Fairy Tale Spotlight: Our Divine Spinoff, Part 21

Chris sat down next to God and seemed perfectly depressed. He was also still wearing a dress. God looked at him and asked, “When did I ever say you could sit down, Hannah? Are there not angels that need attending to in the other room?”

“I just can’t do it anymore,” muttered Chris. “They all keep picking on me. They say I look stupid in this dress.”

“And how exactly are they incorrect?” asked God.

Chris almost answered this but ended up just groaning. “I just want to sit down for a change.”

“Would it make you feel better if I made you a woman?”

“Would you do that?”

“No, but I was just asking. It’s far more hilarious to force you to wear this dress as you are.”

Chris palmed his face. “Sometimes I don’t think you realize how hard it is living with you, God.”

“It’s rough. Isn’t it, Annie May?”

“Yes,” grunted Chris.

“Eh… The angels in the back room haven’t tried to touch you or anything, have they?”

“No.”

“That’s good. Well, fine. You can sit for a while. If anything, you get a chance to see someone whose life is worse off than yours. That would make you feel better, right?”

“I guess so,” whimpered Chris.

God pointed towards the table. Chris looked down and saw a man by the name of Job. He was a well-to-do man who presently sat within his vast estate drinking lightly from a cup of wine as he read a good book.

Suddenly a man wearing tattered clothing burst in upon him and cried out, “Job! Job! It’s terrible!”

“What has happened?” asked Job who just recognized one of his many servants.

“The oxen were plowing and the donkeys were grazing nearby, and the Sabeans attacked and made off with them. They put the servants to the sword, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!”

“The only one?!” cried the shocked man. “All the others have been killed?”

“Yes, I barely escaped with my life. I mean look at my clothes. They are all tattered and torn by the swords which nearly cut my flesh. Egad! I feel faint!” And so the servant passed out, and Job was forced to catch him, but no sooner was he caught did another servant in singed clothing run in.

“Job! Job!” he cried.

“What?! What?!” returned the master of the estate.

The servant cried out, “The fire of God fell from the heavens and burned up the sheep and the servants, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!”

“Only you?! No one else?!” shouted Job nearly in tears.

“Yes! Can’t you see how burned up my clothing is? I was nearly scorched into a crisp! Egad! I feel faint!” And so Job was forced to catch another servant into his arms with the first one who had fainted.

Now having two fainted servants in his arms, a third man with slashed and torn clothing barged in and shouted, “Job! Job! The Chaldeans formed three raiding parties and swept down on your camels and made off with them. They put the servants to the sword, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!”

“The only one?!” cried Job who was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

“Yes! Can you not see how my clothing is nearly destroyed from how they all tried to kill me? Oh! It was so close! Egad! I feel faint!” Job quickly sidled up to the man until he had three limp bodies in his arms all flailing about as Job tried to keep them all off of the floor.

But just then a fourth man covered in bruises dashed through the door. He at once cried out, “Job! Job! Your sons and daughters were feasting and drinking wine at the oldest brother’s house, when suddenly a mighty wind swept in from the desert and struck the four corners of the house. It collapsed on them and they are dead, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!”

“Only you?! No one else survived?!”

“Can’t you see how I have been bruised and beaten by the falling of your brother’s house? Oh, I am so sorry to give you this news, but it is all true. Your sons and daughters are no more. Egad! I feel faint!”

But Job, as much as he tried, could not catch this servant, and, in the process of trying, he lost his grip on all the others. There he stood: a man who had lost nearly everything. But in a fit of passion, Job tore up his robe and shaved his head. He then fell to the ground and shouted out, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away! May the name of the Lord be praised!”

Chris looked back to God and asked, “Did he just do what I think he did.”

“Uh huh,” replied God. “Looks like Lucifer has some ‘splaining to do.”

To be continued.

Thank you for reading my blog! Did you enjoy it? Either way, you can comment below, or you can email me at tkwadeauthor@gmail.com. You can also visit my website at www.tkwade.com. Check out my books! Thanks!