again. And as I think, I am certain they are really being thought by Corky himself.

I sleep alone at night. I keep Corky in what was originally intended as a cage for birds. He spends much of his time crawling about the golden structure admiring his royal entrapments. "Like a king," I once thought he told me. "I live like a king." And I suppose he must have loved it while I was sleeping.

But then I began to notice that he was looking at me from across my room. Upon opening my eyes at a chance, I saw the two red dots staring at me, and so I switched on a light. To my surprise, he was not there, for the light had put the rat's eyes away at the moment they had come about. It must have been my imagination, and, thinking that Corky had moved to the other side of the cage, I decided to go back to sleep.

Upon switching the light off, I soon began to realize that there was a presence quite near my head. The rise and fall of pillow was soon perceived. Movement was assured. I rose my hand to touch my lamp for a second time, before I heard my own thoughts speak to me with these words, "Oh, don't wake up on my account, master. I only wish to be near your wonderful head. I'll sleep much more soundly close to the one who gave me this gorgeous collar."

And just as I heard these thoughts, my arm bore the weight of a large stone. I remained in darkness as something furry pressed against my left ear. Breath became a labor, but there was nothing I could do but listen to my own thoughts tell me, "I love you, master. I love you more than myself. I'll never let you go. Never. Never. Never."

Upon waking the next day, I was alone. I found Corky sitting up quite pleased in his cage. As for the incident I experienced the night before, I do not know if it was real or simply a dream, but I have sat down to write about it regardless. Even as I do, I am being carefully watched and somehow loved by Corky. His dedication and conviction to love and serve me could be real, and, if it is, what could be the consequences if the wall that lies between animal and men becomes broken? And if not that, what possesses a rat to think with the brain of his possessor? These are questions that I have yet to answer.

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This blog was written on December 11, 2022.

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Fairy Tale Spotlight: S. [Book Review]

I'm so tired. Just... you have no idea how much work this book was. I need to take a break from novelty books after this.

"S." is a book written by Doug Dorst and published in 2013. The general concept of the book was given by J.J. Abrams. It is a novelty book in that it isn't constructed in the usual way. I'll explain.

The idea of "S." is that you come across a novel that originates from a library, and when you open it, you find that it is completely covered in notes written by two other people. The book itself is called "Ship of Theseus" and was written by a fictional author named V.M. Straka. Although it is stated in the copyright page that it was published in 1949, this is also a part of the fiction. Everything you see once you crack open the book is the work of Doug Dorst.

After trying to read both the book and the notes being sent back and forth by two people within the margins, I found that I couldn't do it. I had to read the chapter first and then go back and read through the notes as if it was a separate story. This book was work. It was like reading two books at one time that was the exact same book. It about drove me nuts, but I did it. It only took me forever. (It felt like forever.)

"Ship of Theseus" was not a bad story, but it never quite breaks out of the realm of the surreal. From beginning to end, it feels like a dream. It's about a man only named S. who, despite losing his memory, spends his entire life trying to stop an evil man from running the world through arms deals. It's a bit like trying to take down the illuminate. But S. doesn't ever feel like he is fully inside the reality where all this is happening. At times, it even feels like he is writing the story that he is in, and causing things to happen through his own words. I know this sounds bizarre, but I don't have any other way to explain it. The story just sort of works like this.

At other times, he does feel like he is there and dealing with it first hand, but it always slips back into the dreamlike world where it feels like he is more of a ghost. Don't get me wrong; I liked this a lot, only it took a lot out of me. The story was extremely exhausting.

The notes within the margins were interesting, but I never found them as poignant as the book in which they were written in. It was two college students that were researching the author of the book and going through a bit of intrigue in their own lives. It was interesting how they would often experience similar things as what was happening in the story at the time they would make an entry. Often times this would lead to them underlining something from the book and then commenting on how they were going though a similar thing.

The book also had... items included within the pages. Articles, photographs, postcards, complete written letters, and even a decoder wheel were included throughout the book. This was one of the most authentic aspects, in that everything looked and felt real. The different types of paper used, condition, and even certain stains were added to create the effect that this was a genuine thing you had run across out in the wild world of literature.

In fact, the whole book was designed to feel authentic. It feels like an old library book that had been tampered with far too many times. In that sense, this may be the most beautiful book ever made in the sense that an inordinate amount of work was accomplished to make it feel authentic. I love that. I really do. I think it's beautiful that so much love and effort was put into something like this. It is art and a great example of how art can be genuinely good.

But honestly, after it is all done, I really just want to move on to something simpler. I'm so tired of exploring the world of "S." that I just need to take a break from novelty books in general. But do I recommend it? Here we have a weird issue.

In brief, I do actually recommend it because of what it is, but that doesn't mean I particularly liked the story it had to tell. That is not to say that the story was bad, but it wasn't, in my opinion, as good as it could have been. It left me feeling only slightly satisfied, not because I was hungry for more, but because I just wanted a more definitive ending. In that, I am a little sad. But it is very easy for me to say that there is no other book so well produced as this one, and if you are ever willing to take that strange journey, you should. But if you'd rather keep to the more traditional works of literature out there (and there is no shame in that whatsoever) then Godspeed. "S." is not for the faint of heart. It is work from beginning to end, and I am happy that it exists in this world.

This blog was written on December 9, 2022.

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Fairy Tale Spotlight: The Book Hoard

My name is Jack. I'm a ferret. I am writing this now that I have come to the conclusion that I have... a problem. The location: the couch. Specifically, behind the couch. Originally, I had been putting things back there. Shiny things. Smelly things. You know, like keys, money, and used socks. The usual! But while I was roaming around my owner's library, something hit me. No, I am serious. Something actually hit me.

A book fell on my head and nearly killed me! I don't know where it came from. It was a direct hit, too. I was a little stunned but also completely on the defensive. I was noodling in various alpha tango loop-de-loop patterns in order to distract my enemy. I might have also had brain damage; I was never quite sure.

After making my way under a desk, I watched my attacker carefully. I'm not stupid. I know what a book is. It's a boring and dusty stationary object... AT LEAST I THOUGHT IT WAS! This thing pretty much deliberately tried to knock me out. Good thing I am so hard-headed. After a while of just staring at it warily, I soon came to realize that it wasn't going to move anymore. Apparently gravity was it's only power.

I decided that I needed to get a little revenge on it. My plan was to yank the thing back to my behind-the-couch hoard. But there were other books still there, and they still had the power of gravity behind them. I had to do it fast.

Three.

Two.

One.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

I nipped at the book cover and dragged it as fast as I could out of the room! I am pretty sure a million of the book's friends were falling all around me! It was chaos, I tell you! Pure chaos! Actually, I didn't actually see any books falling, but I was pretty sure it was happening. Why else would it have felt so intense?

Once I got the book squared away behind the couch, it made its final attempt to best me. It opened up. At first, I thought this was an attempt to attack me, but I think I might have accidently nudged it open. Carefully I peeked inside and found... a lot... and I mean A LOT of words. Like too many of them. They were just scurrying all around and dancing about on the pages. They were mocking me!

"Stop it!" I shouted at them. But they didn't listen! They just kept dancing around, laughing at me like I was some sort of idiot. I tried to bite them, but it didn't work. They were all flat against the page. I spent a good hour just screaming at them. That didn't work either.

I was at my wit's end. I had no more ideas but one. It was a stretch, but I had no choice. I attempted to "read" them. Yes, I, Jack the ferret, attempted to read the dancing words. At first, they just continued to laugh at me and dance, but I didn't give up. I wanted revenge so bad. But over time, the words began to stop dancing as much. It was working! I was beginning to read, and it was making the words straighten up! Woohoo!

I read every single word in that book to get all of them in line. That's when I realized that all the other books were probably in need of reading as well. If I didn't, they would probably jump off the shelf and hurt someone. It was their dancing, I reckoned, that was causing them to fall out of the shelves. One by one, I would dash into the library, and pull them back into my behind-the-couch hoard. Then I would open them up and read every single one of those stupid, dancing words.

The plan was to get all the books in the library behind the couch, and I got about halfway before the master of the house found out what I was doing. He was trying to take the books back! I was violently opposed! I screeched and snapped! I danced around in wild circles! I declared war on the entire universe! Who are these words that they should dance and fall down on people?! Who, I say?!

No matter how hard the master tried to remove the books, I always brought them back. I read all the words. I would look up defiantly when the master would glare. In his ignorance, he judges me! Show respect for your tiny savior! I am Jack, the great book tamer!

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This blog was written on December 4, 2022.

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Fairy Tale Spotlight: Around the World in Eighty Days [Book Review]

My first Jules Verne book and it wasn't even a science fiction!

"Around the World in Eighty Days" is a novel written by Jules Verne. It was originally published in French in 1872. The story follows Englishman Phileas Fogg on his journey to win a bet by doing exactly what is in the title of the book. It could not be any simpler than that.

Although I should say that there are some complications. Indeed, there was a lot of adventure to be had, but there is also the issue of a man named Fix who thinks Phileas is a bank robber. This is sort of a hanging thread for the entire length of the book, and it's hard to figure out if Phileas really is the man that Fix thinks he is. I won't spoil it though!

The real driving force of this book are the characters and Verne's presentation of said characters. Phileas comes across as intensely stoic. He is so stoic, in fact, that he mostly seems to lack a personality. You have to learn about him through his actions, and his actions describe a very good and moral person. I really did like him, but he doesn't really talk much in the book. I spent most of my time waiting to see what his valet was doing.

Passepartout is one of the most interesting and amusing characters I have ever read about. Even though he is not technically the main character, I kept forgetting that because of how active he was in the story. He easily steals the show from the story's main protagonist.

Passepartout is a jack of all trades, but he has the innocence of a child. The good works of his master will easily bring him to tears, and he will stop at nothing to do likewise in the name of Phileas Fogg. I loved him so much.

The whole reason I picked up this book was because I used to be a fan of the old, forgotten show "The Secret Adventures of Jules Verne," which starred Phileas and Passepartout, although there story was completely different. That said, they must have really gone out of their way to portray the characters correctly, because I could see them quite clearly in the book. It was so wonderful to finally see them together again.

I don't want to spoil anything. You just need to understand how enjoyable this book was to read. It is an adventure with some brief moments of levity brought about by how real these characters feel. I absolutely recommend "Around the World in Eighty Days" if you are seeking a fun adventure to wet your appetite. This one is a bonafide classic!

This blog was written on November 27, 2022.

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Fairy Tale Spotlight: The Musings of a Lonely Skunk

Today, I found out something that I think I may not have formerly understood properly. Apparently, there are some people that think creatures like me don't smell very good. It had something to do with a famous cartoon series. I looked into it, and I was rather shocked... but not altogether unamused. It's not really based on reality. My reality, anyways.

Now, could this be perhaps why people avoid me when I walk up to them? If so, I don't mean anything by it. I only want to wish you a good day. Perhaps we could talk about other things, or you could talk while I lay here with a rose betwixt my teeth. Just something I like to do sometimes.

The truth is that the whole smelly business is more of a last resort for those who mean to treat us poorly. It's locked away in a special chamber, and only I have the key. I've no intention on being crass without any good reason for it. In all acts of retaliation, there must always be a certain level of provocation.

Personally, I don't see why we can't just get along. I'm a person. You're a person. But then, I don't even know if you're listening right now. You could. You really could. But I digress.

Skunks can be very affectionate, you know? At least I can be. I try to be. I want to get to know you or anyone else. I am a listener, it's true. I like to listen and look into the eyes of my guest. It's my favorite thing. Nothing else really. I just like to do that.

But if everyone is running away from you, how am I supposed to enjoy myself? I don't want to be alone. I want to be with someone. Although I will admit to enjoying the company of other skunks, it's not always something I can rely on. I do like to fiddle about outside of the species whenever I can.

And while I am still writing this, I would like something of a critique about the whole rose thing. Is it too much? Should I lay on my side or on my back? Too exposed? Too vulnerable? What gesture would please you personally while I am in my... listening position? Hmm? I'd like to know. Although I would prefer to keep the whole rose thing. It's sort of something special to just me.

That said, I think I have done enough musing. I might let the fleeing people know that I am safe before they get out of earshot. That's what I'll do. "Come back, darling! I'm not going to hurt you! Let's talk! Or you can just talk! I'm a good listener! Do you like roses?!" Does that sound too desperate? Hmm. It may need work. I'll try different variations. Lovely.

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This blog was written on November 27, 2022.

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Fairy Tale Spotlight: Movie Adaptations

You may have noticed that I have reviewed a bunch of obscure books based off of older films. It doesn't happen quite as much as it used to, but it has been a long held tradition for a movie producer to commission an author to write a book based on their production. That is assuming the movie is not already based on a book, of course. I tend to look for these book adaptations quite a bit, but I generally am looking for ones that are a bit obscure.

If there was an old movie that I liked, I will pop onto the internet (often Thrift Books) and check to see if there was a book adaptation for it. In many cases, I have found them, and they tend to be incredibly cheap. ($3 to $5 sometimes.)

Because of this personal curiosity, I found a book written to promote the original Adams Family series, a readable version of the movie "Tron," and a books made to promote a rather surprising number of other Disney films going far back into their history. Almost every one of the latter's live action movies had books. Their so many of them.

There are some fascinating novelties out there such as "Return to Oz." That was a book written to promote the movie which was based on two of Baum's Oz books. The fact that it exists was extraordinary, and I got so much out of it. It gave more context to the villain of the film.

The thing about these books that interest me is that they are often commissioned to be written while the movie itself is being made. They do this so that the book can come out at the same time as the film. Because of this simultaneous production, the books are often based off the original script. The author almost never gets to actually see the film while they are writing it.

Since the book is based off the original script, content can be left in there that doesn't make it into the film itself. In some cases, the book can be largely different than the movie, giving me a new perspective on what happened. I live for moments like these.

Two cases that took me by surprise was the sex scene in "Tron" that was cut in the movie but left in the book. There was also the fact that the "Misadventures of Merlin Jones" was presented completed out of order to the movie, yet it still somehow played out the same way.

At times, however, the adaptation can be so precisely like the movie that it can be a chore to read. It can feel more like it is describing the movie rather than actually giving me a deeper context into it. This has happened to me (and it's bad), but more often than not I have enjoyed reading these adaptations.

Since these books were only intended to act as a promotional for the movie at the time, very few of them ever become a success. They would momentarily show up in book stores so people could see the titles, and then after that they would become obscure, making their way around the world. They would sit in dusty bookshelves, unwanted, unloved. After all, the movie was the whole point.

I am here today to say that I do recognize them for what they are. There were authors commissioned to turn these movies into works of literature. Many of them were quite good, and I am pleased with the majority of my experience. Sometimes there are bad moments, such as the case with my favorite movie ever "The Black Hole." The author who wrote that adaptation sadly did not understand the ending of the film and totally blew it. But things like that are still interesting in their own right. I want to see the differences, and differences are what movie adaptations are all about.

Also they are dirt cheap.

This blog was written on November 26, 2022.

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Fairy Tale Spotlight: Manos: Talons of Fate (Book Review)

"Manos: Talons of Fate" is a book written by Stephen D. Sullivan, and it was published in 2016. It is an adaptation of the low-budget horror film released in 1966 known as "Manos: The Hands of Fate." This is the second adaptation I have read of that movie by this same author. I have already reviewed the previous one.

The first adaptation was intended as a way for the author to make fun of the movie, and I really hated it. I didn't like reading it at all, and I was really worried that I was not going to like this supposedly more serious version. I am happy to say that this second adaptation was far from disappointing.

The thing that makes "Manos: Talons of Fate" so good is that it follows the milestones of the movie extremely closely, yet it gives everything a much cleaner context. That's actually what I wanted. I wanted an adaptation that took the story of the movie seriously, without turning it into a joke. The movie was kind of a joke because there wasn't much effort put into its production, but there was a story there worth telling, and this new book tells it in the best way.

Everything about this story is good. It's sexy. It's often quite scary. It makes you feel secluded and trapped away from safe society. The author does a great job at presenting the wives of the "Master" to you. Their lust for him is often stronger than their disdain. It's surprisingly politically incorrect, but it really hits home as a horror book.

Torgo is still the best character in the whole story. Heck, I even liked him in the comedy book. But it was this particular telling that really opens your mind to who he is and the monster he is becoming. If you ever wanted to know more about Torgo and his backstory, this is the book for you.

That is not to say that the other characters are disinteresting. In the movie, there were some seemingly unimportant characters that kept showing up for no good reason, but the author here has given them a purpose without removing their activities too far away from the film. I don't know how to explain it better, but he was just so good at this. It worked so well, and I am a bit astonished.

I also want to say that, in this version, the author does not shy away from erotica. There isn't a lot of it, but he pretty much just describes it raw. I like this because the book is filled with a lot of lusty imagery between men and women. There's also a bit of lesbian stuff as well. It almost makes me feel dirty for reading it, but I think that may have been the point.

I do absolutely recommend "Manos: Talons of Fate." I recommend it about as much as I do not recommend the comedy version. It's like night and day. This is one of the best adaptations I have ever read, and it seems like a dream come true that it exists. I really wanted this... and the author delivered.

This blog was written on November 21, 2022.

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Fairy Tale Spotlight: The Tooth Fairy Quits

There's no use making your complaints about it now. I've had it. I've been a mouse a lot longer than I've been a Tooth Fairy, but there isn't enough motivation left in me to keep this job. Do you have any idea of the indignities I have to put up with dealing with all your stupid teeth? No, you don't. You probably won't even care after reading about all this. But I've got something to say, and I want to get it all on the record (and off my tiny chest), before I turn in my letter of resignation.

First of all, what is wrong with all of you Americans? Tall, prettily dressed human women with long gowns that were probably bought at a diamond factory?! Are you really so shallow?! Who told you what the Tooth Fairy was supposed to be?! Let me tell you something. Who is more likely to steal those teeth from under your pillow at night: a big, stompy, human-like person, or a tiny floaty mouse? DON'T SAY HUMAN! The answer was mouse, and you know it!

The thing I really just don't understand about Americans is that they all obsess over pretty women. I do all this work, and then people go around drawing pictures of pretty girls and say, "Mommy! Mommy! This is the person who gave me five bucks!" You know, I was supposed to give you a flipping quarter, you little ingrate! I thought if I paid you more, you'd actually show me a little respect, but I guess not!

Oh, and we can go into the whole tooth to dollar exchange ratio. When are you goofy little brats actually going to be satisfied with anything I give you? Back in the olden times, a quarter was all that was needed to make you happy. It wasn't a penny, or a nickel, or a dime. It was a freaking quarter! That's one-forth of a whole dollar! And it isn't even the inflation that's making this bad. Half the time the children are upset because I didn't leave them a Nintendo Switch or something. I'm not made of money, you idiots! I'm trading off teeth! Just take your money and smile for a change! Sheesh!

Look, I am very sorry about doing all this yelling. Yes, I know that I am technically writing it, but it feels like I am yelling on paper or something. It's just... I'm just tired of being under-appreciated. Being a Tooth Fairy—and a mouse, frankly—is a thankless job. Sure, the other countries accept me, sort of, but I'm tired of all the Americans thinking I'm some nameless Disney Princess. I'm just a mouse, people! I have this stupid pointy hat and a magic wand. That's all they gave me. I'm not some beautiful woman, and I can't help that!

And that's why I have decided to quit. I am done. I do not want to do it anymore. I found a mouse that wants my job. Her name is Greta. She's a little cross-eyed, but she seems really eager to do it. I want to take all my teeth and exchange them so I can retire on the beaches of Acapulco. I want to be waited on hand and foot and served fancy cheeses for the rest of my life.

So—effective immediately—I am resigning as the Tooth Fairy. Maybe you Americans will get it right someday, but until then, you'll have to deal with Greta here. I'm done with all of you.

Acapulco, here I come!

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This blog was written on November 13, 2022.

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