“When are you not?” grumbled Lucifer.
God glared for a moment which made Lucifer look away. God then remarked, “I was under the impression that you wanted the Cynocephaly to serve you.”
“Yes,” muttered the angel.
“And wasn’t he already technically serving you?”
“Yes.”
“And so he basically ended up leaving you for… you.”
“Yes.”
God chuckled for a moment before saying, “I’m not seeing the part where you should be getting upset.”
“That’s because I’m not done telling the story!” snapped Lucifer.
“There’s more?”
“You know there’s more.”
“I do?” asked God bewildered.
“Yes! You know everything, don’t you?”
God scratched his chin. “Well, I used to anyways. I may still. I guess I just haven’t paid much attention since retirement. I’ve been more concerned with Chris and how silly I can make him look.”
“That’s stupid.”
“Everybody needs a hobby.”
The angel groaned. “Do you want to hear the rest of this story or not?”
God nodded. “I do! I really do. I mean… It’s not entirely un-entertaining. I haven’t thought about Canaan in a long while. Not really the greatest fellows I have ever had to deal with.”
“Canaan was made great because of the Cynocephaly.”
“It was?” asked God surprised. “Then why the heck did you kill them all off?”
“Because I had to! Because you just have to mettle in everything that I do, I was forced to take those drastic actions! You always do this! You can’t just accept that I have done something just as amazing as you have!”
“You boinked a dog.”
“That is beside the point!”
“You actually boinked a dog. Like it just stood there while you did things to it.”
“God!”
The old man groaned as he sat back in his chair. “Back when I was creating things, I never boinked a dog. I never boinked anything. Honestly I think I would have felt a bit silly if I had to do that. Ever seen the humans boink with animals? It’s incredibly goofy looking.”
Lucifer, at this point, was covering his face in the palm of his hand. Crestfallen, he muttered, “Can we… just… continue… the story… please?”
“I mean… Remember that one bearded guy with the goat down in Sodom? I still can’t un-see that.”
“Pleeeeeeeeease,” groaned the angle.
God went quiet. Lucifer uncovered his face to see God just looking at him. “Well, go on,” encouraged God with a grin.
“Fine.”
To be continued.
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I love how God keeps reminding Lucifer about the inglorious act of "creation" that produced the cynocephaly. God is laughing at the abomination and this humiliates proud Lucifer. The Ancient of Days is having fun: So much for Lucifer's "glorious rebellion."
ReplyDeleteHumans were doing it to. They copied what the angels did. It looks goofy when they do it too.
DeleteNo matter how lucifer rationalize it he still "boinked a dog" and God will be there to remind him haha. Hilarious how God brought up the man with the goat in Sodom, haha. Lucifer is delusional blaming God for his own mess.
ReplyDeleteLucifer has always had problems with responsibility.
DeleteIt is hard to take them seriously when they are doing such things. This was not a creation, but an abomination. I am not surprised to find that things did not turn out right.
ReplyDeleteIt was an inglorious beginning and ending.
Delete