Rodent Spotlight: Phoberomys Pattersoni

The pacarana is actually the closest relative to two giant rodents that lived in prehistoric times. These rodents are, of course, completely extinct by today, but it never hurts to imagine what they may have been like. For this blog, I present to you the phoberomys pattersoni!

Like the last two rodents presented, the phoberomys pattersoni was apart of the infraorder of cavimorpha making him related to the capybara and the guinea pig. But good lord! This guy was a bit bigger than either of those! It is believed that this giant rodent was nearly 10 feet long from head to tail-base with a 5 foot long tail. He weighed anywhere from 550 to 1,500 pounds! Chances are you would hear this heavy guy coming. I imagine the little pacarana related to him must have been proud of his ancestry.

Bones of these giant rodents were found in South America which is interesting since many of the giant "cavis" can be found in that area. The pacarana really isn't all that a distant relative of the phoberomys pattersoni. To see the pacarana walking about almost would make someone consider what it would be like if these creatures were so much bigger. Can you even imagine such a big rodent stomping around?!

Unfortunately, the phoberomys pattersoni has only his scientific name, and I am sorry for the poor fellow who has to read this out loud and have to stumble over it at every instance. I did think it was pretty funny that this fellow has had some informal names. Mighty Mouse was one of them; although, I thought this was a bit dry since the creature doesn't look at all heroic. I was more fond of Ratzilla! What do you think? Sounds a bit more like a huge, hulking creatures stomping around and causing mayhem!

Sound scary? Well, what would you do if this giant, big-toothed monstrosity was standing outside of your front door? Don't worry! Many believe that this big guy was actually a strict herbivore. Actually, if you think about it, that's a little anti-climactic. I was expecting Ratzilla to rage about destroying everything in its way. Why is it that all the big rodents are so tame?

Ladies and gentlemen, the phoberomys pattersoni is like one of the many dinosaurs of the rodent order. Fiction is a difficult proposition when you consider that no one has actually seen more than a set of bones. But take a look at how I presented this blog in the first place. The phoberomys pattersoni is really just a distant relative of the pacarana.

In a fictional world of talking rodents, the phoberomys pattersoni would be like our cavemen. I am sure stories of them would be told for the amusement of their peers. After all, the pacarana are already good at telling stories about themselves--why not stories about their ancestors as well. I wonder if their version would be more like the rampaging Ratzilla. Why not?

But guess what! There was yet another--even bigger--rodent related to the pacarana. Don't miss the next Rodent Spotlight. After all, it's the very last one.

Thank you for reading this blog. If you enjoyed it, you can comment below, or you can email me at tooie@tooiekangaroo.com. Stomp!

Neely the Calm

"Neely the Calm" by T.K. Wade (As told by Quin, guide of Skiouros.)

Ah. This is the story of the boy named Neely. There was an old time when squirrels were quite barbarous, for we answered only to Ignavus and none other. We held contests in the city we now call Chad where much bloodshed would be had. The conquerors would sometimes devour the defeated before all; however, there are some of us who will deny this claim.

Neely was quite young, but he was more competent than he looked. Anyone who stood against him would suffer a quick and bloody demise. There were big, strong squirrels with mighty weapons of death. They would look upon the lad as if he was nothing but be proven quite shocked when their heart was filled with metal from his blade. The reason for this was that he was in mortal conference with a powerful god who gave him the power to defeat those who seemed better than him. ‘Who was this god?’ you may wonder.

Even in those times where Ignavus ruled us entirely, the other gods that we know of still lived in the Highest Place. Instruo lived as well, and he had taken possession of this lad Neely. It was not so much that he gave the boy power but simply the ability to clearly think through his situation with a calm heart and mind. The others who would try and best him were wild and conceited, but Neely would always watch them carefully and determine their weakness with ease. When the foeman would attack with untempered vigor, Neely would strike in a place where the enemy did not expect and so kill him quickly. This Neely did many times and was never harmed at all.

In the Highest Place, Ignavus did not like what Instruo was doing, but the feral god bore the same complacencies as his followers and did not suspect it would amount to anything. But he was wrong. The squirrels wondered at this amazing power that Neely possessed and why someone so young could kill so many with ease. Questions were asked, and he answered that he had given himself to another god who gave him a peace beyond what he could understand. In that way, he could best those who stood against him while their minds were tainted with fevered thoughts of killing and death.

Some still rebuked the boy for his denouncement of Ignavus, but others wanted to know more. He taught those who cared all he knew, and the land of Skiouros began to change. Some say that Neely is the first Shadow Tail to live, but it is not known for certain.

-Glossary-

Skiouros: The forest-rich country of the squirrels. It is west of Murridae, the kingdom of mice.

Chad: This is actually the capitol city of Skiouros.

Ignavus: The squirrel god of laziness; however, his followers know him as the god of freedom.

Highest Place: Heaven or realm of the gods.

Instruo: The god of readiness and swift decision.

Shadow Tail: An elite order of squirrels in service of the people of Skiouros. They are often revered greater than even the king himself.

Rodent Spotlight: Pacarana

It might seem strange that we are going from a rodent called a paca directly over to one called a pacarana, but I will endeavor to explain. The pacarana is actually not in the same family as the paca. It is a different rodent entirely but with the same infraorder known as cavimorpha. You remember the "cavis," right? That's where all the big critters come from! That is... unless your a guinea pig. Just being fat does not make you a giant.

The pacarana is a big rodent found within the foothills of the Andes mountains which is in South America. They are a fairly ancient species of rodent and quite large to boot. One averages thirty-one inches from head to tail and can weigh about thirty-three pounds. They tend to move around slowly and are strictly herbivores.

Information on these guys are a bit scarce so it took me a while to scrounge up the data. One thing that perked my interest was that the females have a gestation period of about nine months and have one to two offspring in a litter. Sound familiar? Most rodents are more known for giving birth fast and having a lot of babies at a time. These guys are more like us humans in that respect.

The name "pacarana" is actually a Tupi Indian term which literally means "false paca." That's right. The poor guy is named purely on the basis of a common misconception. People always think he is a paca! Talk about going through life with an identity crisis! I also enjoyed its scientific name "dinomys branikii." It literally translates into "terrible mouse." Why can't most scientific names be this fun! Despite the suggestive designation, the pacarana is not at all violent.

That misnomer was what got me thinking about the fictional aspect of the pacarana. Admittedly, this rodent is pretty big. As a man once wrote, "The pacarana reminds one of an immense rat well advanced in development towards a bear." (Allen, cited in Crowe 1967) This leads me to believe that these creatures might promote a more terrifying legend of themselves as a form of protection. In reality, they would be quite tame and gentle.

Just imagine meeting one of these big guys on a highway after hearing about how blood thirsty they are. True, they would not hurt a fly, but you don't know that. After all, just look how imposing they are! I imagine there would be many writers among the pacarana hoping to promote their own legend. Even if some people don't fall for it, the myth will still serve a purpose to make them a bit safer.

But you know what? Maybe, there IS a bit more to these guys than we thought. I hear they have a very impressive lineage that goes back into the distant past. Perhaps, we should look into this a bit more in the next blog. Stay tuned!

Thank you for reading this blog. If you enjoyed it, you can comment below, or you can email me at tooie@tooiekangaroo.com. Wait for it!

Fergal the Unwanted

"Fergal the Unwanted" by T.K. Wade (As told by Quin, guide of Skiouros.)

This tree here depicts a comedy of sorts. Here is a squirrel man. We shall call him Fergal, for I do believe that was his name. Fergal was an average squirrel of looks, and he would spend many a day seeking favor among the women of Skiouros.

Sadly, the man would advance upon them with the eagerness and impatience of Ignavus–driving them away with a distaste for poor Fergal. Where he may have been impatient in love, he was never one to give up. The squirrel would travel from city to city across our great country and continue his mighty campaign to conquer a female. But it never happened, and soon, he was forced to confront his own failure.

Fergal was quite depressed when he realized that no woman would ever grace his life, and so he decided that he must dedicate himself to other things. For this reason, he set himself to become a Shadow Tail. To take on such a difficult task would seem an impossibility considering his spiritual affiliations; however, it was his unwavering tenacity which allowed him to accomplish the task. Indeed, Fergal joined the prestigious ranks of the Shadow Tail as the carving clearly denotes.

Now, this good squirrel was bound by Instruo to live a life of heroism, and this he did with the same steadfastness as when he chased after women. He did many great deeds among our country and was loved by all who met him. But would you ever imagine that this great hero would be greatly pursued by the very women who shunned him prior? Indeed, this is the very action that they did attempt.

Poor Fergal. As a Shadow Tail, he could not marry, and neither did he wish to. The training of one of such rank teaches him to look towards the needs of his countrymen than the desires of the flesh and fur. Women from every city came to bask at him, for even though he was of average build, his heroism added upon him a halo of sorts.

I would not feel too badly for Fergal, for you see, he was well contented with his decision. It was for these poor women that pity must be given. As is common, a Shadow Tail has no home but with those who will allow him entrance. These women open their doors to him, and he accepted their offerings but only that he may rest his head. Alas! It is not what any of them really wished. For as Fergal received Instruo into his life, he gave all those women he pursued his Ignavus!

-Glossary-

Skiouros: Country where the squirrels live. It is west of the mouse country of Murridae.

The Tree: Near the city of Sanctum within the country of Skiouros, the squirrels carve stories into the nearby trees.

Ignavus: The squirrel god of laziness; however, his followers know him as the god of freedom which is a selfish bias.

Shadow Tail: Elite squirrels who have dedicated their lives to serving the people of his country.

Instruo: The squirrel god of readiness and swift decision. Ignavus is his antithesis.

"Still Wild" has been published!

That's right! My new ebook "Still Wild" has been published on Smashwords FREE OF CHARGE! This is the sequel to "Wild" which I have been posting stories from recently. Check it out!

Have you ever seen a dead possum on the roadside and wonder if it had a story? Who know?! Maybe, it did! Ever wonder what your pet gerbil is thinking? You might be surprised to find out! In this new collection of fables by T.K. Wade, you’ll get to see animals acting a little more human, and perhaps, we’ll learn a little more than we wanted to about ourselves. In the fanciful tradition of Aesop, see the animal kingdom in a way that you might not expect!

This collection also includes a new story called “Expectations” by Lynn Ann O’Toole. Enjoy!

Rodent Spotlight: Paca

I think it is about time to announce that I am very swiftly nearing the end of my Rodent Spotlight series. We still have a few more to go, however, and I hope that you will enjoy the remaining rodents that I have chosen for your pleasure.

You might remember an old blog about the mighty capybara and how unusually large it was. Well, the capybara is part of an extremely fascinating infraorder of rodents known as caviomorpha. It seems that I have been running into these guys a lot lately so expect to be hearing much about them in the next few blogs.

Probably the most well-known "cavis" are the capybara and the guinea pig, but there are others that caught my attention as well. Case in point: the paca [pronounced pah' - kuh]. While these guys are not quite as large as the capybaras, they are still bigger than your common mouse or squirrel. They also have interesting fur designs which remind me a little of the markings you commonly see on deer.

There are a few things that caught my attention about the pacas. Firstly, they love to swim; in fact, they are very adept at holding their breath--sometimes up to fifteen minutes. This is an excellent ability because they tend to leap into water at the first sign of danger. By the time they surface for air, the predator has given up the hunt.

The paca is a burrowing animal. Check this out: They put leaves at two different entrances to the burrow to both act as a hiding component but also as an alarm system in case they are being invaded. What's next--HD cameras with night vision?!

Although I want to go into more detail, I will only mention one particular thing about their reproduction. Pacas almost always mate in water. When the male paca approaches the female, she tends to hop up and down enthusiastically. Well... it goes on from there, and that's all I'll say,

As far as fiction, I actually see the pacas as playful and friendly. Here's a race of rodent that will be your buddy and maybe go out to the pond with you for a splendid day out. I do actually see them as very gregarious as people. They would probably be more apt to spot you for a meal as well. Expect a lot of fruit. They like fruit. Also, you should not mind them as traveling companions. They would rig traps everywhere around the campsite and plan escape routes for maximum safety. Clever AND friendly! I like these guys! So you might wanna consider making a paca your friend; just be prepared to eat a lot of fruit. They really like fruit!

Thank you for reading this blog. If you enjoyed it, you can comment below, or you can email me at tooie@tooiekangaroo.com. Fruit!

"Ava in Fairyland" has been released!

The "Ava in Fairyland" eBook has been released! FULLY ILLUSTRATED! Buy it today for $2.99!

Ava Paige was a sweet little girl who loved the color yellow. Rupert Appleton was a tubby man with a colorful bag. Somehow, they ended up on the same train together, a train bound to a magical country called Fairyland! Join Ava and Rupert on their adventure in this new fully illustrated book by T.K. Wade! Meet Jasper the Bunny who is trying to get back home before an army of foxes capture him. Read about the friend’s they encounter along the way like Rocky, a wolf made of stone, and Hyjinx, a hyena who likes to tell stories. In the tradition of “Wizard of Oz” and “Alice in Wonderland,” this story will spark the imaginations of children everywhere!

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/546199