Fairy Tale Spotlight: Our Divine Spinoff, Part 16

“I thought you loved me,” said Delilah as Samson lay upon his bed. His arm was draped over his eyes as she spoke to him. “I thought you cared.”

“I do,” groaned the man.

“Lies! All lies!”

“Delilah, when will you cease this bickering? You’ve been at it for days. I’d much rather spend this time with my two friends.”

“They don’t trust you either.”

Samson looked at her with a scowl. “Do you think that I am so stupid that I do not know why you asked me of my weakness?” Delilah pouted. The man added, “It is very clear that you enjoy seeing me kill people, which admittedly does often lead to much fun under the sheets… and sometimes on top. But, dear, the novelty is wearing thin.”

“It would be different if you just told me the truth.”

“Why should I tell you anything?”

“Because it would prove to me that you really do love me.”

Samson did not answer. He only groaned as he looked away from her. “It should only be that you trust me. I don’t understand these games.”

“You really don’t love me,” she accused.

God leaned against the table looking a bit bored. “Even I’m getting tired of listening to her.”

Lucifer looked up at God. “You are?”

“Oh, don’t think for a moment that you have impressed me. I can see how you control the female sex on the Line. You made them unbearably annoying. I mean… I’m literally getting a headache… and I’m God. Congrats.”

“She is wearing him down. He shall soon betray you.”

“I wish he would,” said God. “It seems like it would be the only way to make her shut up.”

“Are you saying that you want Samson to fail?”

God peered over at Lucifer wearily. “He was always going to fail, Lucifer. I knew that from the beginning.”

“You did?”

“Yes. I hate to break it to you, Lucifer, but I do have the ability to look ahead and see what’s going to happen. But seriously, your woman won’t stop nagging. Is that your brilliant plan to make the world yours? Nagging women?” Lucifer stared. God added, “It suites you. Reminds me of all the times you stopped by to convince me of things. Breaking my vases. Acting like a fool. I’m not surprised Samson breaks down in the end.”

“But you never broke down,” said Lucifer.

“There’s a reason for that.”

“What is it?”

“Page 2016. Look it up someday.”

“I’m a bit busy right now.”

“Being annoying?”

Lucifer scowled before looking back to the table. “All right!” shouted Samson. “Just shut up! I’ll tell you!”

“No, you won’t!” she cried. “You don’t love me after all!”

“No, just stop! Here is the truth. No razor has ever touched my head because I have been a Nazarite dedicated to God from my mother’s womb. If my head were to be shaved, my strength would leave me, and I would become as weak as any other man.”

“I did it,” muttered Lucifer.

“Is it over?” asked God. “Has she finally shut up? Oh, finally. I’m gonna go get another drink.”

To be continued.

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Fairy Tale Spotlight: Our Divine Spinoff, Part 15

Lucifer poured himself another drink and downed it in one shot. He wiped his mouth and sat back in his chair. God asked him, “Anything yet?”

“Nope, still sober,” said Lucifer.

“Me too,” chuckled God. “I’m enjoying it though. You aren’t such a bad drinking companion when you’re quiet. In fact, I like you best when you’re quiet.”

Lucifer gazed over to God and raised an eyebrow. “You once said that you loved my singing voice.”

“I did. But you haven’t been singing as of late. Lately you’ve just been spouting off nonsense like a broken computer. I like you better lately when you simply shut up and hang out with me.”

“You like spending time with me?” asked Lucifer a bit incredulously.

“As I said… when you’re quiet.”

“I’ve only been quiet because trying to convince you of anything is like pulling teeth.”

God chuckled as he poured himself another drink. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Pulling teeth is hilarious.” Lucifer cringed. God took a sip and asked, “You really think I’m an asshole, don’t you?”

“I do,” replied the angel. “However I also think that your actions are both in poor taste and a matter of incompetence. Remember Adam and Eve?”

“I remember,” nodded God.

“Adam and Eve are purely the result of a lack of planning. I moved in on your creation and exposed all of it for its flaws. I also stole your women away. Eve was mine from the beginning, and since that day, I have done with her as I please. Her kind, her very gender, has been mine as well. They no longer belong to you. I have stolen them from you.”

God nodded. “Good riddance.”

“Really?”

God shrugged. “Women were an afterthought. I made them appealing to me, but it was Adam that was my intended successor. He was the disappointment.”

“Subdued by my woman,” remarked Lucifer.

“I never claimed to have any control over Adam. In fact, Adam was not even the beginning of the story… at least how I see it. It was unfortunate, but far from putting an end to my plans.”

“You created a weakness in men that I can exploit.”

God nodded. “I like boobs too, Lucifer. That doesn’t mean I’ll sell myself short for them. Like I said, you can have the fairer sex if you want them. But I will say this to you: If even one of them turn on you and prove themselves worthy, I am going to laugh at you so hard that your hair will fall out from embarrassment alone.”

“That is a cruel thing to say,” grumbled Lucifer.

“Bald people are funny.”

“You lied to me again!” cried Delilah.

“And you,” snapped Samson, “are still trying to turn our relationship into a crowded affair! Damn it, woman! I’m straight!”

She began to weep loudly, “Why do you make such a fool of me?! I love you! Why? Why? Why?!”

“Good grief,” grumbled Samson.

“Why not just be sincere with me?!”

“Yes, okay. But you must stop calling in all these strange men to our bed. Although I do like murdering them, I like playing with you more.”

“Please tell me the truth this time!”

“Yes, okay. I’ll do anything for my two big friends. So here is how to subdue me: If you weave the seven braids of my head into the fabric on the loom and tighten it with the pin, I’ll become as weak as any other man.”

“And this is truly how you may be subdued?”

“Sorry, what? I was looking at your boobs again.”

“Lie number three,” chuckled God.

“That shall be his last,” said Lucifer before downing another glass.

“I won’t stop you,” said God with a soft smile.

To be continued.

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Fairy Tale Spotlight: The Creation Tiers

Hi there. First, let me explain what you are actually seeing here. I am going to be working on Our Divine Spinoff for a while, and I just got to missing doing my usual Fairy Tale Spotlight blogs. I figured it would not hurt to toss one in the middle once in a while while I continue working on it. Don't worry. This blog is not going to interrupt Our Divine Spinoff. I am still posting two chapters a week. If you are reading this and wondering if I am just not posting a new episode of Our Divine Spinoff this week, think again. I post Our Divine Spinoff on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Any intermittent extras will come out on Wednesdays, like this one. That's three blogs per week... if I choose to do an extra one.

Another thing I want to mention is that I have already published Our Divine Comedy to the Amazon store. I'll provide some information about it at the bottom of this blog. But first I want to talk about something that I skimped on a bit in that very book: The Creation Tiers.

The Creation Tiers is a term coined by me that is used to explain the difference in the relationship between God and the creations of God. It lays out the very basic foundation of my views of the divine in relationship to us and was a major part of my perspective found in Our Divine Comedy and Our Divine Spinoff. Let me attempt to lay it out for you as clearly as possible.

God and the Holy Spirit rests atop of everything (that we are abstractly aware of) in a place I call the Circle. It is a place without time. It is the reason God is aware of the past, present, and future. This place is known as Creation Tier 1. Creation Tier 1 existed before, during, and after the creation of the universe. It holds within itself the incomprehensible origins of God and his Holy Spirit.

The known universe, the solar system, earth, human beings are all direct creations of God: They exist in a place I call the Line. Time exists here. Everything moves from the past to the present and into the future in one direction. People themselves are only aware of the present and somewhat aware of the past through word of mouth, documentation, and memory. None of the former things I mentioned are related to Creation Tier 1. Therefore the latter items exist entirely on Creation Tier 2.

Additional: Other creations of God exist within Creation Tier 2. This includes all angels, cherubs, archangels, and Lucifer (Satan) himself. These beings are anything like us biologically, yet they still exist within the same Creation Tier. Lucifer stands with us as a creation of God. We both exist because of choices God made. We are together in this way.

What about Demons? Demons are a corruption of the nature found in Creation Tier 2. Even though produced through the actions of angels (or likely in this case... devils), the demons produced are the mere combined genetics of of two Creation Tier 2 creations. Therefore, the produced demon remains a product of Creation Tier 2. Satan will often refer to demons as his creation. This is a lie. They were not created at all, only begat.

What is Jesus? Jesus is a conduit between Creation Tier 1 and Creation Tier 2. He is the only one in all of history who had held this title. The reason for this is because he is a human man existing on the Line but possessed by the Holy Spirit. This is why, through him, we may have access to eternal life within the Circle.

Relationships and judgments: A being from Creation Tier 2 cannot fully understand, comprehend, or cast judgement upon a being from Creation Tier 1. For this reason, no man can fully understand God or the Holy Spirit. No man can fully comprehend God or the Holy Spirit outside of the abstract. No man can cast any judgement of any sort upon God or the Holy Spirit for the lack of the former two aspects, namely understanding and comprehension.

Beings from the same Creation Tier are perfectly capable of judging each other. Men can judge other men. It is just that simple. Likewise, men can judge the angels as well as Lucifer himself. Also likewise can the angels judge us--the latter being understandably dangerous and unnerving.

What is Creation Tier 3? Creation Tier 3 occurs when and if beings from Creation Tier 2 create some form of life of their own. They do not have to be biological, but must be a self-sustaining (no longer needing any assistance from Creation Tier 2 to continue existing). Creation Tier 3 does not presently exist.

This ends my very basic explanation of the Creation Tiers. I hope it helps you understand my perspective on how it all works. If you have any questions on any part of this blog, I encourage you to leave it in the comment section of the blog. I will do my best to help you.

Now, as I said at the beginning, I have published a book for the Our Divine Comedy blog. The book is called Our Divine Comedy - A Story about God, Lucifer, and some guy named Chris. If you have already read the blog, then great. But the book has far more content. It includes a full commentary after each chapter to better explain what I was getting at. The book is recommended for all people, especially Christians and the general open minded population of this planet. The book is also very irreverent, so... if that bothers you, look elsewhere.

Here is some information as well as a link to the Amazon page:

Kindle Edition - $3.33 (Click here!)

Paperback Edition - $13.33 (Click Here!)

Click here to check out all the books I have for sale!

Fairy Tale Spotlight: Our Divine Spinoff, Part 14

God came back to the table and poured Lucifer a strong drink. “What is this?” asked the angel.

“I didn’t look,” said God. “I don’t usually touch the stuff myself, but I’m feeling a bit generous today. Was thinking about sharing a drink with you today.”

“What for?” asked Lucifer with obvious suspicion.

God placed a filled glass up to his lips before asking, “Lucifer, have I ever actually needed a reason for anything I’ve done?”

Lucifer picked up the glass. “Touché.”

God continued as Lucifer drank, “I’ve done many things in my life, but I have to say that this little outing with Samson has been the pinnacle of my overall enjoyment. I wanted to thank you.”

The angel was incredulous. “Thank me?”

“Of course,” nodded God. “I’m inspired by a great many things, but your stupidity finally paid off. Samson is amazing.” He held up his glass. “So thanks for being an idiot, Lucifer.”

Lucifer just glared at God as the almighty being downed the glass. The angel sighed and looked back to the table. “There is nothing good or just about that thing down there. The beings I create are far less destructive. They create order.”

God coughed. “I know. They’re boring.”

“They thrive though. Your Samson will fail.”

“You’re confident in that, aren’t you, Lucifer?”

“Yes, I am. I have seen something within him that I have seen before.”

God nodded. “I know the weakness you’re referring to. I told you that you could make your move, and I meant it.”

“And I shall validate my original point in the process,” added Lucifer.

“That… is yet to be seen.”

Lucifer placed his glass to the table and gestured down to Delilah. The woman pouted, “You made a fool of me! How could you?”

Samson rolled his eyes. “I wanted kinky, woman, but a slew of soldier in the same bed as we is a bit less to my liking. But admittedly it was fun to kill them all, so I cannot be too mad at you. Also you have nice boobs.”

“Samson!” she cried.

“Yes, I am here, my dear. Shall I take off my pants or shall you do it? How dexterous are you with your teeth?”

“Samson! No lies this time! Tell me what it takes to subdue you! Can’t you tell that I love you?”

“This again,” he groaned.

“Please? I love you, Samson. I won’t call in the Philistines again. I promise. Can’t you see truth in these eyes?”

If Samson was to seek truth in her eyes, he would not have found it, but sadly, he had not been looking into her eyes at that particular moment. He had been looking at two other things. And so Samson said to her, “If anyone ties me securely with new ropes that have never before been used, I’ll become as weak as any other man.”

“Are you sure this time?”

“Yeah… sure. Take off your clothes.”

“That’s the second lie,” said God.

Lucifer nodded as he rolled the glass in his fingers. “I know.”

“And another group of Philistines just bit the dust.”

“I know.”

“Are you having as much fun as I am, Lucifer?” Lucifer did not answer.

To be continued.

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Fairy Tale Spotlight: Our Divine Spinoff, Part 13

“Do you love me?” asked Delilah as she kissed and was kissed by Samson.

“Yes,” he told her as he lay on top of her.

“Why do you love me?” she asked.

“Because of these,” he replied.

“Only these?” she asked.

“I love all three of you, but I am especially fond of these two.”

Delilah giggled as he began to kiss them and fondle them. “Would you like to hear a riddle?” he asked.

“I’m not much for riddles, Samson.”

“That’s fine,” he said with a grin. “We can skip the riddles and just get right to the punchline.”

“Punchline?”

“Sex.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, get it? The punchline is my—“

“Yes! Yes, I understand,” Delilah giggled. “But I thought we could talk for a bit.”

“About what?” Samson seemed a little disappointed.

Delilah brought him into another embrace and kissed him full on the lips. She looked him in the eyes and asked, “Tell me of the secret of your strength and how you would be subdued.”

“What for?” he asked with a grin.

“So we can get kinky together. Don’t you like kinky?”

“Maybe,” Samson continued to grin.

Delilah rubbed his cheek softly. “If you tell me, I’ll be sure to make it fun for you.”

“You promise?”

“I do.”

“Sure you don’t want just one riddle?”

She giggled. “Samson, please.”

“Okay. So this is how it works. You have to tie me up with seven fresh bowstrings that have not been dried. After that, I’ll be yours to command.”

“He lied,” said God.

“Yes, I know,” said Lucifer. “I need more time.”

“I figured you might.”

God leaned back in his chair as he watched the Philistines attempt to capture Samson and utterly fail. He sighed and chuckled at the head bashings that occurred afterwards. “That never gets old,” chuckled God. “I will honestly never tire of seeing your people get killed, Lucifer.” The angel groaned a little but continued to stare at the table with intent.

To be continued.

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Fairy Tale Spotlight: Our Divine Spinoff, Part 12

God was leaning over the table in a somewhat lazy way. He watched as Samson traveled into the Valley of Sorek. There he met a woman and went off with her to do naughty things. God smiled lightly and clapped his hands as Samson did one of the things he did extremely well. “That’s my boy!” he chuckled.

Lucifer walked over and sat in the chair next to God. “Can we talk?”

God looked away from the table and to his greatest angel. “Is it gonna be something stupid again?”

“No.”

“Because seriously… I’m running out of vases, Lucifer.”

“Yes, I know. I’ve given up on that analogy.”

“After six times though.”

“Yes,” groaned Lucifer. “I won’t break any more of your vases. I just want to talk.”

God nodded and leaned back in his chair. “What’s the topic?”

“Delilah,” replied Lucifer.

“Delilah? Delilah who is getting boinked by Samson? That Delilah?”

“Yes. Her.”

God nodded accommodatingly. “Say what you want to say, Lucifer.”

Lucifer began, “Delilah is a woman whom I have entirely placed my hands upon. She is a creature bound to my will. I have taken her away from you as I did with Eve. She has eaten of the fruit and has given up her humanity.”

“Yes, I am aware,” replied God.

Lucifer leaned over a bit onto the table. He was extremely solemn in his approach and God was likewise in his reception. The angel then said, “I am rather uncomfortable with what I am about to ask of you. I do not enjoy asking anything of you. If you haven’t figured it out yet, I don’t like or approve of you.”

“Understood. Don’t really care, but I appreciate you being open about your feelings. Although I feel the need to repeat that I actually do not care.”

“Yes,” nodded Lucifer with a groan.

God smiled and said, “You may make your request since you are being so mannerly.”

Lucifer placed a delicate hand to his own smooth and beautiful face for a moment. He breathed in deep before resting his arm back to the side of the table. “My request is this: That I be allowed to make my play unmolested.”

God nodded. “You are, of course, aware that, if I allow you to do this, I may at any time go back on my word.”

“That is, naturally, your privilege,” said Lucifer. “I am simply trying to be as polite as I can about this. I feel it is something that needs to be done.”

“To prove a point, I suppose.”

“Yes.”

God smiled. “Granted. And I shall not molest you in your efforts, nor will I go back on my word. But once you have proven your point, I shall take back control. Is that understood?”

“Of course.”

God motioned to the table. “Then do what you will.”

The angel’s face twitched only lightly as he nodded. “Thank you, God.”

To be continued.

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Fairy Tale Spotlight: Our Divine Spinoff, Part 11

As God was watching what Samson was doing, Lucifer suddenly began making a ridiculous little ringing noise. The angel continued to gaze at the table as he pulled out his phone. Taking a moment to look at the CallerID, Lucifer groaned, “Ugh.”

“Who is it?”

“Look, I’ll be right back. I need to take this.”

“Okie dokie,” said God who may not have actually cared to begin with.

Lucifer stepped into the other room and answered the call. “Yeah, Dagon. I told you never to call me up here.” He rubbed his eyes as he listened. “No, I can’t come down there right now. You know how much I hate the smell of fish.”

Lucifer sat down on a couch near where the computer was set up. He groaned as he heard the yammering of one of his demon acquaintances. “Samson is doing what now? Messing everything up? Yep. I know much too well about what he has been up to. I’ve been watching the whole thing with God.”

Lucifer nodded casually as he listened to further complaints. “Look, Dagon, it’s not as if I can just tell him to butt out of our lives. He’s God. Besides, he promised me I could win the next poker game.” He paused. “Well, I have to win at least one of them, shouldn’t I?”

Still the complains continued. “Dagon. Dagon! Calm down please. Your attitude is most unbecoming. I have a plan well in hand. I have been working very hard on the matter. Things are all falling into place. The Samson story is nearing its end, and you will be all the better for it.

“Imagine how much easier it will be once he is gone? You’ll get at least another thousand fish carvings. You like fish carvings, don’t you? Yes. I can hear from your voice that you do. I know how much the little swimmy things mean to you. Just imagine your great temple filled to the brim with all those lovely fish carvings.”

Lucifer smiled blandly. “It’s good to hear you calming down. Remember that cooler heads will always prevail. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and all that.

“Oh, and, Dagon… please don’t call me again. I’ll call you if I need you. Understand? Good.” Lucifer hung up and went back into the table room. He sat down next to God who was still staring down at Earth.

Without looking, God asked Lucifer, “How is Dagon doing?”

“Could be better,” muttered Lucifer.

“Still smells like fish.”

“Yep.”

God nodded. “I’m glad I don’t smell like fish.”

“Don’t we all,” replied the angel.

To be continued.

Thank you for reading my blog! Did you enjoy it? Either way, you can comment below, or you can email me at tkwadeauthor@gmail.com. You can also visit my website at www.tkwade.com. Check out my books! Thanks!