Rodent Spotlight: Josephoartigasia Monesi

Ladies and gentlemen: Welcome to the very last Rodent Spotlight blog. It has been almost two years since I began doing this. The very first one was posted way back on July 13, 2013. I have thoroughly enjoyed every moment in researching and writing about the many rodents out there. Although, there are still other species that I missed, I believed I have covered all the most interesting ones.

It's actually rather hard for me to believe it's over. One thing that I did not expect was how much I was going to personally learn about rodents throughout this endeavor. I am far from being an expert in the field of animals. I am really just an author who has a profound appreciation for cute, crittery things. The experience has opened my mind to new species and possibilities in fiction, and for that, I am infinitely thankful.

But this blog isn't about saying goodbye after all. We have yet one more rodent whose story needs to be told. If you remember the last couple of blogs, we learned about the very interesting infraorder of cavimorpha which is responsible for giving us the fat little, guinea pig, the amphibious paca, the poorly-named pacarana, and his prehistoric cousin the phoberomys pattersoni. (Also known as Ratzilla!) As big as the last one was, there was still one rodent greater than even he. I present to you the entirely unpronounceable rodent known as the josephoartigasia monesi. (J. monesi for short.)

The J. monesi was the end-all, be-all of giants within the rodent kingdom. This creature was a surprising 10 feet long from head to tail and stood at a height of 5 feet. Likely the most impressive to me, however, was its weight. There has been some disagreement over how heavy this massive rodent was, but it was finally agreed on. Can you imagine a rodent weighing 2,000 pounds? That is one full ton! Unbelievable! Do not--I repeat--DO NOT let this guy sit on you!

Obviously, this is not a rodent you'd wanna keep as a pet. Where it is true, he was entirely an herbivore, there is just nowhere to keep a 2,000 pound animal in your house. These jokes stem from the fact that when most of us hear the word "rodent" mentioned, we automatically think of very small creatures. We think of either a tiny pest or a tiny pet. The J. monesi breaks that stereotype in half with its big, giant feet.

In my unpublished universe called "Tooth and Tail," I had portrayed the capybaras as giants among the normal sized rodents of that world. If the capybaras were giants, then what the heck were these guys?! I suppose we have different ideas for what the word "giant" can mean. The capybaras were just really massive and tall, but only about 10 feet. The J. monesi would be the more fairy tale form of giant. He would be able to make a chair out of the roof of a house and eat entire trees like they were bits in a salad. Remember, he IS still a vegetarian.

Imagination is an interesting thing, isn't it? Much of the fictional portions of these blogs were really not about anything that was real. Animal's can't talk, nor do they wear clothing or live like we do; however, there is a very special part of us that allows us to see them doing it. And this special sight we have can visualize in a way that seems so real that you can almost reach your hand out and touch it. That either means that we are completely crazy, or we are amazingly talented creatures. Imagination--whether it makes proper sense or not--has the unique ability to inspire others to do amazing things. After all, I saw rodents and ended up writing books about them where they were portrayed as civilized people.

It is very important to always be honest about that which you love. No one but you should have a say in such things. When you find that thing that you love, do whatever you can with it! Write a story, draw a picture, write a blog about it for two years! Let that thing inspire you, and then create from it with all of your heart. Never let it go. It is yours, and you have the right and even the responsibility to do great things with it. And with that, I shall say goodbye to my Rodent Blog, but do not worry! There is so much more I wish to write about. Stay tuned!

Thank you for reading this blog. If you enjoyed it, you can comment below, or you can email me at tooie@tooiekangaroo.com. Until next time!