Fairy Tale Spotlight: Our Divine Comedy, Pt. 7

In the beginning, there was nothing, but that only lasted since the beginning of eternity which did not actually exist. And so really the time that there was nothing was, perhaps, a very small period realistically and, at most, only a matter of perspective. But the perspective had was God's, and within this perspective, he was quite lonely and in need of companionship. Not really knowing how to create companionship with any degree of accuracy--for it was his first time doing so--God invited Chris into his home where the great universal table existed and did his best to enjoy his company.

"This just isn't working out, Lucy," said God to Chris.

"What isn't?" asked the somewhat worrisome human.

"You and I. I can't seem to figure out what to do. I don't really want to kill you or anything. It's just a bit difficult to keep up with you and what not. Didn't I forget to fill your feeding bag yesterday?"

And so God looked towards other avenues for good companionship. He found it purely by chance by way of Mr. Nobody. But that companionship was oddly one-sided.

"And then Chris said to me, 'I really wish I didn't have to eat out of that stupid feed bag. I'm not really a donkey. I'm a human being!' And then I said to him, 'There's a difference?!' Ha!"

Chris stepped back into the room just as God finished his joke. "Who are you talking to?"

"Who does it look like I'm talking to?" asked God. "Mr. Nobody, of course!"

"But you taped his mouth shut."

"Oh, I had to," groaned God. "All he does is complain that I kidnapped him."

"But you did kidnap him."

"I'm sorry, Freddy, but I am not quite getting your point. Have you been getting enough hay in your diet?"

And so it came to pass that Chris' point did eventually become clear to God. He realized that he probably should create companions that were more interesting to him than both Chris and Mr. Nobody. He worked really hard at it and ultimately created a creature that was fascinating on multiple levels.

"It's a robot basically."

"What's a robot?" asked Chris.

"Why do you always ask stupid questions, Ken?! Just let me explain. This obedient being which stands before you now is called an angel. He is programmed to act according to his nature in all things and never to... um... not do that. Say hi to him, Gunther."

"Hello," greeted Chris to the angel.

The angel peered down at the tiny human before looking back at God saying, "Do you wish for me to kill him?" Chris was suddenly frightened.

God laughed. "No! No! That isn't necessary. At least, right now."

"Right now?!" worried Chris aloud.

"Don't mind him," said God to the angel. "He's not been getting enough fiber in his diet. Backs him up and he gets like this."

God really loved his angels and so he made as many of them as he could. They spent much of their time singing beautiful choruses before God. Chris and Mr. Nobody were always invited to stay and listen. Not always speak, but at least listen.

"They really do have great voices," remarked Chris.

"Yes, I know," smiled God. "I really seem to have won out with this one. It's very relaxing and allows me to concentrate on my human-based creative endeavors. But what I really love is how great they are at killing things."

Chris gulped. "Killing?"

"Oh, they are amazing at it. Gabriel there is particularly great at it. Very creative. Where Micheal's technique--there on the right-- is particularly gory. I still can't help but laugh at what he does to the head when it pops off."

"What about that one there?" pointed Chris.

"Oh, that's sort of the black sheep of the group, Joss. He just sort of kills people randomly. I haven't figured out the pattern yet. Thinking about demoting him."

"Okay," grunted Chris. "But who is that really pretty one in front?"

"Oh, he's a special one!" smiled God. "I just can't stop promoting him. Best of the whole bunch."

"Does he have a name?"

"Of course, he does, Paul. He shines brighter than all the others. And so I called him Lucifer. Let's be honest, that one will never let me down." To be continued.

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