"An Otter Failure" has been published on Smashwords!

My newest story "An Otter Failure" has been published on Smashwords! I am very happy to share this one with the world. It is one of the most adorable ideas I have ever had. It was even based on a dream I had back in 2011. The cover was entirely the work of Coy Fields II, and I really love it. You can download a copy for yourself FREE OF CHARGE at the following link:

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/588822

Here is a synopsis:

What happens when an otter falls in love with a human being? Chaos! Suki was a cute, little female otter living in a Japanese aquarium. One day, Hotaka came to see the famous otter, and in mere moments, she knew that she was in love. Little did this man know that this particular otter was in the possession of a magical clamshell that could grant her every wish. Will she be able to use it to show him how she feels? In this adorable story by T.K. Wade, find out how love can bloom in the oddest of places.

Mustelidae Spotlight: Lesser Grison

So now we have the lesser grison. The name really does fit. He is much smaller than his greater cousin. This musty only has a body length of 20 inches and weighs a mere 5.3 pounds. They are almost entirely found in the southernmost parts of South America.

In form, they really do resemble the greater grison with their long necks, webbed feet, claws, and anal scent glands. Other than being much smaller in size, you may also recognize a distinct change in color scheme. Remember the habit-looking design from the last blog? Well, the colors are not quite as well-formed with the lesser grison, but there are other things about him to find interesting,

The lesser grison is almost entirely a land animal. He enjoys hunting down little animals like rodents, lizard, and birds. What's that? Were you expecting fish? Any reason why? Might it have to do with the mentioning of their webbed feet? Good point! It is entirely natural that you would assume that they would hunt for fish, but in reality, they don't much like the water. The fact that he has webbed toes is likely because he is related to the greater grison. Indeed, the lesser is quite capable of swimming thanks to the webbing, but he certainly wouldn't be caught doing it when there are at least thirty good reasons to stay dry.

Clearly, the most striking aspect of the lesser grison is their hunting methods. They stalk their prey relentlessly and with a fierceness that is not as indicative of his greater cousin. Their favorite food are cavis such as guinea pigs, but they also enjoy a chinchilla or two. But here is where things become very weird. Lesser grisons are known to play with their prey for up to 45 minutes before finally killing and eating them up. Can you imagine this creatures chasing you around only to let you run off for a bit before ultimately finishing you off? Talk about cruel!

This playfulness actually allows the lesser grison to be easily domesticated and re-purposed into hunting companions. Their eagerness to hunt and kill come in handy especially in obtaining those very valuable chinchilla pelts. You can imagine how they might work in groups at the command of a human.

The latter statements have a great effect on the fiction side of these musties. I see the lesser grison as a cocky and cruel bandit who picks on the small and helpless. He enjoys making his victims experience a nightmare before finally following through with it. Only the most adept fighters can stop him from completing the act. I like this idea. I am always fond of villains that are interesting like this. What do you think?

The difference from greater to lesser is large enough to make both grisons worthy of a spotlight. It is interesting how the lesser seems far more cruel than his greater counterpart. In a way it reminds me of the terrible youth who strikes out at the world for no better reason than to sate his own fevered lusts, while the adult shakes his head at him with severe concern. From animals, we can often see into the nature of humans themselves, and that is why we like them.

Thank you for reading this blog. If you enjoyed it, you can leave a comment below, or you can email me at tooie@tooiekangaroo.com. So long!

The Fox and the Snake

"The Fox and the Snake" A fable by T.K. Wade.

A fox had heard word that snakes were known for their abilities in killing prey. Thinking snakes to be very slow and stupid creatures, the fox challenged the snake to a killing contest. The snake agreed to this and allowed the fox to have the first go. The fox hunted all day and killed every little animal he could find–eating them up. Indeed, he became quite fat. To the snake, he said, “As you can see, I have had no troubles in the hunt. My belly is full. Now, I would like to see a slithering snake do likewise. I do not believe you can do it.” And the fox was correct. The snake found it impossible to kill so many as his opponent, and this caused him to lose the contest. After all, he only managed to kill and eat one fat fox.

Mustelidae Spotlight: Greater Grison

Every once in a while, we'll run into a mustie who isn't quite as well-known or really as interesting as the other more popular ones. At this point, we really have covered many of the greats, but there are still others. Today, let us have a brief look at a mustie known as the greater grison. There are two species of Grison, and you may imagine that the other one would be called the lesser. This is correct. He is an entire different conversation. The greater grison has his own particulars that got my attention, but first, let's look at what he is all about.

Greater grisons have a somewhat "badgery" look to them mainly in color scheme. They are about 24 inches long from head to tail about about 8 pounds in weight. They are slender, have short legs, a short bushy tail, but a surprisingly long neck. Their feet are webbed with five toes on each foot which have long claws on them. They come in a stunning variety of two color schemes: black and grey... and also grey and black. They can be located mainly in South and Central America.

The greater grisons are also known for being good swimmers as well as adept tree climbers. This is very good since they like a little variety in what they eat. It seemed to me that they really do prefer land--unlike the otters who can't get enough of the water. This mustie prefers solid ground and will only go swimming as a means of hunting up fish. Another interesting tidbit about the greater grison is their anal scent glands--this being similar to what the skunks have. They can even spray as a self-defense mechanism or as a means of marking territory. Personality wise, they don't seem like bad fellows. There is a sort of quiet loneliness about them, but they don't seem like the hostile sort at all.

The one thing that stands out to me about these musties is how their coat colors are arranged. Generally, they have a black undercoat, and a light grey "top," which wraps about the top of the head and drapes along the back as if it was some sort of habit. The line from grey to black is sometimes blurred, but other times, it can be heavily defined. Those are the ones I particularly fancy, and I will explain why.

The greater grison is unheard-of in fiction, but I expected that. This mustie is one of the many unappreciated in the animal kingdom. Because of their "habit" look, I like to see them as little holy people who live on their own taking care of themselves. I think the look works for them in this way. Their out-of-the-way aspect assist with this image and makes people wonder at who they really are. But you must understand that there could be a number of ways to interpret them. This was just the first thing that my imagination gave me. I'd love to hear what other people might see in them. It could be the exact opposite. Look at the pictures and try to figure an idea out for yourself.

One thing I do want to mention before I end this is just how wonderful they look when they are hunting. They appear to me very focused and calm. There is a look in their eyes that I find fascinating--very expressive. Let me know what you think.

Next week, we will discuss his cousin: the lesser grison. You may find him equally as interesting despite what his name suggests!

Thank you for reading this blog. If you enjoyed it, please comment below, or you can email me at tooie@tooiekangaroo.com. Bless.

"The Death of Olympus" has been published on Smashwords!

My new story "The Death of Olympus" is available at Smashwords for $0.99! This is possibly the most eloquent story I have ever written! You don't want to miss this one! And also check out the awesome cover drawn by Chris Buffaloe! Check it out here:

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/585558

Here is a synopsis: 

In the future, the population of the earth is reduced to a mere five hundred million. A small group of transhumans called the Immortals rule the entire world from their great city Olympus. Enter Kaitlyn Little, a young mortal woman who enjoys writing stories. The only problem is that mortals are not allowed to create fiction; however, John Smith, an eminent Immortal, becomes interested in her gift. In this dramatic new vision by T.K. Wade, find out how this simple girl challenges all that the Immortals have come to cherish.

The Mule Who Put On Airs

"The Mule Who Put On Airs" A fable by T.K. Wade.

Once, there was a mule who thought he was not respected. He saw how the horses were fed the best hay and were shod in the finest metal. Thinking he deserved such things, he marched inside and partook of the feast as if he belonged there. “What are you doing?” asked a horse. Said the mule, “Am I not a living beast as you? I shall take what I want.” “But what have you done to deserve such things?” asked another horse. The mule replied, “I slave for the farmer who beats me in an unjustified way when I stop to rest. I am a mistreated animal, and therefore, I shall eat the best hay as recompense.” The horses saw that this mule was deserving of no special treatment, so they all struck him with their hooves until he was run off. As the mule limped away, he said to himself, “I did not ask to be born into such responsibility. Woe is me!”

Birth accompanies no entitlements.

Mustelidae Spotlight: Giant Otter

Welcome to South America where the otters grow to a whopping 5.6 feet in length! Goodness! The giant otter--a name well deserved--is actually the longest member of the mustelidae family. Best of all, you know these guys are sweet because they look like they're made of chocolate. That's right! I said it! All those "otter" guys aren't made of chocolate!

The giant otter is so big that to see one is a little imposing. They come in large groups too. Like many other species of otter--dismissing the European variety--these musties love the fellowship of others. They also like to play. Imagine how much noise these big guys would make splashing about all day long. Actually, it might be nosier than you'd think.

Giant otters talk! Well, sort of. They have a complex lexicon of sounds that they make which all mean something particular. Little "hah hah" sounding barks are used to express interest in something. It is a little like saying, "Oh, look! There's a friendly fish I can eat!" It can also mean something spooky like: "Oh, look! That fish is staring at me funny. Maybe, I should eat it." The latter sound was also described--in my research--as an explosive snort. I am still trying to figure out what that would sound like. Giant otters also employ a sort of screaming sound which is akin to yelling out, "I found the fish! Attack!" They also sometimes coo and make cute noises which means to say, "I love you. Please, let me eat your fish." Unfortunately, newborn pups can only squeak which is too bad since only mice could understand anything they are saying. Really, I researched this!

As you may have figured out by now, giant otters feed mainly on fish. Oddly, however, they tend to be independent hunters. This contrasts from their usual group mentality. They will almost always hunt as individuals. They tend to find their own spot and stick to it. Nobody else is allowed there. That's there fishing spot. No one else is allowed to go to... "otter space!" Still, I don't see why the extra fish can't be shared.

Groups of giant otters generally have a pecking order. A colony is usually ruled by a mated pair. It almost feels like a monarchy in this respect. Behold! His Majesty, King Otto, and his wife, Queen Fishface! Trust me, she has earned that name.

In fiction, the giant otter is mostly in legends. But I warn you: a lot of it is really weird. In an Achurar folk story, giant otters are water spirits who assisted a man who had wasted his sexual energy. Now, just bear with me for a moment. The story says that the otters helped create the anacondas of the world from the man's--and I quote--"distressed and extended genitals." The Asian otter tales are sounding pretty good right now. The Bororo believe that people who swallowed a tobacco leaf instead of smoking it would turn into a giant otter. Seems reasonable. In a more fairy-like tale, the Kichwa people believed in someone named Yaku who ruled over the water and fish. Cutely, the giant otters served as her own personal canoes. I like this story better than the genital-snake one.

Comically, I see these particular otters as happy fish enthusiasts. They have these events where they sit around a table and sample different types of fish and discuss in intricate detailed about which fish is better than others. Sound "fishy" to me, but I suppose such events are "prawn" to such behavior. But with these guys, any"fin" is possible.

Okay. I am so sorry I did that.

Anyways, the giant otter is definitely deserving of the musty hall-of-fame for being the largest of them all. And for being made of chocolate. Okay, in the future, I really need to relax before I write these things. I hope you enjoyed all the otter blogs! You "otter" come back next week! There might be fish!

Thank you for reading this incredibly silly blog. If you enjoyed it, you can comment below, or you can email me at tooie@tooiekangaroo.com. EXPLOSIVE SNORT!