"Your way is stupid," replied the Holy Spirit.
"My way is righteous in all things. And besides, I promised you that I would not wipe out everything, and I didn't. I've only been wiping out small parts of my creation so that the stupid humans don't clean themselves out."
"I'm still angry with you," said Mr. Nobody.
"It was really bad!" cried God. "Did I tell you about the goat?!"
"No, its not that," said the Holy Spirit. "I didn't really mind it when you wiped out the people."
"Then what's the problem?"
"I'm talking about what you did with the Tower of Babel."
"That giant nipple?" asked God.
"Whatever. What you did was stupid."
"All I did was mess up their languages. It worked, didn't it?"
"You made things worse. The whole planet is confused now. People are forming up into tribes based on their languages. Your people are prideful of silly things. The entire experiment is now untenable."
"I don't think so," said God.
"How so?"
"Because I am God and I don't think so."
"That's not a reason," accused Mr. Nobody.
"It's the reason I am giving. Okay, so the decision to split the languages may have been... screwy."
"Screwy?"
"Yes, that's the word I'm using. Screwy. But if I am not allowed to destroy everything, I am having to fix things on the fly. Some decisions may have negative results, but I am confident in my ability to work things out over time."
"Do you even know what you are doing?" asked the Holy Spirit.
"Not a blasted thing, but that's where the excitement is, right?"
"No. It isn't exciting. It's awful. And if you knew what was best, you'd just wipe everything out and never start over again."
God shook his head. "Everybody deserves a little piece of your wonderful dance. I dearly want to give them this."
"It's my dance."
"Not anymore. But I still give you the credit for creating it."
"I did not create anything!" yelled Mr. Nobody. "I was just being me!"
"Yes, and what you are is the most wonderful thing in all of the cosmos! And I wanted it! I wanted it more than anything I have ever craved before in all of my existence! I wanted it and so I took it! And now that I have it, the universe that I have created will benefit from it!"
"Your people just started worshiping a golden calf."
"Yes, I know. I'm trying not to look." To be continued.
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I guffawed when I read "Your people are worshiping a golden calf" and God says "I know. I'm trying not to look." The line "your entire experiment is now untenable" is a severe accusation since it condemns all of Creation unequivocally. God is judged and found wanting by the very thing most dear to him. This is a tragedy... so far. Only a MIRACLE can save the day.
ReplyDeleteIts difficult to just not destroy everything when humans keep doing weird things with goats. Seriously! What in the hell?!
DeleteThe people complaining are not the ones making anything better. Instead, they would rather remake the world to suit them. No wonder God does not take their feelings into account.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I'm not sure he would take their feelings into account even if they did what he wanted. I think he is more interested in results ultimately.
DeleteLove the conversation between The Holy Spirit and God, the confounding of the language did indeed lead to much suffering. God's decision is final, he makes it up as he goes along but does not break his own rules. The end with the golden calf is yet another hilarious facepalm.
ReplyDeleteSo I have often questioned why God did not revert the languages back into a single one after the problem with Babel was completely resolved. In theory, he could have found a better solution later on that would have fixed the problem without such a profound mix-up of our world.
DeleteTwo things: I have never known God to go back on any decision. He may not be able to. Also he may not actually know how to fix the problem while it is this out of hand. God generally acts on large scale to specific groups and sometimes a single person. But when they spread out all over the place, he can't really deal with them without wiping them all out. It's a theory.