My species goes by a few different names. Other than the entirely classy title of black-footed ferret, we are also sometimes called American polecats, or the very apt title of prairie dog hunter. But no matter what you call us, we are awesome, and also, we are awesome. Did I mention that we are awesome?!
So, T.K. Wade usually gives measurements about now. I took a measuring tape and wrapped myself in it. It sure was fun, but I didn't learn anything. Us ferrets don't have much use for numbers anyways. Let's just say that I have the perfect length because I am awesome!
As the latter name suggests, I really dig those prairie dogs for my vittles. The only problem is that sometimes when I chase them, they run away. This is annoying. How am I supposed to have a yummy prairie dog meal if it runs away from me? That is not awesome. Many of us black-footed ferrets--as well as other musties--were going hungry cause of this. We got all our ferret scientists together and formed a think tank in an effort to solve the perplexing issue.
We finally came up with a solution. If as first you don't succeed, just go crazy! That's right! When we have trouble catching our food, we perform something known as the "Weasel War Dance!" It is a fairly complicated procedure, but in layman's terms, we jump, roll, skip, run into things, fall over, shake our butts, and do about twenty other top secret maneuvers which all coalesce into attracting the attention of our prey and making them say, "What the heck am I looking at?" And that, my friends, is when we strike.
It really works. Remember, all those many musties came together to create the "Weasel War Dance," and it is a very top secret affair. I have seen some human's try to perform a similar dance--one they apparently call "Break Dancing," but it has yet to get them anything more than money. Not that money is a bad thing. I love money myself. It's all very shiny, but it won't feed you as well as a good, fat prairie dog will.
There is no fiction about my species, but there should be. I think we are very awesome animals. We could be spell casters who cast spells by dancing. It could be a whole tribe of dancers, if you think about it. We could have an entire community who all sleep together at night while wrapped in measuring tape. Sounds like paradise to me!
Thank you for reading this awesome blog written by an awesome ferret. If you enjoyed this awesome blog, you can comment about how awesome it was in the awesome section below, or you can send an awesome email to T.K. Wade at tooie@tooiekangaroo.com. Awesome!
I see humility is not one of their strong suits. I like the way they go crazy to distract their prey. But wrapping themselves up in measuring tape is just too much.
ReplyDeleteWe have to size up our prey somehow, Don! XD
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