Although there are a number of different kinds of badgers, we generally imagine them with gray chubby bodies and interestingly placed white stripes that run vertical across their faces down to their necks. Although, the topmost line can sometimes run all the way down their backs depending on species. Their tails can be pretty long too--sometimes as long as 20 inches. That's no reason why you should step on it though. Really, why would you do that? Do you want to lose a foot?
Badgers are well known for being ill-tempered. In fact, we tend to use the word "badgered" when someone is being mistreated by some sort of brute. I love musties with reputations! It fits! Badgers don't like dealing with anybody that doesn't fit into their carefully planned life. Anybody who gets in the way of that will get acquainted with their teeth and claws.
If you have a lot of badgers in your area, that is actually a problem. You must understand that it isn't that these musties are looking for trouble. They just don't understand that not everybody means them harm. That said, if you invade their territory, you might be in for a fight. Badgers--especially when they are protecting children--will often fight to the death with trespassers, and they are very capable of doing this. If you were to send out a pack of dogs to kill a badger, the badger might just win the fight. They are very strong and have very tough skin that protects them from harmful bites. Additionally, these guys can run. Some can gallop up to a whopping 19 miles-per-hour. No, you aren't getting away.
Imagine my surprise when I found out that badgers can be domesticated. They actually become fairly docile, but I bet they could replace a guard dog if you wanted them to. Imagine trying to sneak into a stranger's house only to get a snarling badger in your face. Goodbye, face!
Alright! Time for fiction. In fiction, there are numerous badgers. I know everyone may think this is weird, but I have not actually read the Redwall books yet. Imagine that: a book about mice, and I skipped it. However, I have watched the animated cartoon series, and I remember liking this really fun female badger named Constance. She was a powerful and strong character whose temper often came in handy for the benefit of the other characters and a nuisance to the more villainous ones. I hear there are many other badger characters in the series as well.
Another story I only saw the movie for (what's wrong with me?) was "Fantastic Mr. Fox." The badger in this movie was named Clive and he was a lawyer. There is a pun in here somewhere. Ever wonder if he badgered his witnesses? I'd be insulted if he didn't!
In the Disney movie "Robin Hood," Friar Tuck was appointed the form of a badger. He even gets to lose his temper by the end of it; although, it just ends him up in jail. Unrealistic in my opinion. The badger should have won the fight.
Before I get ridiculed for never having read a badger book, I can proudly say that I have tackled at least two of them! "Sweet Briar Goes to Camp" by Karma Wilson! Okay, so this was an adorable children's book with pictures about a cute little badger girl who goes camping with all her animal friends, but that doesn't mean it wasn't a fun read! But wait... Now that I look at the book again, I think she's a skunk. Whoops. Forget the whole first part of this paragraph! I DID run into some badgers in the "Welkin Weasel" books by Gary Kilworth. Seriously, really badgers this time! They were very ill-tempered brutes who wanted to be left alone. At one point the main character, named Sylver the weasel, had to meet with one, and there was always the glaring possibility he was about to get eaten. In all instances, it is best to stay out of a badger's territory, even if he was friends with your dad--as was the case in this book.
In my "Adventures in Cottontail Pines" books, the town is actually protected by a badger guard. The reason for this is there is a very dangerous and evil wolf prowling about the outskirts looking for animals to eat. The wolf may be bigger and stronger than anyone in the town, but he is no match for a group of badgers. I think I got the idea of friendly badgers from the Redwall episodes I saw. I like them more as ill-tempered and tough good guys rather than cruel villains. What do you think?
There is no denying that badgers have a steep reputation for being quite "badgery." Their very names have become an adjective for bad behavior. But with all the badgers we have everywhere, it's a wonder we don't just ask them to go away. Well? Did you want to volunteer for the job? Didn't think so.
Thank you for reading this blog. If you enjoyed it, you can comment below, or you can email me at tooie@tooiekangaroo.com. Growwll.
They don't look as mean as they are. I did not know they could run so fast! Leave them alone if you wish to survive.
ReplyDeleteBadgers don't tend to fear people, and this is because they know what they are capable of.
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