It was dark, but that was pretty normal. As a general rule, kitchens were generally very dark at three o’clock in the morning. Ned and Sara had to be quiet. Raccoons were never welcome in places like these.
Ned peeked around the corner and then looked back at his wife. “I think everyone’s still asleep. Looks like that little window-slamming incident didn’t draw any attention, dear.”
Sara blushed. “Come on, that could have happen to anybody.”
“You see, this is why I never bring you anywhere.”
“But Ned, we never go out anymore. I’m starting to worry about our relationship. I mean… a dumpster here and there is one thing, but I just wanted to go somewhere special for our anniversary.”
Ned sighed. She had a point. Still, it did not take a lot of coordination to open a dumpster, and that was something she never really had. But it had always been her flaws that made her so endearing. He hugged her and said, “Baby, don’t worry. Tonight, we are gonna have a special dinner–just you and me. I’m talking about the most high-class cuisine in the entire town.”
Her eyes lighted up with joy. “You mean it?”
“Yeah, and it’s all for you.”
“Where is it?”
He cracked a devilish smile and signaled over to one of the cabinets. “I bet you never saw a trash bin inside of a cabinet before.” He opened the door to show her. True enough, there it was.
Sara was amazed. “You’re right. I’ve never seen anything like that.”
“See, these humans are so wealthy that they even store their garbage in high-class surroundings. Check it out: the bag is even scented.” Both raccoons sniffed the air and breathed out a sigh of lemon-scented bliss.
Sara blushed. “Oh, Ned. This is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me. I hope it never ends.”
“It hasn’t even started yet. Ready to dig in?”
“You bet.”
Both raccoons grabbed the top of the bin and tipped it over onto the floor of the kitchen. An array of discarded foodstuffs poured out from inside. The raccoons wasted no time in crawling into the overturned container and eating whatever they could find.
Sara was slurping at the inside of a peanut butter jar, which also had some discarded Chinese food in it. “This is amazing; it tastes so fresh.”
Ned was busy trying to stick his head into a potato chip bag. There were some old beans and hotdog bits inside. “Only the best for you, my dear.”
Sara popped her head out of the jar and contentedly chewed on the hardened, fried chicken bits. “Honey, that baggy thing is making a lot of noise.”
“But it’s full of such wonderful things!”
“More wonderful than me?”
Ned pulled the bag from off of his head. His face just as messy as her’s. “Nothing could be more wonderful than you.”
The lights suddenly came on. Both raccoons looked up from there yummy treats to see a human woman scream at the top of her lungs. Both raccoons made a dash for the window, but the floor was too slippery from the spillage. They all just randomly slid around in a complete lack of coordination. The mess was only being spread around even more by their failed escape plan.
Suddenly, the man of the house arrived with the mother of all raccoon-dispensing weapons: a broom. Smack after smack, the raccoons were pelted by the horrible tool. The two of them finally made their way back to the window and crawled out into the yard.
After being sure they were safe, the husband and wife held each other while panting heavily from the excitement. Ned finally asked, “So, was it everything you hoped it would be?”
She giggled and kissed him on the lips. “Of course, it was. Everywhere is heaven as long as I’m with you.” The two hugged and ran home to sleep for the rest of the night.
-Author Notes-
This was not so much a deep tale as it was just a simple story about a married couple from the perspective of raccoons. Part of this probably stemmed from my love of the show “Mad About You.” I know that most of these stories are about more meaningful things, but I guess that I am just a sucker for cute stuff.
-----
Check out my ebook "Wild" available for free at Barnes and Noble! Just CLICK HERE!
No comments:
Post a Comment