Fairy Tale Spotlight: AHP (Alternate History Protection)

The unknown branch of the movie industry: AHP. The ridiculous obsessive compulsive agency known as Alternate History Protection. Is it real? It might as well be. I've seen the signs.

We don't have as much of a problem with this today as we used to, but there are still some sad people out there who can't wrap their minds around an alternate history. It has to do with the idea that fiction is separate from reality. We can enjoy it knowing well that it doesn't really exist. But there is a compulsion in people to overthink based on the reality they presently reside in.

Still don't know what I am talking about? Let me throw a scenario at you. There are a lot of old and quite wonderful films where adventurers journey into an uncharted land. They find ancient civilizations that still exist. If not that then they just find something we thought was lost but ultimately still resides somewhere deep underground. It is a formula that has been proven to create a wondrous sense of adventure. We all love to make those vicarious journeys.

Usually these stories end with there being some sort of proof obtained. It could be a great treasure or a human or living creature from this long lost world. If the heroes were to bring them out into the world, history would be changed forever. The whole world would now know that there is great and wonderful things hidden away. Alas... in comes the AHP.

Generally what happens is that, at the last moment, the proof is lost somehow. The treasure is somehow lost or the living entity is killed in some sort of contrived way such as an unexpected earthquake. There is a reason why this is happening and it has to do with what AHP is: Alternate History Protection.

The idea of it is that if the heroes actually come out of the adventure with solid evidence that the amazing place existed, it would break continuity which what actually happens in real life. The story could easily be called fake and unrealistic. For those sitting in the theater, we are all yearning for the truth to come out, but we are not allowed to have it because it would get mismatched with the world around us. This is often why the rug gets pulled from under our feet right at the end of these movies. I get the feeling even the writers want it, to some extent, but then here comes the AHP to ruin everybody's fun.

Of course, there is no real agency out there called the AHP. This phenomenon is more a matter of obsessive compulsiveness. Apparently they forget that they are making fiction. Alternate history is not a bad thing, but they don't want to upset us or something. It's stupid. It can ruin a pretty awesome movie too.

There was also a similar thing in old sitcoms. I remember as a kid that there always seemed to be a struggle with sitcom characters to make it big-time. Either strike it rich or achieve their dreams, and there were a lot of episodes where they would come close only to lose out at the last moment. A sitcom character striking it rich may not have altered history, but it is in the similar vein of obsessively crushing aspects of the story for whatever reason. Everyone has to sit in the same box, because coming out of that box would be too hard to fathom.

Well, I fathom alternate histories and entire universes quite easily. It's pretty exciting. I live to imagine new things and wonder what could be or even what could have been. What's so wrong with that? Would people really reject a movie because it told a story inaccurate to what history had to offer? Well, possibly... but it's still stupid.

There was a game in 2013 called Ryse: Son of Rome. It is an alternate history where Rome was not actually conquered but survived until the present day. It is entirely wrong, but damn was it a fun game. The game was not a huge success though. I don't think it was so much for the story as it was for the game play (which I had no problem with, by the way). The game defies history and I think it is better for it.

I think my main problem with AHP is the cynicism it can cause. The message AHP really delivers is that there really is no hope. We're stuck in an endless loop of disappointment. Why not try showing us what the human spirit can really do? We went to the moon, didn't we? If the AHP had their way, all the spaceships would come tumbling down at the last moment. How is that a good thing? How about we get some wins once in a while... and not worry so much about continuity? It's fiction... and with enough effort... fiction becomes reality.

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