Mustelidae Spotlight: Ferret

I've been looking forward to this one. Ferrets are one of the more well-known musties and have a rap sheet a mile long. That's why we love them though. But first, let's learn a little more about them.

The ferret is actually the domesticated form of the European polecat--we'll talk about them later. These guys are pretty much always pets, but do not be fooled! They are still quite evil. Don't worry too much. They are on your side. Think of them as hapless minions that never do what you say and probably have their own agenda. Actually, maybe you should worry about them.

I have met a few ferret owners in my lifetime. Every one of them had the same thing to say about these sneaky fellows. Apparently, ferrets stink. This is actually due to a charming little scent gland located near the anus which really was intended to mark territory and attract mates. But as a pet, all it's good for is smelling bad. But the odorous qualities of this musty does not seem to stand in the way of attracting people to them.

Ferrets seem to act on their own mischievous wavelength. Yet, they understand you're the master, and if ever they need food, they know who to go to. However, these guys have an inner mechanism in their brains that just can't leave well enough alone. They have to crawl around, find things, and steal them.

You heard correctly! Ferrets are kleptomaniacs! Why do they do it?! It is the oddest thing! They pretty much just go around swiping keys, socks, money, pairs of glasses, and anything else that might appeal to them. What do they do with it, you may wonder? Nothing! All they do is put it in a hidden pile where nobody can easily find it. Why? Because it's theirs now! Really, I think its a simple as that.

My imagination goes wild for ferrets. I can't help but think these guys are planning something amazing for all that stuff. What if they are putting together some secret death-dealing devise made out of loose change and a soda can? Don't think it will work? What if the ferret knows something we don't?! These guys are not to be trusted!

I don't really know many ferrets in fiction which is really sad. The only ones that come to mind are represented in the "Welkin Weasels" series by Gary Kilworth. In his story, ferrets were mercenaries for hire. They will do anything for some money and a hot meal. That seems about right.

I wrote a short story called "The Miserly Ferret," which showcased the musty stealing money and hording it away even though it was worthless to him. I thought it was fairly symbolic of some humans in this world. There really are people like that.

I like the idea of a ferret thief or mercenary, but I think it works best when there is a secret agenda involved. Ferrets never seem to click with anyone but themselves. They are always on their own wavelength and can't seem to break free of it. They do what they must do, and everyone else is expendable. Just remember: if you plan on getting a ferret as a pet, keep all your valuables in a safe, and be sure not to mention the combination in his presence.

Thank you for reading this blog. If you enjoyed it, you can comment below, or you can email me at tooie@tooiekangaroo.com. Swipe!