The honey badger is actually very large. From head to tail, he measures a whopping 30 inches with a tail that can be as long as 11.8 inches. In addition to this already large number, he has an impressive shoulder height of 11 inches. Chances are, you will see this musty coming. The honey badger is actually the largest terrestrial mustie in Africa. I'd pin a ribbon on him, but it would never stick. I'll tell you why shortly.
Honey badgers have a reputation for being large and dangerous. They have an amazing offense and defense--rather than just one or the other. Offense-wise, they have very sharp claws, but I was particularly fascinated with their teeth. If there is one thing that nearly every mustie has, it is a fine set of teeth. But really, the honey badger has got to have the most disorderly dental problems of all time. Their teeth regularly grow in weird uneven patterns, and this really does seem to be a defect of the species. Still, you would not want to be bit by one. If only they could afford an orthodontist!
Defense-wise, it all comes down to having a coat that is so thick and coarse that not even dogs can tear into it. This coat nearly makes the creature invincible, and it comes especially handy when trying to get to its favorite food: honey. The bees can sting and sting all they want, but it won't bother the honey badger one bit. A secondary defense comes in the form of a bizarre anal pouch which produces one of the most terrible smells that has ever existed in nature. It is positively suffocating. Apparently, this special brand of stink also assists with the bees. Half of them pass out before they even get a chance to sting him. Yep, that rear of his is a real scent-sation! Okay, moving on...
Although honey badgers prefer honey, they actually don't care what they eat. Just put it in front of them, and they'll try it. Just think of him as nature's vacuum cleaner. If you won't, I certainly will. It is amazing how many musties have specialized diets. The honey badger simply does not care what it eats, and that makes it very versatile in the wilds of Africa.
Honey Badgers are also very clever. Like some species of otter, these musties are known to use tools for various tasks. They can use sticks, mud, or just about anything to make something happen. It is almost impossible to trap a honey badger for this reason. They tend to figure out how to use its surroundings to find a way out, and then it will try to bite of your face as punishment!
The honey badger in fiction is somewhat intermixed with its personality. In most fiction, the honey badger is portrayed as an unfeeling and dangerous beast that kills for no other reason than it's Tuesday. There are a couple reasons for this. The mustie is actually very aggressive but also seems to never really have the optics of aggression. He looked rather bored when he chased off a pack of lions and made off with their food. (Yes, that really happened.) So, they have a reputation for acting this way.
The second reason actually came in the form of a viral video called "Crazy Nastyass Honey Badgers" from 2011. This was actually a comical dubbing of a National Geographic video where a narrator going by the name Randall showed us images of a honey badger invading beehives, being bitten by cobras, and doing all other manner of crazy things while living through all of it. The tagline of the whole thing was that "Honey Badgers Don't Care" which was also the title of a book he released that same year.
After this video captured both the hearts and disgust of the public, everyone had to have their own honey badger moment in their movie or video game. There was even a comic book series called "Honey Badger" about how the indifferent mustie takes on the world without having any feelings for anything at all ever. I actually own one of the issues. Also, Disney's new TV show "The Lion Guard" has a honey badger character named Bunga. Face it, this musty is too cool to disappear.
This blog has already gone a bit too long, so let me end it with my own take. It is clear that if anyone likes the honey badger, he likes him for being an uncaring, invincible jerk that just does whatever he wants without suffering the consequences. He has all the power in the world, but doesn't care one way or another. In the end, he is just a highly skilled nobody that is fun to watch, and that is why we keep talking about him. I suppose we have Randall to thank for popularizing this mustie, but that's okay. Sometimes, it takes a little imagination mixed with humor to make the obscure things in the world interesting. Thank you, Randall!
You are awesome for reading my blog! If you want, you can leave a comment below, or you can email me at tooie@tooiekangaroo.com. Whatever!
Quite a tough customer, one I would not want to meet. Although it was rather humorous that the stench actually knocks out bees. Keep your distance if you want to keep your face.
ReplyDeleteStill, you have to admit that it is weird that their popularity came from a viral comedy video.
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