My New Published Book: "The Steadfast Tin Soldier"

A TIMELESS ROMANCE! 

An American toy soldier known as Private James falls deep into the pits of hate and madness for the sake of a beautiful ballerina and his own dream of a better world. Despite the absence of one leg, James stands against despair, even when there is no hope left. But how can a simple toy soldier make a difference? Is love stronger than ancient evil?

Hans Christian Andersen's classic "The Steadfast Tin Soldier" gets a Americanized reimagining in this tale written by T.K. Wade and beautifully illustrated by Chris Buffaloe.

Amazon Paperback: $6.99

Amazon Kindle: $2.99

www.tkwade.com

Fairy Tale Spotlight: The Child and the Hyena

I wrote this short fable in 2011. I'll comment fully after presenting to you. Enjoy!

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A curious child separated from his father when he heard the cackling of a hyena in the distance, and when he did approach the beast, he asked, “Are you laughing at me?” To which the hyena replied with a sinister glare, “I do not laugh at you but for the folly of a father who does nothing to keep watch over his own child in such a dangerous place.”

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This is actually my least favorite of my fables. That is not to say that I hate it, but I rather enjoy my other ones much more. Nevertheless, let's have a look at it.

The story is not particularly clever in its presentation. I know I sound a bit self critical, but every time I read this I just feel like some part of it is flat. I went for the stereotype of a laughing hyena. If you have ever heard a hyena, they really do sound like they are giggling. The story is more or less just mocking parents who are not being as responsible with their children as they should be. Although this is an important lesson to learn, I don't think the story really survives entirely on the laughing hyena joke. It just feels harsh to me especially when you realize the child is likely about to die.

I did not include a moral because it was probably pretty clear by the last line. Aesop often left the moral section blank when the story was painfully self explanatory. And the story does very well follow the formula and style of an Aesop story. I think it is passable, but I definitely did better fables than this later on.

Do you agree with my self-criticism? Was I too rough or was I correct in bashing the story? I want to know how you feel about it! Also if you have a moral that you think belongs tagged to this story, what would it be? Please let me know!

Thank you for reading my blog! Did you enjoy? If so you can comment below, or you can email me at tkwadeauthor@gmail.com. You can also visit my website at www.tkwade.com. Thanks!

Fairy Tale Spotlight: What is an Alien?

My dictionary of choice is the 1928 Webster's American Dictionary of the English Language. It is my go-to dictionary whenever I am trying to get the definition to a word without the cloud of modern political correctness. I agree with about 95% of what I see there. Recently, I wanted to write a spotlight about aliens and I figured I'd stop by the book and see what it had to say on the matter. What I found was a lot of repetition of the words "Foreign" and "Estranged." It also described an alien as "not belonging to the same country, land or government." Another way to describe an alien is as "a foreigner." In religious context, an alien would be "one who is a stranger to the church of Christ, or to the covenant of grace." All very interesting.

There is no reference to space aliens. This is likely because the book came before the popularized space alien tropes really got rolling in literature. Nevertheless, they were still there and people did always wonder. Much of the alien references simply applied to anybody who did not belong. Space aliens are named as such because they do not belong on Earth. They come from elsewhere and are here either as visitors or invaders. An alien, as a mere word, does not really explain what the alien is but only suggests that they are from elsewhere. Simply being an alien does not mean you are from another planet. It can just as easily mean you are from Mexico or Canada. The word is extremely generalized.

A space alien is assumed to come from somewhere in the depth of outer space. The word "space" rather denotes this. But we often just call anything strange or otherworldly an alien. We expect certain things from this--namely that they don't look human. Aliens can just as easily come from different planes of existence. They can be from Earth but a different plane of earth--alternate dimensions to our own. We may sometimes see them in mirrors or on photographs. These creatures are, by the very definition of the word, aliens. They are creatures that are not of our world.

It is believed that these otherworldly beings can breach into our own dimension. They can communicate with us and even help us out in ways. We tend to call them different things, but that doesn't make them any less alien. They are from somewhere foreign. They do not actually belong here. They're assistance is probably not in our best interest.

Throughout history we have encountered these aliens. They were given interesting names such as fairies, trolls, spirit guides, manikins, angels, and demons. We interacted with them without understanding that they were not human and did not belong here at all. Sometimes they were even worshiped. Deals were made. Slaves were took. Stories were written to document these incidents and we now call them fairy tales.

Today we still entertain these aliens. We see them all the time but in different ways than our ancestors did. They are still here. They still have the same agendas. And as long as we continue to tolerate them, inhuman practices will still invade our lifestyles. These otherworldly aliens are not human. They do not understand humans and they never will. Why? Because they are alien, foreign, estranged. They do not belong here. Stop... inviting... them... in.

Thank you for reading my blog! Did you enjoy it? Did you hate it? Either way, you can comment below, or you can email me at tkwadeauthor@gmail.com. You can also visit my website at www.tkwade.com. Thanks!

Fairy Tale Spotlight: The Mule Who Put On Airs

My 2015 fable "The Mule Who Put on Airs" has a message that has stuck with me. It is representative of a fatal flaw within humans that seems to only be getting worse. Pay very close attention. Chances are you have met a person like the mule in the story. Enjoy!

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Once, there was a mule who thought he was not respected. He saw how the horses were fed the best hay and were shod in the finest metal. Thinking he deserved such things, he marched inside and partook of the feast as if he belonged there. “What are you doing?” asked a horse. Said the mule, “Am I not a living beast as you? I shall take what I want.” “But what have you done to deserve such things?” asked another horse. The mule replied, “I slave for the farmer who beats me in an unjustified way when I stop to rest. I am a mistreated animal, and therefore, I shall eat the best hay as recompense.” The horses saw that this mule was deserving of no special treatment, so they all struck him with their hooves until he was run off. As the mule limped away, he said to himself, “I did not ask to be born into such responsibility. Woe is me!”

Moral: Birth accompanies no entitlements.

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This fable was written in a very similar style to that of Aesop. The character's roles were quickly presented and executed. Fables were always intended to be brief, and this story is as brief as it can possibly be considering the material that needed to be presented.

You will also note that multiple lines of conversational dialog are wrapped up in the same paragraph. Most fables do this as another way to keep the story from taking up too much space. Certain grammar rules simply get dropped for that reason.

Once again, a moral is included. I do not always feel confident about my morals, but in this case, I cannot even imagine a more perfectly written one. It sums up the purpose of the story eloquently. I am quite proud of this one.

But let's get serious about what it means...

I am sorry, but everyone--and I mean everyone--has the short time that they are alive to prove themselves. There was never meant to be free rides for anyone. I consider lazy entitled people to be one of the greatest evils on this planet. This rather traditionally written fable shows this problem perfectly.

Everyone wants to be fair. People seem to think that we all deserve the same treatment. If we were all equally good people then that would make sense. But unfortunately there are many out there who are trying as hard as they can to milk the system for all that it is worth while simultaneously trying to work as little as they can.

There is an insane belief among many people that we all deserve to be treated fairly. That simply isn't true. Those who work hard deserve such things. They may not get it, but they do deserve it. But there are many who clearly don't deserve anything good because they never bothered to be good themselves. I see this all the time. What is worse is that these entitled brats can get very ugly and cruel when their free ride is taken away from them. They will sometimes even cause harm to others in revenge.

There are good people and there are bad people--which all depends on the decisions they make. Blanket entitlements embolden the bad and cripples the good. The mule in the story felt entitled to wealth simply for having been born. He even used the popular excuse that he did not ask to be born. That is actually not an excuse. We all have the right to choose to be good people and help out or to be a lazy good-for-nothing that is ultimately a blight on the world.

I do not like these people.

I do not need these people.

Our world would be better if they all disappeared.

ALL PEOPLE SHOULD STRIVE TO BE BETTER!

Thank you for reading my blog! Did you enjoy it? Did you hate it? Either way, you can comment below, or you can email me at tkwadeauthor@gmail.com. Also you can visit my website at www.tkwade.com. Thanks!

Fairy Tale Spotlight: The Alien and the Talk Show Host

"The Alien and the Talk Show Host" by T.K. Wade

(The following story was written in about one hour and in one sitting on 6-25-18.)

"Welcome back," said Johnny Fez as the music played him back in. "Well, that's all we have for today." The audience booed. " No? There was something else?" He adjusted his tie and chuckled. "You got me, folks. We saved the best for last.

"As you know, there's been a lot of hullabaloo in the news lately about this man going around saying he is an alien. Doctors across the world claim that he seems to exhibit strange readings whenever they examine him. Not sure what that really means, but at the very least, it seems to have given his claim some credence.

"Anyways, I'm just babbling. Why don't we give you all a chance to decide for yourselves. Kelsey Forester, ladies and gentlemen!" Johnny stood up and clapped as a handsome man in a suit and tie walked onto the stage. The audience clapped with him as Mister Forester waved at them before shaking hands with the host. Soon they were sitting down next to one another and seemed to exchange a few friendly words as the applause settled down.

"Alright," said Johnny. "I guess you could say this is the interview of my career. An alien! Who knew?!"

Kelsey chuckled and joked, "It's the whole reason I stopped by, Johnny."

"Hey, when ratings are going down the chute, just bring in the aliens, I always say."

"Good plan."

Johnny straightened a few papers out of habit. "So, just so we are clear and I didn't just pull a random somebody out of my audience, you are an alien, correct?"

"Yes. I am entirely an alien."

"Aright, and how is Canada this time of year?"

Mister Forester laughed. "No, no. Nice try."

"So we talking about outer space here?"

"Yes and no. A little bit of both."

"Yes, you've always been a bit vague on that one. One thing that always makes me skeptical was how much you look like a human being."

"I never said I wasn't human," said Kelsey.

"So you are a human... but an alien human."

"Yes and no."

"Well at least you're being clear," said the host with a chuckle. The audience laughed with him.

Kelsey smiled and waved him off lightly. "Humans are the creatures of this planet... so naturally a human would be the best creature to be."

"Oh, no. I see what you mean. It's just that if you had wiggly antenna on your head or green skin, it might be a bit more convincing. I mean no offense to the football fans I hung out with the other day who looked pretty much the same."

Kelsey chuckled. "I got to chose what I looked like and a human being just made the most sense. Besides, if I looked like some sort of insect, it would have been less likely for me to appear on your show."

Johnny nodded. "At the very least, I would have to cancel the contract with our extermination people." The audience laughed. "No, my point is really that there has not really been much evidence, other than the medical examinations, that have really promoted what you are claiming. And some have said that you have merely used trickery to corrupt those medical scans."

"If I could be honest," began Kelsey, "I don't think the scans are failing as much as the doctors who are not prepared to see what is obviously there."

"So it is somehow the doctors failing--the technician's failing. They could not comprehend the true nature of your alien physique. Is that what you are saying?"

"Either that or the technology simply does not understand what it is seeing. One or the other."

"Alright," nodded Johnny. "That's fine. We'll give you that. Nothing more though. We need to know a bit more before we're going to believe you. I always fill my audience full of skeptics just in case one of my jokes falls flat. That way they'll know I'm really an impostor." The audience laughed and Kelsey chuckled.

"What do you need then, Johnny?" asked Mister Forester.

"Well, for starters, you can do something 'alien' for us."

"Like what?"

"Okay, I guess I am making all the suggestions here. Levitation." He picked up a pen and placed it at the edge of his desk. "Make this float off my desk."

"And that would convince you that I am an alien?"

"Well, it won't really put marks against you--I'll say that much."

"I hate to say this, but I can't make anything levitate. Even before I came to this planet, I wasn't able to do that."

Johnny picked up the pen with a nod and said, "I dunno, Kelsey, but I'm tempted to put a strike against you."

"Any reason why?"

"Well, you did put the qualifying factor into my hands, and I chose levitation. I mean... If you don't think that's fair then fine."

"No, no. That's fair. We'll call that strike one against me."

"Very neighborly of you. What do you think, folks?!" The audience clapped. Johnny continued, "So the next thing that would seem very alien to me would be technological. We've always assumed aliens came through spaceships and had heat rays or freeze rays depending on how you wanted your coffee prepared." The audience chuckled. "So I guess what I am saying is... show me the tech!"

"You sure you are ready to see the sort of tech I use?" asked Kelsey.

"You bet, sir. Blow my mind."

Kelsey Forester reached into his pocket and produced a smart phone. "Aliens of today bring their PCs with them in the form of these amazing devices called cell phones. I also have a digital watch." The audience laughed and Johnny joined them. However, when the laughter died down, the host chuckled and made a mark on a piece of paper saying, "I guess we'll call that strike two." The audience was restored to laughter. Kelsey merely smiled.

"So far we are 'oh' for two. But I'm feeling pretty generous. I'll give you one more chance."

"I appreciate it, Johnny," smiled the guest.

"Telepathy. I want you to read my mind." Johnny leaned back in his chair and grinned at his guest as if he was purposely trying to "think" something at him.

Kelsey chuckled and shook his head. "Johnny, I am not sure why anyone would want to read something quite as boring as another man's thoughts."

"Humor me."

"Your thoughts are uninteresting," said Kelsey.

"So that's a negative on telepathy then?"

"Mister Fez, why would I read the words of your thoughts when what lies deeper is far more interesting."

Johnny raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean exactly?"

"Who you are. What sort of man you are under all those uninteresting thoughts. The kind of man who layers joke after joke atop a far more fascinating darkness. The kind of darkness that leads to sexual deviancies with girls under the age of twelve. The kind of darkness that causes you to beat your wife to a point where she had entirely fallen out of the view of the public--not simply because she has been sick as of late. The kind of darkness that ultimately drew you to me. Ultimately, Mister Fez, you are a very strong and powerful man, and you know how to treat those who are below you. But what rests on the top layer--your thoughts--those things simply don't interest me."

The room was dead silent. Johnny Fez had been looking at his desk for nearly the entire time and idly flicking his pen up and down. Without looking up, he said, "And that... is strike three."

"Sure it is, Johnny," replied Kelsey with a smile.

"That's all the time we have for today," said Johnny calmly. "Take care, and goodnight." The camera quietly panned away from the two in silence, and ultimately the screen blacked out.

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Thanks for reading my blog! Did you enjoy it? Did you hate it? Either way, you can comment below or you can email me at tkwadeauthor@gmail.com. You can also visit my website at www.tkwade.com! Thanks!

Fairy Tale Spotlight: The Fox and the Wolf

Not to be confused with Aesop's "The Wolf and the Fox!" Completely different fable. We may go into that one later. For now, I would very much like you to read a fable I personally wrote in 2011 called "The Fox and the Wolf." Enjoy!

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A fox and a wolf had located a hen house at the same time and were unable to decide who would get the first catch. The fox thought of a way to settle the dispute and said, “I propose a fight. Whoever kills the other will take the hens for himself.” “That is acceptable for I can easily kill a fox,” replied the wolf. The fox then added, “I will need some time to ready myself. We shall meet here again tomorrow morning, and then we will fight.” The two parted ways, and on the first light of morning, the wolf returned. However he found no fox, and upon checking the hen house, there was not one morsel to be found.

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Those poor chickens! It seems that they were entirely used as a plot device for me to make my point. I'll cry about it later while dining out at KFC. In any case, this story employs one of the oldest tropes in fable history--that being the crafty fox.

Obviously a wolf would have no difficulties fighting or even killing a fox. The wolf in the story knew that. He was confident in his ability to win the contest. When the fox says that he needs time to get ready, the wolf thought this was fair. That was ultimately his mistake. The wolf concerned himself with fairness. He was also rather cocky, by the way. Never a good sign.

The problem here is that both sides are essentially evil. They are both billed as thieves in the story. Here is the thing about evil men: Alliances between them tend to be fickle or even entirely forged to begin with. A pact made with a criminal should be expected to be broken. The fox never had any intention of coming back to fight the wolf. The wolf was stupid and got what he deserved.

I did not give this story a moral. Aesop often omitted morals for many of his stories. But if I had to force myself, I'd say that the moral should be "There is no honor among thieves." Do you agree with it? Why not try making one yourself that fits better with my fable! I'd love to hear what you come up with!

Thank you for reading my blog! Did you enjoy it? Either way, you can comment below or email me at tkwadeauthor@gmail.com. Also, you can visit my website at www.tkwade.com. Thank you!

Fairy Tale Spotlight: Next Time

I have been into a Japanese band called the Seat Belts for a long time. The owner of this group is a woman named Yoko Kanno. She has made many kinds of music in her career. Much like my previous blog concerning Hazmat Modine's "Bahamut," Yoko also made a fairy tale song with a very clever story to it that makes you think critically about the effect chaos has on our society.

The song is called "Next Time." Before I get into too much detail about it, I am pleased to present you with the complete lyrics. A link to the actual audio will be provided at the end of the blog. And now, here are the complete lyrics to Yoko Kono's "Next Time!"

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We are the spooks
Behind all ideas
We wreck and we ruin
And we gloat and we creep
Call us the jinx
The hex or the kinks
But don't misconstrue our intention

We loosen screws
And cross all the wires
Rattle and shake
And we set all the fires
We will destroy
All that you create
'Cause we are the trolls of invention

Comatose radios
A speciality 'case you don't know
Broken hose overdose
We cause all these problems just so
You'll try harder next time

We come at night
And we gave you fire
Visit your dreams
Where we plan and inspire
When you are awake
You have new ideas
Emaculate gadget conception

Crash and burn, unconcerned
Your stamina is delighful
Bruised and blurred, live and learn
We cause all these problems just so
You'll do better next time

La la la...
Without us, you'd still be in the dark ages
Stumbling 'round wishing you had light
Make and we break so you make and we break everything again
Break so you make and we break so that the new age can begin

We are the spooks
Of all new ideas
We wreck and we ruin
And we crush and we creep
Call us the jinx
The hex or the kinks
But we are the souls of invention

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I found this song a very long time ago. I was still a kid when I was finding out about Yoko Kanno through her work in the anime Cowboy Bebop. I loved the music on that show which made me look into other music she did. As it turned out, I ended up getting a copy of just about every track she released.

This particular song puzzled me at first. The lyrics are sung by a man named Mr. Francesco Sansalone. He slurs and mispronounces nearly every word. It took me a bunch of tries just to figure out what he was saying. After listening to it for like the 30th time, I started to figure out what was going on. A fairy tale was being told in the form of a song.

The story is about a bunch of creatures called the "Trolls of Invention." The idea of it was that every machine made by man was innately perfect and would work forever. Enter the trolls. They would come in and essentially break the machine. When the human returned the next day, they would realize that what they thought was a perfect machine was really not. To remedy this, they would build a better machine that trumped the old one entirely. This was the goal of the Trolls of Invention: Progress.

The trolls represented chaos being introduced to a perfect system. When one thinks of the word "chaos," he may see something like an explosion or the destruction of something. In reality, it was chaos that seemed to push man forward. This is actually a very real concept.

Humans seem to thrive best when they are pushed with adversity. War inevitably leads to industrial revolutions of some kind. The stagnancy of a population does not lead to any sort of progress. In fact they tend to go insane. People tend to be content with what they have if nothing interferes of it. Change is often difficult to accept and generally unwanted altogether.

Imperfection is the key to moving forward within reality. Everything breaks and must be fixed. And the idea of fixing something should not be to create the same thing but to make something better. The Trolls of Invention simply represent this concept in the form of little demons.

I am very glad that I finally got to talk about this song. It is something I have carried with me since I was young. I hope it will inspire you as much as it did me.

If you want to hear the song for yourself, it is available at YouTube at the following link: Click here!

Thank you for reading my blog! Did you enjoy it? If so, you can comment below, or you can email me at tkadeauthor@gmail.com. Also I write and public books! You can check out my selection at www.tkwade.com! Thanks!