Thursday, August 29, 2019

Fairy Tale Spotlight: Why is Care Bears Good?

This is a question that has long plagued me. There are so many truly bad cartoons from the 80's and 90's. Did we really need Captain Planet? And if Captain Planet is so horrible, why is Care Bears so good? Why even compare the two?

Captain Planet had its run. Lots of people watched. It's dead now. In fact, not only is it dead, it's considered a joke among most people. The problem with Captain Planet was that it was a halfhearted attempt to push environmentalism (a political talking point) into the faces of children. Were all the episodes crap? No, actually. But the show was what it was, and we can't help but think back to how stupid we were for watching such tripe. And I still can't help but feel terrible about that poor Asian kid who only got the power of "heart." What a sad and pathetic life he must have led while all of his buddies were zapping things with fire and ice.

But then we have Care Bears, a show that still runs to this day. Why? It's about a bunch of huggable, cute bears who care about each other's feelings. Their powers consist of... staring down the bad guy... because he knows what he did was wrong... so... we're gonna stare at him... like in a group and stuff. Seriously, this shouldn't have gone as far as it did. But it did!

A lot of the reasons the show lasted was because a genuine amount of work went into the characters. The original show actually had a good bit of well-timed humor in it. And when the movies came about, the villains were genuinely interesting. Especially that second one which went into demons and possession. Wow. I'm serious. The second movie had a freaking exorcism happening in the final scenes.

I'm still not 100% clear on why Care Bears has come so far. I actually do like the show, at least the original. I find myself chuckling and giggling as they try and spread childish notions of caring across the world. People roll their eyes at me. I know. I... know. I think it's weird too.

But let's go back to the contrast. Captain Planet was boldly trying to indoctrinate children to the political talking point known as environmentalism. Even though the episodes were somewhat entertaining, we naturally dislike being taught things while we watch our cartoons. Care Bears, on the other paw, may have been been trying to spread snowflakey ideas into our brains, but they seemed to focus more on plot, character development, and entertainment. You know... the stuff we watch things for. And even though it seems that all the Care Bears technically have the Asian kid's power of "heart," at least they can use it to zap evil demons back into the underworld where they belong. Hell yeah!

Thank you for reading my blog! Did you enjoy it? Either way, you can comment below, or you can email me at You can also visit my website at Check out my books! Thanks!

Tuesday, August 27, 2019

Fairy Tale Spotlight: If Animals Could Talk...

Talking animals are a mainstay in classic and even modern fairy tales. Sometimes they are not even considered strange. I've read a number of fairy tales where the protagonist would often talk to a nearby bird or a sneaking fox in order to obtain information. If that were to happen today, we might not be thinking so much about the intel they provided as much as we'd be wondering if we were dreaming.

Talking animals is one of those concepts that presently falls under the category of "impossible things." We are not socially permitted to expect or believe that any animal will ever be given the gift of speech. Birds of paradise are not really an exception. They are merely reproducing things that they have heard. When I am talking about speech, I am saying that these animals can communicate on a level that humans communicate with each other.

The heavy occurrence of talking animals in fairy tales leads me to believe that it was an actual thing. It was even recorded in the Bible. Some might argue that the talking donkey in question was merely being puppetted by God, but I don't think so because of the context around what the donkey actually said.

You see, the donkey in the Biblical tale was being abused by a man named Balaam. There was something only it could see blocking its way, and the human, seeing him as stubborn, began to beat him. Once God gave him the temporary gift to communicate, the donkey goes on to ask why in the world he was being persecuted after a lifetime of good service. The donkey had no idea why his master would not just... understand something was wrong. The donkey was clearly not being puppetted. He was expressing his own frustrations with Balaam. The only direct intervention from God came in the form of allowing the donkey to interpret and speak his mind.

Animals do have feelings. They can get frustrated. They go through a lot of similar emotions that we do, but they don't, under normal circumstances, have the cognitive ability or the bodily structure to express how they feel. But if they were given the ability, you can bet that they would have something to say.

Being given the ability to speak will not make them any less of an animal though. When Balaam's donkey was given the gift of gab, he was still very much a donkey who would still live a donkey's life. Even if he was permitted to keep talking, he wouldn't say much more than, "Is it time for hay? Do you need me to carry this? Can we stop and rest now? Wait... what are you gonna do with that branding iron there?" All donkey thoughts. And I don't really think there is anything particularly interesting about donkey thoughts other than the fact that we are actually hearing them spoken out loud.

But imagine a time in our history where there may have been quite a number of animals speaking here and there. There are many reasons why this could have been happening. I'll cover two of them.

The first concept was the idea of Magical Saturation. This happens in an age where magic and mysticism is more prevalent. The animals are talking because the people ruling the Earth want them to be talking. And so we let them. As I pointed out before, they will only speak to topics that naturally concern them and nothing more. They are still animals, you see.

The second concept has to do with Angelic Genetic Intervention. This is the idea that angels were manipulating animal DNA and combining it with their own in order to produce strange results, such as a talking animal. In these cases, the animals might act a bit more like humans and exhibit far more intelligence. They may also, at times, attempt to walk upright. This is also something we have noticed in older fairy tales, but not all of them.

Most angelic hybrids usually end up looking a bit more gaudy though. By gaudy, I am referring to a human body with a realistic animal head on it. But there might be other ways the genetic code could be manipulated. So this is a possibility.

Despite hardly anyone believing this is possible, we constantly surround ourselves with talking animals in cartoons. Bugs Bunny. Mickey Mouse. Yogi Bear. I could name a whole lot more, but I think you got the idea. We seem to be okay with talking animals from a purely fictional perspective, at least. We accept these ancient tales of people speaking openly with animals as a regularity. We accept that it is a canon part of the Bible. Yet ask anyone if animals can talk, and they won't give you very much positive feedback. It's impossible apparently. Despite being surrounded by the concept, nobody really believes in it.

My point is that we seem strangely comfortable with something that the vast majority of people call ridiculous. And all I am saying is... it's not really that ridiculous. It just doesn't happen anymore. But maybe someday... Well... You never know. History has been known to repeat from time to time.

Thank you for reading my blog! Did you enjoy it? Either way, you can comment below, or you can email me at You can also visit my website at Check out my books! Thanks!

Thursday, August 22, 2019

Fairy Tale Spotlight: Puck

I'm rather fond of satyrs. I write about them a lot. I like to make them out to be a happy and playful sort of race... but still with heavy inclinations towards hedonism. I recently came across an odd sort of satyr named Puck.

Now, just to be clear, I was not able to 100% identify Puck as a satyr. It just seems to be how he is often interpreted. But here is what I know:

--Puck likes to do favors for people such as cleaning house, making food, and other some-such chores.

--Puck expects great praise for these deeds, or else he will undo all the work he did and likely leave you with a worse situation than when you began.

--Puck likes to be given treats, which is a way one might negotiate him to get some chores done for you. Milk also seems to be a favorite of his.

--Puck craves attention. If you were to ignore him for more than a few minutes, he'll probably try and get it back. If you deprive him of attention for too long, he might become hurt by it. This may lead to aggression of some sort.

--Puck has a thing for friendship. He is always looking to make friends with anyone he can. This yearning for friendship is entirely self serving.

--Puck has a secret name. If you get close to him, maybe cuddle a little, he might tell you that his real name is Robin Goodfellow.

Despite being described in a number of ways, I lean towards the satyr because of certain personality quirks. His desire for attention and affection is the main aspects that led me to this conclusion. But I can't help but be positively terrified of the idea of befriending him. It just feels like I'd be signing some sort of terrible contract. Once you make that leap, there is no going back.

Puck represents a fairy creature that doesn't seem to have a home anywhere. He's a loner. He's just... out there... trying to find a place he can put himself. He comes across as a sweet and silly individual, but it is all self serving. All that he does, he does for himself. He'll never be able to assimilate to any society. You have to assimilate to him.

Here is the worst part: I think he's still out there. I don't think he looks like a satyr anymore. He's out there and still trying to make friends that he can control. Have you met him? Have you encountered little Robin Goodfellow out there... somewhere... in this big world? I'd be careful if I were you. He's not going to act in your favor. Not really. By the end of it, you'll be working for him... endlessly showering him with attention. He eats attention. And soon... he'll leave you nothing but a husk as he uses everything that you are... for his pleasure.

Thank you for reading my blog! Did you enjoy it? Either way, you can comment below, or you can email me at You can also visit my website at Check out my books! Thanks!

Tuesday, August 20, 2019

Fairy Tale Spotlight: The Face of Anubis

Ladies and gentlemen, I wanted to present something to you today. Some time ago, there was a man named Martinez who had been going through a bit of a drug problem. Drugs can be a funny thing. They can rather open up the mind to things we shouldn't be seeing. And creatures that we really shouldn't be dealing with will sometimes venture to have a bit of fun with us.

On one day, while Martinez was having a photo taken at an in-law's anniversary party, something very peculiar appeared over his left shoulder. Have a look:

I usually blow things like this off. I did a bit more research into this guy. There have been interviews with him and such. The man never had a dog. There was no dog in the house. And also... why is the dog looking so... angry/psychotic?

Despite the smile on this man's face, the canine's face seems to to show a certain level of hatred. It's a bit on the disturbing side... if you are even willing to believe it at all. The photo could just as well be a hoax, a careful edit. Maybe it is. But these are one of the few photos that I have personally deemed legit.

I began to notice a resemblance to certain creatures of old, namely the Cynophephaly. The creepy glare. The raised ears. This wasn't just a dog's head. The creature in the photo was doing this on purpose. He was a Cynocephaly with a grudge, and he wanted to let us know he was there.

Now, before we continue, have a look at this ancient bust of Anubis:

I got up with one of my friends, a Chris Buffaloe. He is the illustrator of a number of my books, Our Divine Comedy included. He's done work for me and my group (The Figments) before, such as drawing the face of Lucifer--where I was able to perfectly match it to the face on Mars.

In the case of this project, I asked him to use the image in the haunted Martinez photo, cross-reference it with ancient depictions of Anubis, and then produce a much clearer representation of the famous Cynocephaly for us all to see. Naturally, the odds were against us that we would get a "perfect" picture. I only wanted to get as close as we could, and I trusted Chris to achieve that goal better than anyone.

So it is now with pleasure, that I, for the very first time, present to you the true, living face of Anubis, as illustrated by Chris Buffaloe:

The Cynocephaly were known to be in the form of humans with "realistic canine heads." Anubis was just one of many. In fact, there is a chance that the dog you are seeing in the haunted photo is not specifically Anubis. But I personally set out to meet the great one himself. And here he is.

There's no going back now. I have already covered the Cynocephaly story in my recent Our Divine Spinoff blogs. I'll be making a book of them soon. I just wanted you all to see this great work of art before I begin.

Just imagine meeting someone like this. How would you react? There was a point where he was seen as a god and very cruelly ruled over a portion of humanity. It's probably for the best that all we see of him now is just a spooky face in a photograph.

Thank you for reading my blog! Did you enjoy it? Either way, you can comment below, or you can email me at You can also visit my website at Check out my books! Thanks!

Thursday, August 15, 2019

Fairy Tale Spotlight: What Is Water? (High Priest Edition)

In my last blog, I quoted a parable called What Is Water? For the purposes of this new blog, I'll be posting it again in order to make a different point. Here you go.

Two swimming fish meet somewhere within the ocean. The first fish asks of the second, "How is the water today?" To which the second fish replies, "What is water?"

I've talked about high priests before in this blog. I went into how the tribal high priests had linked themselves to evil forces and were ultimately being controlled by them. But for the here and now, I want to talk a bit more about the high priest in general and how he perceives the world around him.

The parable of What Is Water? is a very good little tale that may assist you in understanding what is happening in the mind of a high priest. If you are confused as to which fish the high priest represents, I direct you to give the majority of your observation to Fishy #1.

The first fish was clear the one of the two who seemed to be very aware that he was, as a matter of fact, surrounded on all sides by water. But this fish did not just know it was water. He had bothered to be aware of what sort of water it was. Its make. Its ingredients. Its temperature. The addition or lack thereof of salt. Fishy #1 knew all about the water around him.

There was something else this fish was very aware of. He was clearly very aware of Fishy #2. He was especially interested in this fish's ignorance of the water around him. But then... if he knew of this fish's ignorance, why did he bother to ask him what water was? But then that was the reason. Fishy #1 asked Fishy #2 what water was for the soul reason of him being ignorance of it. But why?

Fishy #1 is a high priest type in this scenario. He knew from the start that Fishy #2 was a diluted moron. And what do you do with moronic fish? You mess around with them. You throw truth in their face and watch them squirm as they wonder what is even going on. Yes, Fishy #1 was amused.

If you are going to be a high priest, there are a few things I would first recommend you obtain. Firstly, you need to start becoming aware of your surroundings on the physical and mystical level. Be open minded about it. Try and find meaning in things that would often have no meaning at all. There might be no meaning to it, but you won't know that unless you make the attempt to find it.

Secondly, you need to be on top of things--an elite. You have to be in a situation where you can push people around. People need to respect you and follow your orders. Manipulation hardly matters when nobody will do what you say,

Lastly, once you have become hyper aware of the mystical and physical flow and balance of the universe around you and have also achieved the standing needed to manipulate the people around you, you can begin enacting what will later be a powerful spell. The other little fishes won't know what's happening, but then... they never knew what water was anyways. They'll always be in ignorance... while you, the high priest fishy, manages to make things happen.

When you look into the eyes of a high priest, you may noticed that they always seem to be looking around in fascination. When you try and see what they see, nothing seems to turn up. To be a high priest, you have to be as open minded to as many possibilities as you can. Only then can you be useful in the role. And I suppose I respect them more for this ability.

Now, I'm not saying that all high priests are good. A high priest as a concept is neither good nor evil. Even the manipulation of people is not necessarily a bad thing. Some people are just asking for it after all and seem happier for it. What makes a high priest good or evil all has to do with their motives. Are they really doing it to make the world a better place, or are they only gaining power for themselves?

Consider these things. Open your eyes for a change. There's water out there, and there are still those who realize it... and some of them know how to make wine of it.

Thank you for reading my blog! Did you enjoy it? Either way, you can comment below, or you can email me at You can also visit my website at Check out my books! Thanks!

Tuesday, August 13, 2019

Fairy Tale Spotlight: What Is Water?

Ladies and gentlemen... a parable!

Two swimming fish meet somewhere within the ocean. The first fish asks of the second, "How is the water today?" To which the second fish replies, "What is water?"

This parable is often used to help people understand that there is often more to the world than what they are willing to perceive. It is an fairly decent attempt to help them open their eyes a bit more to the situation happening around them, often referring to the people around them.

The parable was likely more directed to the far more anti-social large and crowded cities. When you have so many people squeezed into one spot, people work harder to disconnect from one another. This is, perhaps, more of an western phenomenon, yet it is still tied heavily to human nature. Culture is what it is. Nature cannot be changed, only subverted by the human will.

But I am not here to encourage you to be omni-aware of the personal lives of those around you. I am merely using the parable to explain that there is--truly is--more happening around you than you likely allow yourselves to be conscious of.

A long time ago, there was a direct attempt to do away with the once obvious mysticism of the world. At the time, we were all aware of the magical things taking place. It was normal. If a fairy were nearby, we wouldn't think anything of it... other than something like, "Oh, there's that fairy again. Hope she brings us good luck today."

Whereas today when that same fairy flutters by, our response resembles something like, "That was a funny thing to see. Must be a trick of the light or something. Oh, well. Time for bed. Need to be up for work tomorrow." Here the phenomenon was too easily dismissed. Even if it was a trick of the light, the person was already rationalizing it away as if it was his duty. This man, whoever he is, does not seem to know what "water" is.

By today, the human race has been trained to believe only in what we are told over the TV set. This is often why people cling to science so much, for it always gets the official backing. The problem with science is that it never really touches into the realm of mystical physics. It only deals with the physical properties and the cause and effects upon them. It claims that everything, no matter how strange, can be explained by science. The latter message, ironically, tends to stand on its own in people's minds even when science has explained nothing.

Remember when our silly second fish discounted the fairy he saw as a trick of the light? Was this man a scientist? Had he bothered with tons of research in order to prove that what he saw was a trick of he light? Had he even tried to make a call and ask questions to a scientist? Most people wouldn't because they already have the ideal that everything can be explained by science, so why bother actually using science to explain it? This thought pattern, unfortunately, only closes the mind.

Most people are that second fish. They turn on the TV and hear the most recent scientific claim. They might repeat it to their friends (Did you hear? They are saying eggs are bad again!), but in a few days they probably won't even be thinking about it. The thought will just revert back to "science can explain anything." In this situation, there seems to be no reason for the fish to even bother with the water around him. Let science handle it. Let the people who make and discover the science deal with whatever that water is.

After all, this fish has a life to deal with, a very boring and uninteresting life. He'll work all his life and then die later on. He never needed to know what water was. And even if he suddenly realized he was actually wet, he'd assure himself that there was likely some scientific explanation as to why it happened... and just move on.

Thank you for reading my blog! Did you enjoy it? Either way, you can comment below, or you can email me at You can also visit my website at Check out my books! Thanks!

Thursday, August 8, 2019

Fairy Tale Spotlight: Hans Dumb

My dear readers, I call upon you to read the unusual Brothers Grimm tale of Hans Dumb below, where it will then be followed by commentary given freely to you by Yours Truly! Enjoy!

There was a king who lived happily with his daughter, his only child. Quite suddenly the princess had a baby, but no one knew who the father was. For some time the king was beside himself. Finally he ordered the princess to take the child to the church. A lemon would be placed in his hand, and whoever he should give it to would be the child's father and the princess's husband. This happened, but only fine people were admitted into the church. However, in the town there was a small, crooked, hunchbacked lad who was not very smart and who was therefore known as Hans Dumb. He mingled with the others and slipped into the church without being seen. When the child reached out with the lemon, it was to Hans Dumb!

The princess was horrified, and the king was so taken aback that he had her, the child, and Hans Dumb placed into a cask and set adrift at sea. The cask soon drifted away, and when they were alone at sea the princess cried out bitterly, "You horrid, hunchbacked, impudent rogue, you are the cause of my suffering. Why did you force your way into the church? You have nothing to do with the child."

"Oh yes," said Hans Dumb. "I have a lot to do with it, because one day I wished that you would have a child, and my wishes come true."

"If that is so, then wish us something to eat."

"I can do that too," said Hans Dumb, and he wished for a plate filled with potatoes. The princess would have liked something better, but because she was so hungry she helped him eat the potatoes.

After they had eaten their fill, Hans Dumb said, "Now I shall wish us a fine ship!" He had scarcely said this and they were sitting in a splendid ship, with an excess of everything that they might want.

The helmsman steered straight for land, and as they were going ashore Hans Dumb said, "Here there shall be a castle!" And there was a splendid castle there, and servants dressed in gold came and led the princess and the child inside, and when they were in the middle of the great hall, Hans Dumb said, "Now I wish to become a young and intelligent prince!" Then his hump disappeared, and he was handsome and straight and friendly. He found favor with the princess, and he became her husband, and they lived happily for a long time.

One day the old king got lost while out riding and came to their castle. He was amazed, because he had never seen it before, and he went inside. The princess recognized her father at once, but he did not know who she was, for he thought that she had long since drowned in the ocean. She received him with splendor, but when he wanted to go back home, she secretly placed a golden goblet into his pocket.

After he had ridden away she sent some knights after him to stop him and see if he hadn't stolen the golden goblet. They found it in his pocket and brought him back. He swore to the princess that he had not stolen it and did not know how it came to be in his pocket.

She said, "You see, one should always be cautious about accusing another person." With this she revealed herself as his daughter. The king was overjoyed, and they lived happily together, and after his death Hans Dumb became king.

Lemons! He gave the poor, little girl lemons. And what did she get for it? Another lemon... or was he? This is one of those odd moral tales that leave so much context out of it that it sparks the mind to consider what actually occurred here. Really, there is a lot to pick apart.

Firstly, why lemons? Well, the story of the lemon has a long history of breaking negative energies in favor of good ones. But the context of it all seems to push about in the realm of the spirit. The idea of the lemon is to draw goodness in and repel badness out. Enter the hunchback man known as Hans Dumb.

Hans is easily a fairy character sticking his nose in this rather lemony situation. A good fairy, to be sure, and quite pleased with the sour taste of good karma. He sneaks his way in and is promptly handed the yellow symbol of good fortune. Naturally, at this point, the king all but has given up on the almighty power of the lemon. But surely he won't be prone to drastic action!

Sadly, the king is so distraught that this hunchback is the father of his grandchild, he ships them all off on a boat without any oars, without any food, without any chance of survival. Now... what you are about to hear is pure opinion; it is my opinion in fact. That opinion is this: The king in this story is a bit of an ass.

Now, the hunchback known as Hans Dumb seems to be a fairy of great ability. He gets everything he wishes for. He even wished for the princess to have a baby, and she did. It was a mysterious pregnancy too, so I am entirely willing to assume the child to be his legitimate offspring. A lot of pretty amazing things are happening--I'm sure you'll agree! Egad!

Long story short, this Hans Dumb seems to be angel class, and he, for whatever reason, needed to make a hybrid. The daughter would somehow serve him well, I assume. I can't figure out much more than that, but I can say that the king was treated better than I thought he would be. Accusing him of stealing only to teach him a lesson is a much lighter sentence than most evil doers obtain in these stories.

Hans Dumb, ladies and gentleman. A classic example of spiritual entities fiddling around with our kind in a time where such things were commonplace. And here we have it recorded as nothing more than a fairy tale. But as many fairy tales are really just true stories watered down over time, it does make me wonder what was really happening here. Any thoughts?

Thank you for reading my blog! Did you enjoy it? Either way, you can comment below, or you can email me at You can also visit my website at Check out my books! Thanks!

Tuesday, August 6, 2019

Fairy Tale Spotlight: After Our Divine Spinoff

After I finished writing Our Divine Comedy and wrapped up the book for Amazon, I sat back and thought about some of the stories I had forgotten. Also there was one I intended to include, yet forgot. The latter was Job, for after reading the story in the Bible, I got the impression that it was somehow a dark comedy of sorts.

At first, I had given it up as a loss. I had not had any hurricane-induced vision to make a sequel. It felt like writing it was some sort of sacrilege. I later changed my mind, however. I just really wanted to give my perspective on these three stories.

Samson, to me, was clearly a demon hybrid sanctioned by God. Job was proof of God's mischievousness and also represented our position in the creation tiers. And then there was Saint Christopher... the Cynocephaly.

I had to take a deep breath before writing about Christopher. The problem with the story is that it is found nowhere in the Bible. It's more of a Christian legend. His story was something that I really felt strongly about. It was rather dropped in my lap one day when I found a Saint Christopher medallion laying near me at my friend's house. I had no idea who he was, so I did research on him. One thing led to another and a much greater story began to unfold.

Of all three of the stories in Our Divine Spinoff, the story of Saint Christopher is the one that means the most to me. It shows that God really is the ultimate rule breaker. There is nothing he cannot do... even when it comes to saving a legitimate demon. It has greatly strengthened my love and allegiance in Christ.

I personally learned that we are not meant to be creatures bound by petty rules and laws which change on the hour. We are free and whimsical beings like the God who created the platypus and the giraffe. We were never meant to live by a set of rules, but rather... we should find what we are good at and do what we can to make this world a better place... even by small degrees.

I am happy to say that, after writing Our Divine Spinoff, I have said what I wanted to say about life, the universe, the spirit, and all things that make up the whole of reality. I've made the effort and am pleased with the result. And though I may later be proven wrong, I know that I did my best with the resources that were given to me. And for all this, I find myself entirely content.

Thank you all for reading these blogs. Thanks to those who left comments. I responded to all of them. It's time for me to move back into the realm of fairy tales and lore and I leave the Divine series behind. And as I once said before, I'll see you all again someday... in the beginning.

Thank you for reading my blog! Did you enjoy it? Either way, you can comment below, or you can email me at You can also visit my website at Check out my books! Thanks!

Thursday, August 1, 2019

Fairy Tale Spotlight: Our Divine Spinoff, Part 43

“My question is this,” began Chris. “Christopher was not a human being. I never gathered that he was ever truly interested in Christ for his spiritual representation but simply for his desire to find the greatest king. It just seems a little weird that Christ would bother to save him.”

“Weird, huh?” chuckled God. “I guess it is a little weird, Veronica. But it still makes sense.”


“Were you really listening to the whole thing around the corner?”

“I thought you knew.”

God chuckled, “More often than not, Charlie, I don’t really care where you are. I just figured you went to get my grape flavored coconuts and got lost or something. Face it, you’re kind of an idiot. That’s why I like to dress you up like clowns and French maids. It gives you something to do. Although we need to never do that French maid one again. Dear me. That was horrible.”

“Thank you,” muttered Chris.

“But I will answer your question anyways, Elvis. Yes, it seems a bit weird that my son would even bother with a creature like Christopher. If he were a human doing the same things for the same reason, there would be no substance to it. It would just be some subservient guy looking for the biggest guy to serve.

“Christopher was willing to do anything for whoever was the greatest king of all. For a little while he even raped and pillaged for the Devil. But in the end, he did these things, even the rape and pillaging, in innocence. He was only a dog-headed man who was out to serve the greatest king of all. And because of this, he must only be judged as the dog-headed man that he was.

“Saint Christopher was and always will be a Cynocephaly, but he will go down in history as being the only Cynocephaly who ever sought out the greatest king of them all. He did so doggedly. And despite doing bad things throughout his life, Christ, my son, judged him by what he was and not by a human standard. For this reason, Saint Christopher was saved where all others had ultimately failed.”

“Is he really saved?” asked Chris.

“Yes. Saint Christopher is saved. My son did the honors. Not me. I’m retired. I spend my days doing other things.” The doorbell rang. “Oh! That must be your new fur-suit! Time to get you all dressed up so I can start calling you by your new name, Stormlion Fuzzynuts! Come on, let’s see how it fits on ya!”

God quickly jumped out of his chair to make his way to the front door. Chris groaned miserably before following him there. Still sitting quietly at the end of the table, however, was Mr. Nobody. The story he had just heard had him very thoughtful.

The end.

Thank you for reading my blog! Did you enjoy it? Either way, you can comment below, or you can email me at You can also visit my website at Check out my books! Thanks!