The Tear of Vis

"The Tear of Vis" by T.K. Wade (As told by Quin, guide of Skiouros.)

In the beginning, the world was a very barren place. There were no forests, ponds, lakes, or oceans about the world. Neither were there animals or rodent. It was altogether a very unsatisfactory place to thrive in which may account for why no one yet lived.

The latter explanation contrasts with the Highest Place. In the heavens could be found wondrous cities far beyond our own worldly comprehension. And although these cities were beautiful to behold, they were without peace which blemished such beauty. The squirrel goddess, Pacis, wept over this flaw, for she was never pleased with such noise. She could never appreciate such a place regardless of it being her home.

Few of the Highest Place held concern for her insignificant complaints, but there was one god whom showed great interest in her. The squirrel’s name was Vis, and he loved Pacis dearly. Whenever the noise of those cities became too great, she would notice his empathy and fling herself into his arms where she somehow felt far more relieved. Driven by a strong passion to please the goddess, he promised to use his powers to create a place for her where she might finally find the peace she desired so greatly. Indeed, Pacis was well captivated by Vis and promised him her immortal love if he could ever accomplish such a thing.

Vis mingled within the society of greater gods and goddesses of the Highest Place seeking the power to do as he wished. Soon, he was given dominion over our world and allowed to change it as he saw fit. He did so with great care, for when he was finished, it looked much like it does now. There were forests, ponds, lakes, and oceans spread across the world. Much of his creation he designed according to his own whim, but there was one special place that he made explicitly for the one whom he loved–the great forest country of Skiouros.

Now, Vis had no hand in creating the rodents of the world, but he made sure the one who was responsible for the act designed the country’s populous to be in a form similar to Pacis. And so we came into being. Indeed, Pacis was made happy by the gift and fully intended to make a residence of the new country, but Vis could not go.

You see, Vis was not the same as Pacis. The goddess was drawn to the serenity of Skiouros and could easily pass on to it for it was in her spirit, but Vis was a god of the Highest Place and there he would remain. Yet these two great ones were in love, and that love would remain for eternity. On the day Pacis was to descend into the realm of the mortals to live among us, she was assisted down by the hand of her love. And as their hands were released, a single tear formed in the eye of Vis. It fell from the heavens and landed in this very clearing.

The tear was very small, you see, but it was a tear of an immortal and could not be moved or tampered with. Once a year–on what we call the Day of Love–Pacis raises her hand, once more, to the heavens, and it is, once more, touched by her true love. Each and every time, another tear fell from the eyes of Vis and added to the tears of former years. And now, as you can see, the tears have formed a pond, and every year, it grows–one tear at a time.

-Glossary-

The Tear of Vis: An actual location within Skiouros. It is a beautiful clearing in the forest where a pond resides. It is a sacred place to the squirrels of the country.

Skiouros: Country of the squirrels which is west of Murridae.

"animals or rodents": In this world, rodents are not animals. They are people. Any other creature is feral.

Highest Place: Heaven, or the land of the gods.

Pacis: Squirrel goddess of peace and tranquility.

Vis: Squirrel god of nature.

Mustelidae Spotlight: Weasel

You know, I was sitting here thinking about how annoying it is to say "mustelidae" over and over again. It certainly isn't as mainstream as "rodent." How 'bout we go for something more simple and cute and start calling them "musties." Yeah! I like that!

Probably, the most well-known musty is the ordinary weasel. Well, maybe not so ordinary, for he has a reputation a mile long. Actually, it's more of a rap sheet than a reputation. Weasels are well-known for being up to suspicious mischief or dubious activities, and a lot of those notions are inspired by how they live their lives.

First, lets look at them from a scientific angle. Weasels are not really that big when compared to other musties. They range from 7 to 8 inches from head to tail, and they are very low to the ground when sneaking about. You might even miss one crawling right in front of you, and that is likely very good for the weasel.

Weasels are carnivores. They love eating all the little critters who live in the forest, but it's how they capture them which ultimately gives them their reputation. They are amazingly sneaky and quiet when they hunt. One might even think they pride themselves on this ability; at least, I'd like to think so. In fact, I think it quite often. It's just more fun that way.

Weasels have been in fiction and culture since the beginning of time. In the times of ancient Greece, it was considered very bad luck to find a weasel near a house which held within its walls a girl to be married. Apparently, weasels like to destroy things for no reason at all--such as a wedding dress. That's right! Weasels were the world's first wedding crashers! In early Mecklenburg, Germany, weasels were thought to possess strong magic which actually led to a period of the year being designated for killing weasels. Turns out Weird Al's "Weasel Stomping Day" was based on real events! Native Americans saw weasels as a bad sign that would lead to a speedy death. You see? That's how they get ya! Lastly, even in modern times, we will call a person who is known to be sneaky or up to no good a weasel. We also sometimes refer to the speakings of a suspicious person to be "weasel words." Clever.

No matter how you look at it, weasels are known throughout history as the sneaky villain of the animals. In fiction, they are commonly portrayed as such or just simply a slithery person without any scruples to speak of. Case in point: "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" The weasels in this movie were not only entirely villainous, they were also stark raving lunatics. I liked them though! They were both scary and hilarious at the same time and made great henchmen for the lead villain.

Weasels are commonly henchmen as in the French film "Wolfy: The Incredible Secret." They would sneak about like spies in the night, and no one would ever see them unless they wanted to be seen. In Kenneth Grahame's book "The Wind in the Willows," weasels were also employed as common thugs and even ended up in a big fight.

I think--for me--the most inspirational depiction of weasels were the ones in the comic book series "Mouse Guard." Although they have not shown up as often as I'd like, they were so well written that I have used the ideas for some of my own works. In my unpublished stories called "Tooth and Tail," I had weasels be these snarling creatures who thrived on meat. Rats would ride them into battle and cause much carnage with them, but this would also prove very controversial with the rodent populous. I also had a very interesting weasel in one of my published works called "Ava in Fairyland." His name was Slipnick the thief, and his name was derived from how he could "slip" inside and "nick" the item that he wanted. He was an amusing character and a lot of fun to write about.

Weasels are one of natures sneakiest predators. They are cunning and calculating. They are selfish and cruel. They will do anything and everything it takes to achieve success. For that reason, they easily make it in the Musty Hall of Fame as an honorary villain. I would not have it any other way.

Thank you for reading this blog. If you enjoyed it, you can leave a comment below, or you can email me at tooie@tooiekangaroo.com. Sneak!

Oran's Folly

"Oran's Folly" by T.K. Wade (As told by Teagan the squirrel bard.)

Now, Oran fought a hundreds wars,
And lost a million three.
He gave it up for his bad luck,
And fell upon his knees.

Matera seized him by his soul,
As so he chose to do.
But now he sees what is not there,
His vision now askew!

"Invaders! Invaders!” Came a shout,
He saw them breaching forth!
All the men who trusted him,
Set out upon the north.

Imagine their surprise and shock,
When nothing did assail.
When asked about the missing fight,
Did Oran rant and rail:

“I saw it! I saw it!” was his reply.
“It was clear as if the sun!”
But clearly Matera had taken him
And used him for his fun.

So now, dear Oran is all but lost,
In respect and other ways.
A slave to Matera and adrift in life,
To spend the rest of his days.

But let this be a lesson to those,
Who fights and never does win.
Avoid the ale; Instruo prevails!
And let not Matera come in!

-Glossary-

Matera: Literally, the squirrel god of fermentation/alcohol.

Instruo: The squirrel god of readiness and swift decision.

My Love of Mustelidae

I've always believed that there is an animal for every human personality. Within the world of rodentia, we commonly find personalities befitting of the more curious or timid types--this being with some very notable exceptions (i.e. rats.) There is another class of people which is of a much darker nature. Many of them may even be villains such as thieves or brigands. They may also take the form of corrupt politicians and leaders. For this group, I nominate the prestigious family of mustelidae!

Weasels have had a major part in fiction and popular culture. We often call someone who is sneaky or untrustworthy a weasel. We often picture the creature sneaking about looking for a way to kill or steal something, and there is a very good reason why. These creatures really do tend to do that!

A weasel is a type of mustelid, and there are many others that belong to this family as you will later find out. I have for years now had a fascination with these creatures and have even written several stories about them. They tend to bring out my mischievousness and inspire me to create fun characters--often villains.

You may remember some mustelids from popular movies and books. Probably the most notable are the weasels from the movie "Who Frames Roger Rabbit." In a more recent film called "Wolfy: The Incredible Secret," some species of mustelids were used as spies and could be seen sneaking around in the dark.

The famous comic book series "Mouse Guard" has its share of weasels, and I must say that these particular characters are extremely well designed. I have always enjoyed the stories about them. Not as well known but still very important is the book series "The Welkin Weasels" by Gary Kilworth. This series really has done the most justice to the little guys. I recommend the books to anyone interested in seeing good fiction made in honor of mustelidae.

Over the next year, I will be telling you about many animals within the mustelidae family. I encourage you to open your mind to a dark and sinister world of a very sneaky group of carnivores. Mustelids are good for drawing out the dark side of one's imagination. You can't have everything candy and rainbows for life. A weasel would be the first to tell you that as well! By the end of it, I am sure that you will understand why I love them so much. Sometimes, it never hurts to indulge the imagination in darker things. After all, that's where all the most interesting villains come from.

Stay tuned for the new Mustelidae Spotlight! Be sure to comment below if you so desire, or you can email me at tooie@tooiekangaroo.com. Thanks for reading! :)

A Word Concerning Darkwood

"A Word Concerning Darkwood" by T.K. Wade (As told by Milo the mouse adventurer.)

To be sure, the goal of one’s quest in an adventure is to reach the subsequent destination–whatever that entails. But I would put forth that finding ones ultimate destination has significantly less meaning without first expounding on the place from whence the adventurer originates: to wit, Darkwood.

I feel as if I am the proprietor of a very rare privilege to be the one to write about this town. The forested dwelling is still but an infant mouse respectively when compared to the well-aged rodent that is the rest of Murridae. Only a handful of literature, thus far, has been written about it. I believe that the reasons for these missing manuscripts can be explained in several ways:

For one, there simply has not been much time since the town’s birth for many to experience its aspects. Secondly, Darkwood is not one to see many visitors. Third, there are those who simply do not consider the town to be of any sort of permanence within Murridae. The latter issue will be explicated in the coming remarks.

Granted, I am not the first to speak of Darkwood. I am reminded of Jeremiah, or Old Jeremiah as was the moniker he held with his peers. Arguably, he is the first to write about Darkwood with any amount of clarity. He did so within his published book, “Western Revival,” written only seven years after its liberation.

A great boon this mouse was to the town’s recorded history. In particular, I rather enjoyed his poignant observations of the people that were present about the town when he was there to witness them. They were written as such:

Mindboggling. It is starkly mindboggling to see these rodents walking the streets, baking bread, hammering metal, sewing clothes, taking wives, and living as if they have lived in this place since ancient times. And I witness this only a trifle number of years past its liberation from the Black Rats. These mice–exhibiting everything simple about their way of life–are, in sooth, quite bold. I doubt I could ever be one of them in spirit.

To add to Old Jeremiah’s position, consider a town that had been simply invented by an enemy faction, and once that enemy was thwarted, we accept the town almost instantly as one of our own. The concept is almost unfathomable, but such are the rodents of Darkwood.  We are all of the bold variety. To clarify further, only in this town have I ever seen mice stand with rats on such equalized scale. It is simply the intrepid nature of the people.

Since its initial liberation, Darkwood has grown quite remarkably. It is quickly beginning to take on the appearance of a proper civilization. The sight and feel of it can be contrasted to other towns and cities of Murridae in two distinct ways: namely, that there are many trees about the area–whereas most towns of this country keep their trees outside of their walls, and also that it is generally very cold there, especially within the winter months.

Concerning the former, I could very well give credit to my interest in Skiouros by having grown up in a strangely wooded environment. As queer a place as it is, I imagined–at the time–it was quite the common thing for all of the squirrel-lands. At the beginning of my adventure, I often wondered if I would seem something of a kindred spirit to them having shared similar environs. The conclusion to this will be later dealt with.

To the latter, the cause of the frigid wind is due to the fact that Darkwood is the most northern of all places in Murridae. I recall freezing days and nights where the trunks of those trees were wearing crystallized skirts of ice (what fascinating shapes they would make when I would break them apart.) I am sure many among this country might very well consider living in Darkwood to be rather inhospitable.

Above, I had mentioned the semi-controversial ideal that Darkwood is not a truly sanctioned town of Murridae. One of the instigators of this theory was an author by the name of Calvin Blue. In his book entitled, “The Eternal Growth of a Kingdom,” he put forth the following:

Although, it may have been the intentions of those who took Darkwood away from our enemy to make it their own–and in saying this, I respect their nerve in such a maneuver–I consider it to be in rather poor taste to simply consider it to be officially inducted into our country. When I consider how hard rodents strove to create the beginnings of Rodopolis, as well as the heart that was behind those people, I cannot see any such thing behind the evil rats who erected those walls up in Darkwood. Understanding this, I feel the place should be either destroyed or, at the very least, rechristened by a Rodopolis official of some variety.

Personally, I find Cavin’s candor on the matter to be born of shortsightedness. I do not understand why the name is so bothersome. If anything, it is a symbol of triumph over our enemy. At one time, Darkwood was a housing for evil, but what is it now? It is a thriving community of good rodents! In this instance, the meaning of the name takes a different path. Despite this revelation, the controversy remains to this day; however, I encourage all to make little to do over the matter. There is not enough of the controversy to spark anything. Darkwood is a town of Murridae.

As I have been doing, I would not refer to Darkwood as anything but a town. The walls that it has were only built to fortify it during the war. We are still growing as our own pace. The community as a whole is exceedingly jovial. We help one another as a matter of habit. I have heard that most settlements begin with such a society.

Darkwood is divided into two partitions. The western district is where most of the rodents living there make their home. The buildings are partitioned apart with amazing symmetry–an aspect that is rather hard to find among Murridae. They are simple in design, and are built entirely from wood of the surrounding forest.

The east side of Darkwood is where you will find its very modest marketplace. Many of the buildings here are very old as they were still there while they were inhabited by the Black Rats, but as you can see, we have repurposed them to great effect.

As an adventurer, it would be in poor taste if I forsook mentioning the heart and soul of any town–this being the tavern. I would be lying if I put forth any form of absence from this place. The truth is that I frequented her hall more often than I probably should have. But let that not dissuade you from entering. “The Hailing Raven” is more than just a mere place to drink and sleep, it was a community crossroads where all decisions were made.

It was naturally a capital place to begin my arrangements in earnest. A great many things can be settled in a tavern if one is diligent. Being that I was–at this point–well-known among the rodents of Darkwood, I felt that such a crossroads would naturally be my first destination.

But if I might add just one more opinion concerning this town: I wish to simply express the love that I have for it. I do not say this lightly. Although, it is true that I did wish to venture great distances away from Darkwood, there was always a sincere yearning to return to those walls. For there will always be an eternal admiration, on my part, for those people–how bold, how jovial, how resolute.

-Glossary-

Darkwood: The hometown of Milo. It lies within Northeastern Murridae.

Murridae: A country ruled by mice but is also populated by rats and jerboas.

Black Rats: An army of rats who wished to replace the rule of mice in Murridae.

Skiouros: A country west of Murridae inhabited primarily by squirrels.

Rodent Spotlight: Josephoartigasia Monesi

Ladies and gentlemen: Welcome to the very last Rodent Spotlight blog. It has been almost two years since I began doing this. The very first one was posted way back on July 13, 2013. I have thoroughly enjoyed every moment in researching and writing about the many rodents out there. Although, there are still other species that I missed, I believed I have covered all the most interesting ones.

It's actually rather hard for me to believe it's over. One thing that I did not expect was how much I was going to personally learn about rodents throughout this endeavor. I am far from being an expert in the field of animals. I am really just an author who has a profound appreciation for cute, crittery things. The experience has opened my mind to new species and possibilities in fiction, and for that, I am infinitely thankful.

But this blog isn't about saying goodbye after all. We have yet one more rodent whose story needs to be told. If you remember the last couple of blogs, we learned about the very interesting infraorder of cavimorpha which is responsible for giving us the fat little, guinea pig, the amphibious paca, the poorly-named pacarana, and his prehistoric cousin the phoberomys pattersoni. (Also known as Ratzilla!) As big as the last one was, there was still one rodent greater than even he. I present to you the entirely unpronounceable rodent known as the josephoartigasia monesi. (J. monesi for short.)

The J. monesi was the end-all, be-all of giants within the rodent kingdom. This creature was a surprising 10 feet long from head to tail and stood at a height of 5 feet. Likely the most impressive to me, however, was its weight. There has been some disagreement over how heavy this massive rodent was, but it was finally agreed on. Can you imagine a rodent weighing 2,000 pounds? That is one full ton! Unbelievable! Do not--I repeat--DO NOT let this guy sit on you!

Obviously, this is not a rodent you'd wanna keep as a pet. Where it is true, he was entirely an herbivore, there is just nowhere to keep a 2,000 pound animal in your house. These jokes stem from the fact that when most of us hear the word "rodent" mentioned, we automatically think of very small creatures. We think of either a tiny pest or a tiny pet. The J. monesi breaks that stereotype in half with its big, giant feet.

In my unpublished universe called "Tooth and Tail," I had portrayed the capybaras as giants among the normal sized rodents of that world. If the capybaras were giants, then what the heck were these guys?! I suppose we have different ideas for what the word "giant" can mean. The capybaras were just really massive and tall, but only about 10 feet. The J. monesi would be the more fairy tale form of giant. He would be able to make a chair out of the roof of a house and eat entire trees like they were bits in a salad. Remember, he IS still a vegetarian.

Imagination is an interesting thing, isn't it? Much of the fictional portions of these blogs were really not about anything that was real. Animal's can't talk, nor do they wear clothing or live like we do; however, there is a very special part of us that allows us to see them doing it. And this special sight we have can visualize in a way that seems so real that you can almost reach your hand out and touch it. That either means that we are completely crazy, or we are amazingly talented creatures. Imagination--whether it makes proper sense or not--has the unique ability to inspire others to do amazing things. After all, I saw rodents and ended up writing books about them where they were portrayed as civilized people.

It is very important to always be honest about that which you love. No one but you should have a say in such things. When you find that thing that you love, do whatever you can with it! Write a story, draw a picture, write a blog about it for two years! Let that thing inspire you, and then create from it with all of your heart. Never let it go. It is yours, and you have the right and even the responsibility to do great things with it. And with that, I shall say goodbye to my Rodent Blog, but do not worry! There is so much more I wish to write about. Stay tuned!

Thank you for reading this blog. If you enjoyed it, you can comment below, or you can email me at tooie@tooiekangaroo.com. Until next time!

Una the Witch

"Una the Witch" by T.K. Wade (As told by Quin, guide of Skiouros.)

This is the story of Una the witch–a story I know well. She was from times older than we know and perhaps lives even unto this very day. She is a servant of Vis; however, she also uses his power in unholy ways. It is a wonder why Vis should allow her to live at all. Perhaps, she gave enough sacrifice of herself to warrant his amnesty.

Una often would keep to herself, but to the poor squirrels who would get lost in the woods, they would often find her house which was made of both vines twisted into the carcasses of dead animals. It was a horrible place, and one could not escape it. Those who came across her lair might try and walk away, but they would find it again no matter how many directions they walked. It was hopeless.

The poor travelers would either knock upon her door which was made of martin bone or suffer starvation as time would progress. She would allow them in, and the inside was not much better than it appeared on the outside. All things of her house was made of plant and dead nature as designed by Vis. You may well imagine their terror at seeing this; however, Una herself was quite comely and would give them some hope of escape.

It is not known exactly what was done to these visitors, but one thing is certain, they would always be found again entirely mad. Only a special mixture of bark and bone could cure them of this madness, and even then, it would only last a day. This is a very strange tale, and I am unsure if it is true. We have not heard of this witch in a very long time. Perhaps, she is dead. We do not know for certain.

I will tell you this. In my days as a guide, I have a memory of seeing the very house that is described upon this carved tree. I was leading a man to Chad, and the path did not seem familiar to me despite having traveled it many times. I remember seeing the terrible house of Una the witch, but I remember nothing more than that.

I woke up on the outskirts of Chad, and my client was nowhere to be seen. I never did see him again. I always wonder if I will find him someday completely mad, but who knows? Perhaps, I dreamed it all. I am quite strange, you know. If I wasn’t, I would not prefer to sleep among my hares!

-Glossary-

Skiouros: The great forest country of squirrels which is west of Murridae.

Vis: The squirrel god of nature.

Chad: Capitol city of Skiouros.

Witch: Witches in this universe have powerful links to a single god. This is not always a bad thing. It often leads to a life of dedication that causes them to be reclusive from society. The reason they are called witches is cause their direct link to their god causes them to exhibit certain supernatural abilities.