Thursday, December 13, 2018

Fairy Tale Spotlight: Our Divine Comedy, Pt. 24

In the beginning, there was the Circle, and the Circle was not bound to the Line. Even so, the Line was bound to the Circle. The perspective of the Circle was as if looking at a page of text and nothing more. You could go to other pages of text if you wanted to, but there was no real need to. There was nothing wrong with sticking around that same page... even if it was for eternity.

"I am here to be baptized," said Jesus.

"What? Seriously?" asked John in surprise.

End of page 2016.

This is how it was for God. And as he sat near the table, refusing to change the page, he would notice Mr. Nobody staring at the same page also. The Holy Spirit could not move for he had bound himself to the Line in those moments. He was momentarily trapped within the dilation of time between the two points, or so it appeared to God. God remained on the Circle and refused to move any further than that spot.

There was no real hurry. Events would happen as they would regardless. He even knew much of the future as it would happen. The problem was centered somewhere around page 8. Page 8 was a strange one. Even though it appeared near the beginning of this hypothetical book, it had not actually been written yet. It was blank. Much of what was going to happen around page 2016 was going to lead to the writing of page 8.

But still, there was no real need to move forward to page 2017. There was plenty of things God could do... like sitting... breathing... thinking. He did those things a lot, perhaps not to his own pleasure. Of course, there was always paddle-ball. In fact, it must be known that God holds the all-time record at paddle-ball. By using a technique known as a universal temporal macro, he managed to get no less than seventy duodecillion, forty sextillion, eight hundred trillion, four thousand and two [70,000,000,000,000,000,040,000,000,800,000,000,004,002] paddles down before simply just getting bored of the activity.

Chris was nearby trying to beat this record while God sat there thinking. The human was bravely doing his best and had reached a very bold paddle number of forty-three [43] when he decided to ask, "Why don't you just move on?"

"Because I'm not obligated to, Darius," replied God.

"But I just think it's kind of weird that we all just seem a bit stuck in time. It's weird to see Mr. Nobody over there holding so still. Why can't we just move on to see what happens?"

"What's the point?" groaned God. "I have all the time and existence in the universe to hold off what is very likely to be a failure."

"What do you mean?"

"Mr. Nobody doesn't like me. He never did. He's only ever done what he did because he doesn't like to see others who strive for something suffer. It's some weird and wacky concept that came from him called compassion. I'm still not used to it. Never understood how being nice to people would ever lead to anything, but whatever."

"I like it when you're nice to me," whimpered Chris as he paddled past sixty-four [64].

"Yeah, I know. It's nice to eat hay without a feedbag once in a while, isn't it, Boo Boo?"

"Sure is," smiled Chris.

"Well, that little act of compassion did not really come from me. It came from Mr. Nobody. I've never been one to be either friendly or compassionate. I'm a man who just likes to see things get done."

"But you still won't move forward on the Line," mentioned Chris as he passed eighty-one [81].

God rested his face within his hands. "I know what's coming. I know the future and how it ends. But unless the beginning is written properly, none of this is going to mean anything. Mr. Nobody is probably going to take one look at my son and just scrap him as nothing worth a damn. Like father, like son. He's just as messed up as I am. I know I have to deal with it eventually, but I just need a while to get ready for it. If Mr. Nobody rejects my son, I am going to be devastated." He sighed miserably. "I'm also going to just leave it all alone for eternity. I'll take my son back and we'll just leave the Line to dissolve itself. It will be a failed experiment. Lucifer can have it. He certainly will deserve it."

Chris frowned as he paddled up to one hundred and three [103]. "Will you ever try again?"

"No. It's just too heartbreaking for me. I put everything into this iteration. This was where my heart was. I love these humans... as stupid as they are. I want them to succeed. I want them to rise above all of their problems and... maybe even join me here in the Circle. And from there... we can all be creators. We can all make wonderful things. And Jesus... He can manage it all from a throne. It's all such a beautiful idea. But... I don't know if it is even possible. If I can't get Mr. Nobody's blessing... the Line will simply fizzle out and collapse. The humans will all die. I'll be alone. I'll... be damned.

Chris was silent after hearing that. God peered back down at page 2016. "I am here to be baptized," said Jesus.

"What? Seriously?" asked John in surprise.

God looked back at Chris as a tear fell from his eye. "I can't look."

"But... you have to," said Chris.

"What the hell do you know?" asked God miserably. "You're just my donkey." Hearing that, Chris missed a paddle at one hundred and nineteen [119]. God groaned and told him, "Oh, and you were sooo close too." Chris frowned and sighed. To be continued.

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8 comments:

  1. Very serious. Very enlightening. Very profound. Still, I did laugh when God messed up Chris when Chris was "so close." You are the Tutor... and I am learning things from the Divine perspective. Like any good comedy, this one has something serious to say.

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    1. Two replies! I can handle that. I think it was more cute that Chris was going to try even though there was no way he had a chance. People actually try that sometimes. We all know somebody who fiddles around with that paddle-ball occasionally. The record will always be God's however. He's the only one allowed to cheat.

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  2. Oh, the page numbers and other things were not lost on me. You were not joking in this comedy when you cited them.

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    1. Weirdly, the numbers are significant by coincident. I got them from the appropriate page numbers of my personal Bible. But then... maybe not much of a coincident after-all!

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  3. He wants them to rise above their problems, when he cannot even rise above his own. It is telling that he made them, yet will not take responsibility for what they become. So, everything keeps going round and round, getting nowhere.

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    1. Don, much of what I do here is create a satire on situations I believe are happening. I don't believe God needs to do anything for any reason. Honestly, I don't even understand him enough to judge his motives or anything like that. No man can judge God. You cannot either. You have NO point of reference.

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  4. God's apprehension was well warranted, all of creation hinges on this very moment. If his Son did not live up to the expectations of The Holy Spirit then all would be lost, there would be no connection. The page numbers are an awesome touch, those with eyes to see would know the significance. Love the paddle-ball bit haha.

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    1. On the paddle-ball bit: I honestly don't think God would have any problem with doing simple things like that because of his perspective on reality. He writes the code for how paddle-balls work after all.

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