Pride

"Pride" by T.K. Wade (From the pages of "Wild.")

Richard was relaxed. He felt the grass between his claws as he idly drug them across the ground. He gazed up slightly at the friendly sun. It was hot but pleasant all the same. It was brief moments of peace like this that could really raise a lion’s disposition.

The cool wind that blew through his fur, the distant sounds of wildlife… it was things of that nature that made him smile. There was no reason to move; all he had to do was lay there and relax–just let the whole day pass him by with no troubles in the world. That is, until he would hear those familiar paw-steps coming his way.

Richard grumbled and turned his head away from the offending sounds. The stark voice of his mate blared out at him with all the charm of a dying cicada, “Of course. It’s so typical! Lying down on his fat ass again, while I’m off working all day! Just typical!”

The husband groaned and covered his ears. “I need the rest, Nancy! I have the entire pride lands to worry about!”

“Oh, far be it for me to interrupt such an important session of you worrying! Lord knows, we’d all be doomed if even one of your muscles were suddenly to move!”

Richard grumped to himself as he stood up. “All right, I’m up. Are you happy now?!”

“Yeah, I’m happy. I spent all day waiting for that one glorious moment when my dear and wonderful husband would… stand up! Help me drag dinner over, would you?”

Richard was shocked. “You mean you didn’t bring it up the hill?”

“Oh, then forgive me. I spent half the day trying to find and kill one. Where are my manners?”

“Hey, you act like you do all of the work! My life isn’t sunshine and roses either, Nancy! I’ve got hardships too! In case you haven’t noticed, I just happen to be king around here! That’s a lot of pressure!”

Nancy rolled her eyes. “King, my ass. I do all the work around here.”

“Killing food is women’s work! Leave the important stuff to the man!”

She scoffed and walked passed him. “You men are all the same! You sit at home and do nothing all day, and you actually think you’ve done something! Do you wanna know what happened to me today?!”

Richard asked under his breath, “If I say ‘no,’ are you still gonna tell me?”

Nancy cursed under her breath and went on to say, “I was trying to kill an antelope for you, and two of those damn hyenas came by and nearly took the thing from me! I could have been killed!”

Richard thought about that for a moment. He then asked, “The antelope wasn’t torn up too bad, was it?”

Nancy could only glare at him. Only a moment later did he realize why. He groaned and turned away from her. “As if I wasn’t in constant danger.”

“Oh, I have no doubt that everyone in the pride lands would love to steal your noble title of furry lump.”

“Are you gonna get me my damn food or not?!”

“Get it yourself!”

“Maybe, I will! Maybe, I’ll do it just to get away from your nagging for one second in my life!”

“Go on! See what it’s like to actually do something for a change!”

Richard made his way down the hill. His grumblings were full of various swear words that are too inappropriate to mention. Was this all there was to life: a job that was not going anywhere and a wife that would never shut up? It seemed to Richard that there just had to be more to all this than what he was given.

In the distance, he spotted Pauline. She was a pretty lioness that always seemed to have an eye for him. It was true that he had thought about it many times but never had the guts to go through with it.

The voice from the hill cried out, “Hurry up and get that carcass up here, you lazy good-for-nothing!”

Richard winced and decided to do as told. Something told him that if he did cheat on her, he would be dead within a few days.

-Author Notes-

I got this idea after seeing an episode of “The Honeymooners.” I had also recently found out that the female lion is the one that does all the hunting, while the male is just happy to remain at home and eat the food. I actually find this scenario relevant with humans as well. Imagine a man in a reclining chair. He has a beer in his right hand, and he does little more than watch TV while the wife does all the cooking and cleaning. Confronted with his laziness, he will come up with every excuse in the book to avoid the real issue. Lions fit this scenario flawlessly.

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